Ask Dick: Why Are Teenage Girls So Fucking Stupid?
A reader, Joey, sent me the following question.
How’s it going, Mr. Masterson? Straight to my man point, what the hell is the deal with young women who say that they don’t care about looks and want to settle with a man who cares for them, loves the, etc? These are freakin’ 15-17, 18 year old girls talking. What the hell are they settling down from? They’re reaching the age where they practice whore-crafts like fucking and sucking. You get my point.
Of course I get your point. If I didn’t get your point from that well-laid mansplanation, then I would have to be a woman. And then what would I do with my penis?
Use it as an ATM I guess. That’s all women seem to know what to do with them.
Women who are teenagers are like men who are teenagers. They’re stupider than their adult counterparts.
Granted, with women it’s hard to tell.
That’s why that show To Catch a Predator show on Dateline is unfair to all these alleged pedophiles. Just because a woman says she’s 14 and has the grammar of a drunken Carny, doesn’t mean that she is. Maybe she’s just having her period. Maybe she thinks that’s cute, who the fuck knows. Women lie all the time is my point. That’s why so many of them get pregnant.
Young women can’t do the same incredible things that young men can; things like sports and math and putting a mouse puppet on their penis and letting a snake bite it. Young women are just like women: they can’t do anything at all, incredible or not. As teenagers, however, they’re still full of hopes and dreams.
Stupid hopes and dreams.
When men are young men, they think they’re going to grow up and be Batman or James Bond or some fucking Rockstar playing two guitars at the same time; even if the odds are stacked massively against them. Batman, for example, didn’t weight 185 and drink Cherry Coke by the liter when he was 16. Women are the same, except a woman’s version of fortune and fame is a guy who will tolerate her for her endless parade of bullshit. Women are the Carnival of bullshit. It never fucking stops and by the third float you’ve seen just about all you’re going to see.
Teenage women who want a man who loves them, cares for them, and any other synonymous emotions women use because they love repeating themselves so fucking much, aren’t settling for anything. They’re just enjoying four years of the biggest, most-blissful pipe dream a woman ever experiences in her whole fucking life. The dream of having a say or a preference in a mythical man who takes an infinite amount of a woman’s grating, unending crap, occupies the life of the teenage girl. This is a dream women abandon at at the age of 22 in an act known as Learning Her Place.
Unless you count those harpy 30-somethings who think their pets are children. That’s the biggest, most-blissful pipe dream of femininity: children who can be locked in the fucking house.
Joey, minus ten Man Points for the non-offensive substitution of a swear word. Swearing loudly and with gusto is the best and manliest way to show anyone in ear shot that you are a man. That’s why teenagers do it so obnoxiously. They’re becoming men.
Related Articles:
Pages: « 9 8 7 6 5 4 [3] 2 1 » Show All
Side note: And yet under all of this drama, she still has a computer with an internet connection and time to post her family’s personal business. No shit, there are dysfunctional families - it’s kind of difficult to sympathize with someone who thinks she’s genetically superior to me due to her gender.
I don’t know you, and I don’t find you likable. Why in the hell would I give a shit about your little bleeding heart stories? You think you’re the only one in the world who has to go through shit, and that makes you better than everyone else?
Right-o, bitch-o. Try being falsely imprisoned or always, always being guilty until proven innocent by a cute little jaded teenage schoolgirl, and then perhaps you would know what shit is. Really, nobody gives a shit about you have put yourself through - you’ve had a while to think the situation through and so far you’ve only thought to start a pity party and invite a bunch of people whom you regularly tell off. Typical teenage girly-girl.
@Proutatheist:
You should be on a support help line. Not this site.
You are too kind Dick.
I am sorry for you proutathiest, I hope your family figures everything out.
No one gives a shit, Debbie Downer. Fuck off my website.
-Dick
This article particularly offends me becase as you all know, I am a teenage girl. You all want to know what I have to go through on a daily basis that I bet you wouldn’t even be able to handle? My family. I’m not talking about getting into fights occasionaly, or even a divorce. My dad is threatening to commit suicide, and I am afraid that he might actually do it this time. My mom calls my brother and I horrible names such as a pussy (that one is just to my brother) bitch, saying that I look like a whore, and saying that she wishes that we was never born. My brother is emotionally disturbed (suprise, suprise!) and punches my mom, and pulls down his pants, shakes his penis at me and tells me to suck his balls. He never used to act like that, and fortunatly, I am stronger and older than him, so he can’t actually DO anything to me. You think that teenage girls are stupid, but mabye, they just don’t know what to do in a tough dicision that I doubt alot of the people on this website would be able to make.
Fortunately none. And we are so thankful to be born of the gender which is better.
How many times have the men on this site ever been a teenage girl?
“Women like to argue that past sexist-repression held them back from significant contributions in the arts, discoveries, invention, atheletics, etc.
However, let’s look at just one (maybe two) of these areas to disabuse women of this “glass ceiling” type notion:”
They’re too fucking stupid to realise it…
If they are too fucking stupid to go past the “feminised and non-existant glass ceiling”, then they do not deserve to pass it…
This is absolutely true, and it’s not brought up often enough.
Women like to argue that past sexist-repression held them back from significant contributions in the arts, discoveries, invention, atheletics, etc.
However, let’s look at just one (maybe two) of these areas to disabuse women of this “glass ceiling” type notion: invention.
If the reason more women didn’t invent/weren’t credited with more inventions, yesteryear, was sexism of some manifest, then why is it, EVEN CONTEMPORARILY, men invent 90+% of EVERYTHING? Hmmm? I mean, after all, with all the favoritism and protectionism reserved for them, all their ideas would be delivered to the United States Patent and Trade Office on the proverbial silver platter - if they had any.
Atheletics: can anyone name one thing where the best ten women in any game/sport could beat the ten best men?
This society needs to dump the PC nonsense, and get real.
Fargo, ND
I am not a woman but I be glad to help you answer that. To be honest, I thought about it for days yet I could come up with no answer. Perhaps women may be better in areas like parenting, cleaning, handling mails, doing appointments (secretary work)? Women are pretty good with details and making sure there are no errors missing. This I give that fair credit. However, men are just better 99% of the time.
That explains the existence of this site and why women are “being fucked” and not “fucking”
How much do you guys wanna bet that a teenaged girl was looking over his shoulder as he wrote that.
Best of luck tapping that ass, Sam.
wow you guys need to find a proper girl, not all of them are like that, just the ones you guys find obviously!
what about your mums? did they sleep around and do all this crap you are claiming? cause they are women aren’t they?
And saying that women dont do hardly anything in the world, are you crazy?
i admit, some women are stupid and whores, but only a few, there are more men that are like that! you cant stereotype them like that!
the only woman i know off that is anything like as bad as you all talk about is Germaine Grear!!
But seriously, get out there and meet some nice girls, there are lots
yeah he nailed it…
All women should repeat this a few hundred times til they get the hang of it. Men are better than women.
Motley Crue - Hammered
Speak it big guy!
Everything you women see ,hear and touch outside of nature was more than likely either creating and orengineered by a man. That includes, the car you drive, the clothes you wear, the freeway or highway you drive on, the computers you use, every machine or appliance you know and dont know of. Women are her for one reason only, to keep the species going. If every invention that any man ever made were to suddenly FUCKING DISAPPEAR imagine where your life would be? You would be a little more than a cave women. Sound appelaing to all you feminists nut cases out there? The quality of life you live is 99% atributable to mens intelligence and hard work, not womens. Many american women need a fucking reality check BIG TIME!
Your post got me thinking. It’s intended for women too, because there’s so few women out there that does comedy.
I’m going to ask a serious question here. While there are areas in society where there’s more women than men, is there really ANY area where we can truly say that women are better than men?
I’ve been thinking about the subject for 10 minutes now. And I simply can’t seem to find any sports-dicipline, line of work, or art, where women ARE better than men.
Can someone help me? I’d like some input from a woman on this subject.
Those videos are brutal.
The only problem is the definition offered at the beginning is needless: Men know the meaning of suffrage.
(I guess the video is intended for women, too)
The best one is actually in this video at 02:10, where Brainless Twit Number Three actually says, “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing,” as she signs the petition to end women’s suffrage.
The kicker, of course, is that her two girlfriends, Brainless Twits Numbers One and Two were with her. They’d previously signed and then found out what it meant. Yet they didn’t once try and stop Twit Three — and in fact stood there laughing while she did it.
Typically female: “I did something stupid, so let’s trick my friend into doing something stupid so I don’t feel too much like an idiot.”
To be fair, the women at the League Of Women Voters table actually knew what it meant. I have to admit that watching it, I thought it would be the height of irony if they hadn’t.