Ask Dick: Why Are Teenage Girls So Fucking Stupid?
A reader, Joey, sent me the following question.
How’s it going, Mr. Masterson? Straight to my man point, what the hell is the deal with young women who say that they don’t care about looks and want to settle with a man who cares for them, loves the, etc? These are freakin’ 15-17, 18 year old girls talking. What the hell are they settling down from? They’re reaching the age where they practice whore-crafts like fucking and sucking. You get my point.
Of course I get your point. If I didn’t get your point from that well-laid mansplanation, then I would have to be a woman. And then what would I do with my penis?
Use it as an ATM I guess. That’s all women seem to know what to do with them.
Women who are teenagers are like men who are teenagers. They’re stupider than their adult counterparts.
Granted, with women it’s hard to tell.
That’s why that show To Catch a Predator show on Dateline is unfair to all these alleged pedophiles. Just because a woman says she’s 14 and has the grammar of a drunken Carny, doesn’t mean that she is. Maybe she’s just having her period. Maybe she thinks that’s cute, who the fuck knows. Women lie all the time is my point. That’s why so many of them get pregnant.
Young women can’t do the same incredible things that young men can; things like sports and math and putting a mouse puppet on their penis and letting a snake bite it. Young women are just like women: they can’t do anything at all, incredible or not. As teenagers, however, they’re still full of hopes and dreams.
Stupid hopes and dreams.
When men are young men, they think they’re going to grow up and be Batman or James Bond or some fucking Rockstar playing two guitars at the same time; even if the odds are stacked massively against them. Batman, for example, didn’t weight 185 and drink Cherry Coke by the liter when he was 16. Women are the same, except a woman’s version of fortune and fame is a guy who will tolerate her for her endless parade of bullshit. Women are the Carnival of bullshit. It never fucking stops and by the third float you’ve seen just about all you’re going to see.
Teenage women who want a man who loves them, cares for them, and any other synonymous emotions women use because they love repeating themselves so fucking much, aren’t settling for anything. They’re just enjoying four years of the biggest, most-blissful pipe dream a woman ever experiences in her whole fucking life. The dream of having a say or a preference in a mythical man who takes an infinite amount of a woman’s grating, unending crap, occupies the life of the teenage girl. This is a dream women abandon at at the age of 22 in an act known as Learning Her Place.
Unless you count those harpy 30-somethings who think their pets are children. That’s the biggest, most-blissful pipe dream of femininity: children who can be locked in the fucking house.
Joey, minus ten Man Points for the non-offensive substitution of a swear word. Swearing loudly and with gusto is the best and manliest way to show anyone in ear shot that you are a man. That’s why teenagers do it so obnoxiously. They’re becoming men.
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March 12th, 2007 at 6:07 am - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
Good points as usual Dick.
I might add that when these girls are looking to settle what they really mean is I need a man to take me away from Mom because she is getting on my nerves.
March 12th, 2007 at 8:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 8299878eb9077
Have you ever tried that? I did. I knocked the snake out with a quick flick.
March 13th, 2007 at 6:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2f2d948528fdf
“That’s why that show To Catch a Predator show on Dateline is unfair to all these alleged pedophiles.”
-One thing I semi-agree with. Though these guys are pretty sick, I put more blame on the dumb 14 year olds that agree to meet with them. Btw, I hate feeling embarrassed for other people, so I hate watching that show. Makes me cringe. Every Dude Thats Been On That Show: “i wasn’t actually going to do anything with her”.
March 14th, 2007 at 12:10 am - IP Man-Hash: 76e36f9177b89
Then again, why is it always 100% the accusor’s fault? Shouldn’t the stupid little girls serve time too? I mean, they did commit a crime. I’m not saying that a pre-teen victim should take the blame for what some pervert does, but when a 15 year old girl dresses like a slut, gets drunk, and then ends up in some stranger’s bed, she’s kind of accountable for HER behavior. The difference is that with an 11 or 12 year old, they’re stupid like most children are and even if it is ‘consentual,’ they definately were deceived or exploited. However, after at least 13 (hey, if they beg to wear heels and whore paint, then they really should be held accountable for their mistakes and such,) consentual sex is more of their fault because it takes two to make a mistake. It obviously was the girl who chose to drink, which she did, and the guy was not funnelling the booze down her gullet. She drank herself, which was quite illegal. So, what if those mature girls who went out and found someone to fuck them were the ones who got arrested and sentenced? I mean, it’s statistics. If a slut goes out, gets hammered, and waits for someone to charm their drunk, ditzy selves into bed, which someone will do, then apparantly they should be arrested because they were the ones who consented to have the sex.
March 14th, 2007 at 12:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 469965d0b0222
My personal experiences with high school girls has made me firm in my wish to never have a daughter. I would probably walk out of the hospital room for a breather if i ever hear the words “congratulations, it’s a baby girl”… Sometimes I wonder why the doctor even congratuates such unfortunate fathers.
March 14th, 2007 at 12:30 am - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
Classic.
-Dick
March 14th, 2007 at 3:30 am - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
It’s obvious girls/women can’t be accountable and they should have someone watching and guiding their every move. I think Islam has the idea.
March 14th, 2007 at 4:08 am - IP Man-Hash: 0dc060b16a9bd
I agree Dave.
However, when I have a daughter, I will make sure she fears no one, but me. A good woman knows her place, like my girlfriend.
March 14th, 2007 at 5:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 8d87604c92686
Women are good for a couple of things.
1. Sex
2. Cleaning
That’s about it. Oh yeah, and they look good naked - did i mention that?
In truthfulness, i don’t hate women. But i loath feminists, they piss me off endlessly.