The Greatest Mother in America

Since when did women know how to take a stand?

They must be putting Man Juice in the water of Scottsdale, Arizona because a local woman is finally standing up for what she believes in. This woman is defiant like a man. She believes in shit like a man. And godammit she’s making a fuss about it. Manly.

Gardenia Zakrzewski Johansson is this December’s’s Honorary Man of the Month, and her message is: all women need to be immediately stripped of their children. Way to go, Gardenia.

Did you know children raised by a mother and father together are more likely to become criminals than children raised by single fathers? How do you like those apples? The science of statistics once again proves men are better than women. This time it additionally says women are poison to children.

Speaking scientifically, consider the absurdity of a woman raising a child. Isn’t that a bit like having a television cook your meals? The television has no taste buds or nose, it just wastes all the time you give it and is pretty to look at in the evening. What does that have to do with cooking a meal?


Children need things only a man can provide. Things like security and a moral center. What the fuck are women going to teach children about having a moral center? They’re all prostitutes. That’s not very fucking moral. Children also need clothes and food. Now how are women going to get that stuff? By prostituting themselves out of course.

If Nature wanted women to raise children, she would have given them more than half a brain to go out and get a job.

Gardenia Zakrzewski Johansson agrees with me, and she showed her contempt for women having access to their babies yesterday by locking her infant in the car while she took her dog on a thirty minute shopping excursion.

Good for her. It’s time more women started worrying about the welfare of their kids and fought to get their babies as fucking far away from themselves as possible. Johansson has killed two birds with one stone here as well by doing a little shopping for herself in the process. How manly is that! You can’t even spell man-efficient without M, A, N.

Just ask yourself this next time you see or hear of a woman battling for the custody of her children. Would everyone be so fucking thrilled about a mother with leprosy clinging to her child like it was Jesus’ ankle? No. It’s the exact same. All women have leprosy — a leprosy of morality.

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