Ask Dick: Why Are Teenage Girls So Fucking Stupid?
A reader, Joey, sent me the following question.
How’s it going, Mr. Masterson? Straight to my man point, what the hell is the deal with young women who say that they don’t care about looks and want to settle with a man who cares for them, loves the, etc? These are freakin’ 15-17, 18 year old girls talking. What the hell are they settling down from? They’re reaching the age where they practice whore-crafts like fucking and sucking. You get my point.
Of course I get your point. If I didn’t get your point from that well-laid mansplanation, then I would have to be a woman. And then what would I do with my penis?
Use it as an ATM I guess. That’s all women seem to know what to do with them.
Women who are teenagers are like men who are teenagers. They’re stupider than their adult counterparts.
Granted, with women it’s hard to tell.
That’s why that show To Catch a Predator show on Dateline is unfair to all these alleged pedophiles. Just because a woman says she’s 14 and has the grammar of a drunken Carny, doesn’t mean that she is. Maybe she’s just having her period. Maybe she thinks that’s cute, who the fuck knows. Women lie all the time is my point. That’s why so many of them get pregnant.
Young women can’t do the same incredible things that young men can; things like sports and math and putting a mouse puppet on their penis and letting a snake bite it. Young women are just like women: they can’t do anything at all, incredible or not. As teenagers, however, they’re still full of hopes and dreams.
Stupid hopes and dreams.
When men are young men, they think they’re going to grow up and be Batman or James Bond or some fucking Rockstar playing two guitars at the same time; even if the odds are stacked massively against them. Batman, for example, didn’t weight 185 and drink Cherry Coke by the liter when he was 16. Women are the same, except a woman’s version of fortune and fame is a guy who will tolerate her for her endless parade of bullshit. Women are the Carnival of bullshit. It never fucking stops and by the third float you’ve seen just about all you’re going to see.
Teenage women who want a man who loves them, cares for them, and any other synonymous emotions women use because they love repeating themselves so fucking much, aren’t settling for anything. They’re just enjoying four years of the biggest, most-blissful pipe dream a woman ever experiences in her whole fucking life. The dream of having a say or a preference in a mythical man who takes an infinite amount of a woman’s grating, unending crap, occupies the life of the teenage girl. This is a dream women abandon at at the age of 22 in an act known as Learning Her Place.
Unless you count those harpy 30-somethings who think their pets are children. That’s the biggest, most-blissful pipe dream of femininity: children who can be locked in the fucking house.
Joey, minus ten Man Points for the non-offensive substitution of a swear word. Swearing loudly and with gusto is the best and manliest way to show anyone in ear shot that you are a man. That’s why teenagers do it so obnoxiously. They’re becoming men.
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January 26th, 2008 at 1:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 16b1e8934634d
If you had a decent arguement instead of throwing tantrums like a 4 year old there would be something to drop. Instead, here’s a coloring book. Now go play and leave talking to the adults, you’re making yourself look bad…not that you needed much help in the first place, child.
January 26th, 2008 at 1:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbbf87a6b3cfc
you had an absent father and a bad childhood. You hate women.
January 26th, 2008 at 1:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbbf87a6b3cfc
Mommy treated Arb wrong. Now Arb hates women.
January 26th, 2008 at 1:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
Nope, I learned nothing about Arbalest from that. Just the usual immature babble from another self-centered little girl.
Then why can’t you just wear them around the house, go to sleep in them, and take them off when you go into public with the adults? You’d have more heel-wearing time that way, and it’s not like you go outside for much anyways.
No, all girly-girls are closeted homosexuals. You’re either flat-out lying like the attention whore you are - and you fucking suck at lying, but you also suck at communicating so sometimes I just assume everything you say is just one of your little tantrums - or, or you are a little girly-girl in denial. Let’s check your myspace page and determine who is a lying, annoying, bitchy, miserable little whore, eh?
And what happened to leaving? Everyone wants you to go - we aren’t really putting a gun to your head, a cock in your ass, and leaning you in front of a keyboard, now are we?
It’s like I’m talking to a child, I can’t use sarcasm or anything because then this little baby would think I’m taking her seriously! I mean, I know that you think you know a lot - you’re basically too stupid or too self-obsessed to step back and see how mediocre you are - but really, you can’t see how absurd it is for some platform-sandal-wearing 17-year-old schoolgirl to talk about manhood and masculinity as though she knows shit about anything outside of her sheltered existence?
You aren’t funny. You don’t ‘rib’ people, you just piss them off with your lame, overused small dick jokes. You notice how your audience isn’t cheering for you? There are many different people here from many different backgrounds, and even differing political views. However, we share the fact that we are well-educated in our opinions - hence the only way you, in your ignorance, know to counter them is to devolve a logical argument into a series of childish insults. You then proceed to contradict yourself by attacking our maturity and once again using ignorance as an excuse for cruelty.
Do you notice how no one seems to learn anything about themselves from your own emotional beliefs about them, and yet they seem to learn so much about you? According to you, I am homosexual, I am homosexual because I feel that society treats homosexual men better than straight men, have small genitalia, wish I was a girl to the same extent that you wish you were a man, I am mentally inferior to you, and have never had any positive sexual experience whatsoever in a single day of my life.
You do not devote a single sentence of explanation to back up those claims. However, I know that you sound just like the other stupid whores who pester us on our site. You are emotional, vacant, and impatient. When I say you are emotional, I mean that you rarely use logic in your thinking but rather use the same type of egotistical viewpoint a three-year-old uses. You are also self-obsessed and boastful, both flaws of the character. You frequently flaunt your self-proclaimed superiority and achievements as backing for your illogical personal attacks.
Of course, those are just a few of the observations about you. Pretty much, you have every negative personality trait I can think of at the moment. You have probably suggested suicide to someone not as a joke, but rather as just a vacant uttering of your own selfishness. I mean, if you don’t like one thing about him, what right does he have to live? However, you undoubtedly frequently threaten personal bodily harm to those who can not help but to unconditionally love you in one form or another. Perhaps through your promiscuity, the vacant, attention-whoring way you dress, or your excessive compensation of your body and the current social privileges allowed for short, effeminate little girly-girls for actual wit and talent. You also undoubtedly find your sexual habits define very much about who you are. If you are a virgin, your stress it indefinitely, as though not putting out after being paid to do so somehow makes you superior in mind and body than a girl who upholds her promise. If you dress like you want to be fucked, you’d better be planning on getting fucked tonight. Otherwise, you’re just teasing and manipulating men who, through social conditioning, have been taught to believe that some ungrateful whore like you is all they have to settle for.
And then you bitches complain about men stalking you. Really… and is the whole ‘convince men that they are already rapists’ mentality working out so well for you little girls? I mean, if we’re already damned beyond salvation, then we’ll most certainly straighten our act out. Typical feminist brilliance at its shittiest.
January 26th, 2008 at 1:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: c246ac83ad4e1
you had an absent father and a bad childhood. You hate women.
By that logic I assume that by the other comments you’ve made you had a absent mother and daddy abused you? If so, that’s not an excuse to be a bitch and if not then stop using childish logic. Really now, get to that coloring book and remember the lines are there for a reason.
January 26th, 2008 at 2:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbbf87a6b3cfc
So now we have a double attack…. nice one guys.
Doubt…Sorry, don’t use myspace. You and your silly assumptions. Then start spouting off how im a closeted lesbian? Are you insane? You are really grasping for straws now. I don’t see how any man here can take YOU seriously with all the nonsense that comes out of your mouth. I’ve seen your other attacks on women here and I find it hard to believe anyone even listens to you but I have to admit it is fun to read your rants considering how insane they are. Just keep ramblin on… im sure it makes you feel better hypocrite.
January 26th, 2008 at 2:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbbf87a6b3cfc
Doubt I cant begin to reason with you. You strictly use attacks and lies to cover up the truth. No use bothering with you.
January 26th, 2008 at 2:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbbf87a6b3cfc
Arb, face it.. you have mommy issues. You either had an abusive or an absent father. No strong father prescence. A borderline floating creature with no self identity.
January 26th, 2008 at 2:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbbf87a6b3cfc
Doubt YOU’RE AN ABUSER! A woman abuser. A manipulator and a liar. I bet you do stalk women. God youre DEMENTED!
January 26th, 2008 at 2:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbbf87a6b3cfc
You are below mediocre. Youre an inferior man.
January 26th, 2008 at 2:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbbf87a6b3cfc
AND THEY CLAIM TO USE ”LOGIC”- YOUR ARGUMENTS ARE DEVOID OF LOGIC. ITS ALL EMOTION WITH YOU AND FALSE ACCUSATIONS, IM DONE!
January 26th, 2008 at 2:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbbf87a6b3cfc
i do wear heels round the house
January 26th, 2008 at 2:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
I HEARD THAT PART!
Say, are all whores just lying, emotional bitches who spout off whatever suits them at the time? They say girls use twice as many words as men, but have a tenth of the knowledge to say - all mixed up in bullshit and emotional self-obsession. You’ve lied again and again thus far, promising to fuck off and then breaking off your promises. You also fail to grasp even the most basic of literary concepts. The longer you stay here, the more of your jaded shell of a soul you show us and the dumber and more subhuman you slutty girly-girls look.
Can you leave? Or are you a liar? Trick question - if you answer it, you’ve already lost credibility theoretically - that is, presuming I had no long-term memory of the other garbage you utter.
By the way, I LOVE exploiting women. It’s my thing - go to small-town China, fuck a hot 16-year-old virgin without protection, kick her out of my board room the next morning, and feel that satisfaction with the knowledge that I continue to dilute my genes at a faster rate than any pussy-kissing mangina ever could.
And who gives a shit about the slut? After all, I am a morally inferior man - and I’d hate to make this little girly-girl a liar. I suppose I’ll live up to your standards - up being above the level of a schoolgirl with severely calloused knees. That’s biology, my sweet little used up, washed out girly-girl.
January 26th, 2008 at 2:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: c246ac83ad4e1
That’s nice child. Now that you’re done with your tantrum, here’s a English book. It explains all these nice things including when and when not to use capital letters, what’s wrong with the word “youre” and why correct use of language is needed to talk like a adult. Look, it even has pictures for you so it’ll be extra easy to learn from. Now sit down and read. Maybe if you actually learn from it, you’ll be rewarded with a ice cream cone.
January 26th, 2008 at 2:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: c246ac83ad4e1
And remember heels are for adults too, you can have some when your brain age can catch up with the speed of your mouth, okay?
January 27th, 2008 at 9:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297
Arb. She doesn’t need an adult book she needs:
- A crayon
- A coloring book
- Meds
- Electro-shock therapy
… and a string of psychologists. Or maybe a string of scientists to figure out what world she came from. I think KL had Daddy issues or maybe a distant relative touched her no-no parts when she was little and had not yet reached fruition. Po baby.
- Sgt. Reyes
January 28th, 2008 at 6:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
KL has the typical “Wear Plaid, be the Butch Dyke” syndrome.
Just like any other female, they show up to the party to fuck it up, not to be cool………..
You have to be talking about her Brains, of which I truly do believe she had a perverted Hannibal Uncle somewhere in there that touched her in the head and said, “No No, not that part”.
Didn’t work, tells you how good Cannabilism works……a female can even fuck that up…….
April 13th, 2008 at 2:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: ebaeb31b8c686
” putting a mouse puppet on their penis and letting a snake bite it.”
yes, real intelligent
May 1st, 2008 at 8:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 51be2d0d30a7f
That’s funny, you’re saying that someone needs an English book because of the way they type. Did you know that instead of “a” you’re supposed to use “an” before a word starting with a vowel. Since you did it twice in one post, I highly doubt it was a typing mistake. I think you are the one needing to read a book on proper English. Good job.
May 11th, 2008 at 1:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
Now, what the hell does a baby bottle have to do w/ the statement you said before it? ( by the way,go, you capitalist tiger…grrrr). Is this your subconscious slip that you’re neglecting your infant to post here? What the hell is that?
The most significant thing I extract Dick Masterson is the drastic, extreme need there is for social reform. Good Lord, get a foot in the door…anybody.
Besides that…he’s just a funny sob.