Sexy Time

Men think about something every six seconds, and it isn’t sex. It’s getting the job done.

Much Ado About Passing Out After Screwing

Posted in Sexy Time on February 19th, 2008

All mysteries in life can be solved by The Bible or through some scientific thought. Here’s an example:

Where did the moon come from?

From the Bible, we know that the moon is just there and wouldn’t you rather hear about magic apples and talking snakes? I know I would.

Science tells us that the moon was formed 4.5 billion years ago from the ejected matter of a collision between the Earth and a rogue proto-planet — except that the Earth is spinning too fast and is too large for that to have happened, so maybe it was two collisions or maybe Mother Earth just got a lot fatter after spawning.

Typical. [Read more]

Men Are Better Than Women…In Bed

Posted in Sexy Time on July 22nd, 2007

Every time I piss a woman off by being especially profound, and every time I get a piece of hate mail, it starts with the same thing.

“Good luck getting laid, you gay jerk!”

Why is it that women never threaten to take away a meaningful relationship or a decent conversation? Or at least a conversation that doesn’t need a new type of punctuation invented to be properly transcribed.

Apparently, when I say all women are whores, I’m a “gay jerk�?, but when women say it (or imply it in this case), they’re making the world a better place through name calling. [Read more]