Men Are Eco-friendlier

It should be no surprise to men that women care as much about the environment as they care about anything else — including embarrassing themselves.

They don’t care about it at all.

Sure, when you think of the term “Eco-friendly” you might think of a bunch of obnoxious women braying on endlessly with vaguely communist catch phrases that they could never possibly understand.

Do your part.

But you also might think of how cool the old McDonald’s wrappers used to be before a man in charge changed them from Styrofoam to 100% recycled paper.

Guess which one of these actually helped the problem.

Women are all talk and a bunch of blowhards. Every man knows this is true because every man knows that they respond incredibly well to the exact same kind of shit. That’s because when you’re pretending to be a pompous arrogant ass, you’re speaking a language that women can understand. It’s like barking at a dog. You don’t know what you’re saying, but the dog will bark back sometimes.

The only thing that’s important is your conviction and your volume: as hard and loud as possible. Women take stances on all issues in exactly the same way: hard and loud but with no substance at all — and while whoring for the media as much as possible. Something else they’re great at. Whoring.

Animal and human rights? No. Women don’t actually give a shit about that. The very same women will show up at a protest or comfortably eat a hamburger wearing leather from every part of the world and adorned with gems and metals mined by children.

The environment? Nope. Don’t think so. For every one Double Quarter Pounder wrapper that a man recycles, a woman will have released about a cubic yard of aerosol propellant into the atmosphere and have had a small hand in torturing like a dozen bunnies and orangutans.

Women’s rights? Yea right. I just made myself spit Coke all over my keyboard even suggesting that women care about women’s rights. If women cared about women’s rights so much, then they would learn to keep their mouths shut when they’re in so far over their heads that they can’t even see the surface.

Men have been doing that for years. That’s why we don’t sound like a bunch of pompous jackasses, ever.