All Women Are Whores Part II

“It’s okay for men to sleep around, but when women do it, they’re called sluts!”

Man do I hate talking to women.

Talking to women is like prancing around in the backyard of someone who has five Dalmatians. First of all, you’re prancing and you shouldn’t be doing that, but more importantly have you seen what five Dalmatians can do to a backyard?

You shouldn’t even open the backdoor unless you’re wearing galoshes. And that’s exactly what you need to wade through women and their endless mouth shit.

Take this fucking gem.

“It’s okay for men to sleep around but women are sluts! That’s a double standard.”

No, sweetheart, that tank top is a double standard. A double standard of sexy.

I’m joking, but that’s all it takes to get that pre-rage, five-seconds-to-meltdown shrew to abandon her principles and taxi right back into the landing zone. Women are rock-solid reliable that way. I think I read something about how Jesus was deterred several times by a little harmless flirting.

Oh wait, no I didn’t. Because Jesus was a man.

Women have absolutely no clue what a “double standard” is. For every woman who’s ever said the words, there’re six who wish they would have and twenty who don’t know what the fuck anyone is talking about but are pretty sure they agree. Women think like seagulls. If they see anything that looks like bread (attention) they pounce on it like a flock of ravenous savages.

But what am I talking about?

The statement “It’s okay for men to sleep around but when women do it, they’re sluts” is complete bullshit. To women, it’s not okay at all for men to sleep around. No woman on Earth thinks that’s okay. They do, however, love it.

Women love a man-whore like they love oxygen. I’m not talking about oxygen for breathing either. I’m talking about oxygen for cleaning their pores — which more of them should do more often.

And men? Men don’t give ten shits if anyone’s a whore — except their daughters, sisters, and mothers; obviously, but that’s only because that manner of female philandery reflects poorly on a man.

Women think men think “it’s not okay for women to be whores” because women will believe anything we tell them. And we can tell them whatever we want. That’s one of the many prerogatives of being a man — doing and saying whatever you want, whenever you want. Nature knows that you as a man will use this responsibly, that’s why she gave you all the brains and muscle and not the fat ass.

I love you.
I have no idea what that is.
I totally respect you. For real.

Don’t make me laugh. Respect is earned. No woman has ever earned anything in her life.