Ask Dick: Why Are Teenage Girls So Fucking Stupid?
A reader, Joey, sent me the following question.
How’s it going, Mr. Masterson? Straight to my man point, what the hell is the deal with young women who say that they don’t care about looks and want to settle with a man who cares for them, loves the, etc? These are freakin’ 15-17, 18 year old girls talking. What the hell are they settling down from? They’re reaching the age where they practice whore-crafts like fucking and sucking. You get my point.
Of course I get your point. If I didn’t get your point from that well-laid mansplanation, then I would have to be a woman. And then what would I do with my penis?
Use it as an ATM I guess. That’s all women seem to know what to do with them.
Women who are teenagers are like men who are teenagers. They’re stupider than their adult counterparts.
Granted, with women it’s hard to tell.
That’s why that show To Catch a Predator show on Dateline is unfair to all these alleged pedophiles. Just because a woman says she’s 14 and has the grammar of a drunken Carny, doesn’t mean that she is. Maybe she’s just having her period. Maybe she thinks that’s cute, who the fuck knows. Women lie all the time is my point. That’s why so many of them get pregnant.
Young women can’t do the same incredible things that young men can; things like sports and math and putting a mouse puppet on their penis and letting a snake bite it. Young women are just like women: they can’t do anything at all, incredible or not. As teenagers, however, they’re still full of hopes and dreams.
Stupid hopes and dreams.
When men are young men, they think they’re going to grow up and be Batman or James Bond or some fucking Rockstar playing two guitars at the same time; even if the odds are stacked massively against them. Batman, for example, didn’t weight 185 and drink Cherry Coke by the liter when he was 16. Women are the same, except a woman’s version of fortune and fame is a guy who will tolerate her for her endless parade of bullshit. Women are the Carnival of bullshit. It never fucking stops and by the third float you’ve seen just about all you’re going to see.
Teenage women who want a man who loves them, cares for them, and any other synonymous emotions women use because they love repeating themselves so fucking much, aren’t settling for anything. They’re just enjoying four years of the biggest, most-blissful pipe dream a woman ever experiences in her whole fucking life. The dream of having a say or a preference in a mythical man who takes an infinite amount of a woman’s grating, unending crap, occupies the life of the teenage girl. This is a dream women abandon at at the age of 22 in an act known as Learning Her Place.
Unless you count those harpy 30-somethings who think their pets are children. That’s the biggest, most-blissful pipe dream of femininity: children who can be locked in the fucking house.
Joey, minus ten Man Points for the non-offensive substitution of a swear word. Swearing loudly and with gusto is the best and manliest way to show anyone in ear shot that you are a man. That’s why teenagers do it so obnoxiously. They’re becoming men.
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December 22nd, 2007 at 12:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
You are too kind Dick.
I am sorry for you proutathiest, I hope your family figures everything out.
December 22nd, 2007 at 2:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: c0bb8868ca068
@Proutatheist:
You should be on a support help line. Not this site.
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: 60c984a618a05
I don’t know you, and I don’t find you likable. Why in the hell would I give a shit about your little bleeding heart stories? You think you’re the only one in the world who has to go through shit, and that makes you better than everyone else?
Right-o, bitch-o. Try being falsely imprisoned or always, always being guilty until proven innocent by a cute little jaded teenage schoolgirl, and then perhaps you would know what shit is. Really, nobody gives a shit about you have put yourself through - you’ve had a while to think the situation through and so far you’ve only thought to start a pity party and invite a bunch of people whom you regularly tell off. Typical teenage girly-girl.
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: 60c984a618a05
Side note: And yet under all of this drama, she still has a computer with an internet connection and time to post her family’s personal business. No shit, there are dysfunctional families - it’s kind of difficult to sympathize with someone who thinks she’s genetically superior to me due to her gender.
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 60c984a618a05
I’m sorry, I must have missed it. Don’t worry about repeating/contradicting yourself, I’ve heard the same thing over and over and all I can glean from the mess is self-obsessed bullshit. Typical girly-girl, a computer with an internet connection and all she can think of is what she doesn’t have yet.
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
Genetically superior, no. I think that men are better than women at alot more things than women think. But I do not think that women can not be great.
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
Ok, so what exactly would you expect me to do with this “internet connection”? My mom is the cause of most of this, because she treats my dad like s**t, but I digress, why would I tear my family apart just to go into some foster care home that is probably no better than mine?
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
Who is Debbie Downer?
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
Being a downer, such as depressing. It’s just a name he made at your expense.
December 22nd, 2007 at 6:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
Oh well, I was sort of expecting worse. I was just wondering, but why did Dick make this website? So he can “talk about how he feels”? Isn’t he the one who said that talking about your feelings does not help you feel better? I would understand if he was actually going to DO something, but apparantly all he can do is write things and appear on a talk show. Actions speak louder than words Dick, and I do not see you protesting to the government. or working to change things.
December 22nd, 2007 at 6:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
Oh well, I was sort of expecting worse. I was just wondering, but why did Dick make this website? So he can “talk about how he feels”? Isn’t he the one who said that talking about your feelings does not help you feel better? I would understand if he was actually going to DO something, but apparantly all he can do is write things and appear on a talk show. Actions speak louder than words Dick, and I do not see you protesting to the government. or working to change things.
December 22nd, 2007 at 6:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
I agree with you.
They aren’t making a serious difference in the world, as you and I are too young to do as much as he, a grown adult, could. He would rather spend his free time on here, arguing with women and men that disagree with them. Although I am young, I already beling to certain organizations, volunteering money to assist in decreasing pollution and helping reverse global warming, which is an awful large task. Along with my family members whom also belong to organizations, we are trying to help in the world. I can’t say that others on this website don’t, considering I don’t know what they do woth their spare time, I am adressing Dick, whom I can only assume does not care for anyone other than himself.
December 22nd, 2007 at 6:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2631c4500e56d
There you go….talking about yourself again.
December 22nd, 2007 at 6:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
There I go.
I just can’t help myself!
Whoops, there I go again.
December 22nd, 2007 at 6:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: f20922f69272c
lol
December 22nd, 2007 at 9:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 60c984a618a05
Mental masturbation. Right, you donate a large sum of money to a vague organization which may or may not just use it to pay companies to implement carbon reductions that they would be required by law to anyways.
December 22nd, 2007 at 9:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 60c984a618a05
Accidentally hit enter.
Anyways, then she goes on endorsing those bullshit Bratz dolls and buys short-skirts and other blind, greedy superficiality.
December 22nd, 2007 at 9:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
Fantastic. Another stereotype. I can add that to the pile.
December 23rd, 2007 at 2:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 44e6eae08303f
Women everywhere are destroying familes. It’s nothing new Hug your Dad and tell him that you understand that your Mom is a bitch. Then you shall have understanding on half the population.
women suck as people