Women don’t actually want equality. Women are like the five year old that wants a dog for Christmas and we men are like parents. You’re not getting a fucking dog. Five year olds don’t get dogs because they have no responsibility. They’re immature. They get goldfish or Nintendo’s or other things that don’t require moments from their precious days of doing nothing.

Equality for women is exactly the same. Let me give an example.

There’s six ways to make a woman shut her fucking mouth — and you can count five of them on your hand.

I’m kidding of course. I would never advocate violence against women. Women are like television sets. They’re fun to watch, and smacking them around rarely improves their malfunction. When they start acting up and getting old on you, it’s just time to get a new one. [Read more]

This is a very special MenAreBetterThanWomen.com post about the man-meaning of Christmas, and how women pissed all over it.

[Read more]

Since I began the Honorary Man of the Month program (in which an ordinary woman can honorarily have the prestige usually saved for men for a fleeting moment), I have never thought that Carmen Electra would not be among the herd.

This month she has done a man-deed by outing prostitutes worldwide while participating in a charity auction. The auctioned prize: a date with Carmen Electra. The price: high enough so that Miss December “actually felt obligated to, like, sleep with the guy.”

Brava Madam. By the way, when I said prostitutes earlier, I was talking about all women. Every single woman on Earth is a prostitute. Most are just lousy at it. [Read more]

Throughout the ages, men have become timeless legends for sharing their unique gifts with the world. Mozart was a famous piano man. Hippocrates was a famous doctor man. Richard Simmons was a famous girlie man.

The point is that no woman can claim the same. Hey how about that. I’m a rhyming man by intuition and I was not aware of the predisposition.

Sure women can become timeless legends, but it’s always for one thing and one thing only.

Being a cocksucker. [Read more]

Since the beginning of time, man has sought to cheat death by doing the dirty deed himself. Yes, that’s right. I’m talking about suicide.

While I don’t personally think suicide is the way to go, I understand the mantality of it — a mantality that can be expressed as simply as, “That’ll show the bastard.” It’s the way we men have lived and loved since Mother Earth felt her first Five Across the Eyes in the form of plowshare and a patch of turnips.

“Herd be damned,” said primitave man. “Because of my mighty mangenuity, this is where I’m living from now on. Right where I planted these turnips. And if I so chose, this is where I’ll be dying, by lifting a massive boulder and then dropping it on my head.”

You have to respect that. [Read more]

Women are whores of many things. First of all, they are actual whores, which I’ve already proven. They’re also attention whores of course. That’s another obvious one. Then clothing whores and jewelry whores and shoe whores, but that’s all pretty much the same kind of whore — a money whore.

It comes as a major shock to me — which as a man I express in a simple, “Hmm, that’s interesting,” that women are also whores of a completely different colour.

Women are also memory whores. [Read more]

If a man is so inclined, he can learn everything he needs to know from one source: Superman. How to act, how to treat the less fortunate, how to live lies and lead double lives — it’s all there for men. That’s because Superman isn’t an alien from another planet, what he really is is the archetype for all men. Think about it.

Honor, strength, laser vision; I couldn’t pick three words that would better describe a man. That’s from Superman. Know what else is from Superman? Men are better than women. [Read more]

Love is a silly thing and also a major loss of Man Points to discuss. I, however, am going to have to shed those Man Points today as I drop the L-bomb.

Don’t worry about my Man Points though. I gained several thousand this week by drinking a beer into which some careless, anorexic, fatass shrew had discarded a cigarette.

Then I slipped her a free MenAreBetterThanWomen.com card and my Man Points lit up like a slot machine. [Read more]