Cross Dressing in Hollywood

This question was sent to me by Shawn (HelpWanted) of this very site.

“Re: Action movies. What’s the deal with this new-age superwoman bullshit?”

I’ll tell you what the deal is with this new-age superwoman bullshit, Shawn. Women are fucking up and men are better than them. That’s the deal.

It doesn’t get any more concise than this question. That’s how I know a man asked it. If a woman had asked it, it would have made no sense and sounded like a legal dissertation purchased by the word.

“When I look back at it, it would appear that…”

“I have been feeling recently before it was revealed that…”

What the fuck? That’s how women talk when they don’t know what they’re talking about — and that’s whenever they’re talking. They use the kind of connective phrasing that belongs in the debriefing documents of an army full of the dumbest fucks in history. Women speak like they diet: a lot of hot air that goes nowhere.

Plus six hundred Man Points, Shawn, for summing up the literary counter-reaction to the stupidest and most destructive movement the Earth has ever seen: feminism. Six hundred zeitgeist Man Points.

Today we’re talking about the slew of superheroine sluts who have been titillating film going audiences at an alarming frequency over the past decade. Lara Croft, that piece of ass from Fantastic Four, Mia Hamm — you all know who they are. The real deal with all of them, Shawn, is that feminism is stupid.

First and foremost, these new-age superwomen are all men. All of them. The first clue is that people like them — no one likes women.

Any woman who’s ever done anything worth anything is nothing more than a figment of a man’s imangination. In that respect, we’re not really seeing anything new on the silver screen. It’s just a bunch of men doing great things or women who wouldn’t be where they are without a man there propping them up.

The second deal is: as women unisex and equalize themselves into obsolescence, men are getting bored. We’re not getting threatened or emasculated, we’re just getting bored. Women in today’s world are like a bunch of mimes playing soccer with no ball. It’s a great game, but you can’t tell what’s going on because nothing’s fucking going on. It’s just a bunch of idiots running around on a field playing make-believe. Men are bored, so we’re striving towards the goal mankind has sought since inventing art: making the perfect woman — either a woman with no mouth, or a woman with a man’s brain. Guess which version is getting green lit.

But that’s not all.

A man wrote every piece of literature that has ever been worth a shit in the history of time. From the Bible to the The Da Vinci Code, a man wrote it, and as he wrote it he had one thing in mind: selling it.

If you tell women that they’re great like a man and they can solve crimes like a man and kick ass like a man and do it while having great hair like a man, then they’ll pretty much believe and buy whatever you want. If you put Jessica Alba in a unitard instead of a bikini women call it empowering instead of offensive. If you put a harp-nosed whore in New York instead of anywhere else it’s called “cosmopolitan” instead of “real life and crass”.

That’s feminism for you. Women drew a starting line and men wrote FINISH on it. Then the crappiest brass band in the world showed up and played whatever the fuck they wanted.