Battery. It’s Not Just for Men, but it Should Be.

It’s a little known fact that 100% of “lesbian” relationships are abusive. I saw a Law and Order: Criminal Intent on the subject just last week. It raised some interesting questions in my sub-manconscious. That’s the male only version of the subconscious that does more than think about penises and wishing it had one. It thinks about getting the fucking job done.

Men are better than women at beating women. Don’t believe me? I have a quick way to fix that.

The quick way is to explain it rationally and reasonably and with appropriate candor. What did you think I was going to say? Throw down for a bout of fisticuffs over an insignificant point like men are better than women at beating women. Of course not. We’re all men here. I know it’s true, you know it’s true — anyone who knows anything knows it’s true. The rest of you (women who shouldn’t be here) can build a Cozy Princess canopy bed out of your ignorance and go fuck yourselves on it.

The only things worth fighting about are things worth fighting about, and all men know it. Women, however, don’t.

Women roll up their asexual pant-suit jacket sleeves and go in swinging over anything. They will physically fight you for left-over macaroni and cheese if you catch them at the wrong time of the month — weekdays. That’s why “lesbian” relationships are so abusive and crappy when a man isn’t involved. You have two natural born abusers and temper tantrum queens in the same relationship.

Imagine throwing a banana into a cage with two starving baboons. That’s how “lesbians” decide who controls the remote for the night. I’m talking about the television remote. It escalates from there.

Battery for no purpose is like a war without a cause — which all men know is stupid and pointless. That’s why all wars have causes. They’re started by men and we know exactly what we’re doing at all times. It’s just like if a man chooses to smack a woman. If an errant mule is misbehaving, it gets a whip. If a child is wandering out into the street, it gets grabbed by the wrist. Same shit. If a woman is putting herself in danger or can’t shut the hell up, she gets a reminder.

I’m not advocating violence against women here. You’d have to be crazy to think I was. Nor can I speak for all men all the time. I’m only saying that when a man’s thumb is raised for the purpose of discipline (and I mean all man all the time) it’s for a reason — a cause. And no matter what your position is, that’s better than no cause at all. Getting smacked by a woman is nothing of the sort.

Getting hit by a woman is like attending a business meeting on Monday morning and getting hit in the face by a foul ball. Where the fuck did that come from?

Women. Can’t live with ’em; can’t forget to take off your rings.