Obvious Penis Envy

If you want to experience the pain in the ass of a woman using your bathroom, just take a bucket of water and throw it all the fuck over the place. Then drag a wet towel all over your house.

What the fuck is women’s problem? How can they remember to close the curtain every single fucking time they take their clothes off, but not when it means turning my bathroom into Crocodile Mile.

Women are retarded at the bathroom, and much less good at it than men. We’re faster first of all. That’s not because of some bullshit like washing their hair either. It’s what I call the Gab Factor. Even when no one is around, women take frequent five minute breaks to think about what they’d like to be telling someone about themselves. It’s like practice for the Bitching Olympics. It’s also why women are millennia behind men when it comes to doing. We have more experience. Those five minute breaks add up.

Here’s some man food for thought. Women’s laissez faire attitude about the bathroom, combined with their lust for wine coolers and an excuse to act like whores has combined to equal one very disturbing new trend.

Women using the men’s bathroom!

I shit you not that this is absolutely true. I have seen it with my own eyes: the drunkest and most attractive of the destitute forging her way through the doors marked Men Only (sound familiar?) with a vapid and self-righteous smile plastered all over her face — knocking down barriers of a patriarchal society and scoring another point for feminism and against decency all at the same time.

Very disappointing ladies. How inappropriate.

If women had any backbone I would be worried about this turning into some kind of cultural shift; wherein men are now responsible for women’s difficulties with going to the bathroom in a timely fashion. Just like men are responsible for all of women’s other fucking difficulties. Men have to pay child support. What the fuck is that? It’s pretty much the same thing: horseshit. Women always have the option of spreading their legs and shutting their mouths. That way the money isn’t a handout.

Like I said, I would be worried, but every women I’ve seen pull this hijink will get right back to their own line with a simple, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing.” Which is exactly how to solve any altercation with a woman.

What the fuck do you think you’re doing.

There is no question mark. There should be no answer.