Michelle Wie Is a Big Quitter Cry-Baby

Recently woman golfing phenom Michelle Wie tried to qualify for the PGA Tour. The PGA Tour is where men go to play golf. That’s right, I said men. Wait a minute, you say, Michelle Wie is a 16-year-old woman! Doesn’t that mean she completely fucked up and most likely embarrassed herself?

Yes it does!

Michelle Wie got her 16-year-old ass handed to her. She was 18 fucking strokes behind when it was over for her. If you don’t know golf, in the game of life, that’s like living with your mother at the age of 38. You fucking suck.

So what does Michelle Wie do at 18 strokes behind? Finish the game with some dignity like those men from Cool Runnings?

Fuck no. Michelle Wie quits the tournament with 9 holes left to go claiming (get this) heat exhaustion.

Heat exhaustion? A professional golfer gets heat exhaustion!? Fuck you. That’s like a banker being allergic to money! Why isn’t Bob here today? Oh you didn’t hear? Turns out he’s allergic to money. How’s that for something that makes no fucking sense?

I could be very generous and posit perhaps Heat is Mandarin for Loser and she was actually retiring due to Loser Exhaustion in her native tongue, but we all know that’s not the case.

Interestingly, after reading her withdraw statement, I had to hospitalize myself for bullshit exhaustion — on account of me ingesting too much fucking bullshit while reading about this quitter woman cry-baby’s story of woe and chip-shoulder.

We know it’s not heat exhaustion because women quit at everything. They quit on their children. They quit on their jobs. And they quit on their fucking lives. They’re just big goddamn quitters. As soon as something doesn’t go their way it’s hands in the air and everyone’s a fucking asshole who deserves to clean up this mess anyway.

Fuck off.

The following is from an article of this “tragedy”.

“She’ll now have a week off before a two-week trip to Europe for the Evian Masters in France and the Women’s British Open.”

How do they even have a women’s gold tournament? Is it the last one to quit wins?

I know who loses. You for watching women’s fucking golf. Women golfers don’t even like women’s golf. That’s why they have such a hard-on for playing on the men’s tournament. And when I say hard-on, I’m talking about their penises.

Read About the Big Fucking Quitter