Dick’s Voicemail #17

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Comment by kenno
2008-09-07 09:33:27

you rox dude, i agree with you, womens are just to eb at home and make dinner for their housband, and do pleasure him, i am from bosnia,and man i for hard work and to get money for his own familly, and womens wanna just be as mna but they cant, i hope u get more supporters…

 
Comment by victoria
2008-09-06 05:24:55

haha! you think these are bad?! wow when you ask a woman what the worst, most ’stalker’ thing a man has done to them, thennn you will have a crazy story.

 
Comment by Josh
2008-08-20 19:11:32

Hey, i just wanted to say that the only reason why it seems that all Men agree is because it is the minority of guys who think Women are stupid that actually come, the amount of fucking guys that would not do this don’t come here or post because they have Lives in reality and not on the internet 24/7.

Time to break your fucking theory. The only reason i can see why women have never achieved as much as a man is because back then when Men got power first, they Repressed women for 1000’s and 1000’s of years. This does not allow girls to accomplish anything if we don’t let them do anything but cook.

Fail to realize that there are stupid girls out there, but there are stupid guys like you.

and then there are smart people who know what the fuck they are doing.

If you hate girls so much become fucking Muslim and go to Afghanistan.

Comment by King Wang
2008-08-26 02:11:34

Jesus Christ! Do they not actually teach world history anymore?

Josh, I would call you a fucking moronic Douchebag, but in this case, I think you qualify for “Non-Reading Stoofubartard Choob Nub”. MAJORLY.

Simple History for Simple ‘Tards:
(A)History does NOT depend on how YOU view it. It exists, it also exists that you suck, but the point is, just because you don’t like it Super ‘Tard, don’t make it NOT so.

(B)Women are stupid. We already know that. Take a Whine-Number, go line up to the left. The proof is: You. Obviously, a stupid woman made you, the stupid man, who posted a stupid post.

(C)Women were not repressed. Instead, women are weak, and therefore, cannot compete in any form with men the NATURAL universal arena. Therefore and hence (until the last century that is in North America) they were shoved to the side for things they COULD do, not things they could whine and WANT to do.

-(C1)- Extension to (C). This means, a stupid person with no skills who WANTS to fly a goddamn jet fighter is NOT necessarily the BEST SUITED to do it in reality, JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT TO EVEN AGAINST COMMON GODDAMN SENSE. That is why all women are Retarded Liberals too! Ha!

(D)Time to break a new crack in your asshole…….you asshole.

Wait, I already did that. You can’t fix stupid, and you can’t fix feminized men either. If you hate men so much, stop being a stupid bitch, and become a manly man…….

Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 23:18:53

King Wang, D) was correct as all hell.

Josh, it’s Oppressed not REpressed. And actually it was men that were mostly Oppressed throughout most of human history, not women. Men died, women had babies with the conquerers.

 
Comment by Since when
2008-09-01 03:00:09

did an Aggro become a manly man? The only useful thing I can come up with in your case is to put you into a cage big enough to dance around and to play Abba non-stop.

 
 
 
Comment by Victor Flaws
2008-08-20 15:46:03

I just have one thing to say, pedestrians walking anywhere, keep your eyes out for chick drivers man. The combination of cell phones, checking herself out in the mirror ALL THE TIME, and car dancing will end someone in her lifetime, its statistcally proven: Women scare me when they drive.

 
Comment by WomanHater
2008-08-13 08:49:14

Women are sensitive bitches! Fuck women!

 
Comment by stufgirlslike
2008-07-31 14:28:36

Dick you have single handedly destroyed any claims that men could possibly be better than females, with you as a man the argument is lost.

( Remember Dick does not want me to paste my URL)

Comment by CraigMac
2008-08-10 22:42:03

Well at least that’s one more woman that won’t procreate, that’s the way I look at it!

 
 
Comment by Zcaraveo
2008-07-27 06:39:56

holy shit i just saw your dr.phill thing
epic man
epic

Comment by M@Z
2008-07-31 05:50:24

maaaaaaaaaaaaann,
Just tellin you, watch what you drink, cuz believe me somone gon put poison o some shit in drink,
crazyass woman gone pullup wit 5,6 maybe seven shoutguns and shoot yo balls off, so again watch yourself,

 
 
Comment by TimKish
2008-07-21 19:10:45

Seriously Dick?
You should somehow procure your own Internet talk Show.

You are easily one of the funniest people I’ve ever heard.
You manage to be offensive and sexist, yet you have great diction and the stuff you say is so outrageous, it makes me laugh.

You book was one of the greatest things I’ve ever read.

Please, give this man a show.

 
Comment by Frank
2008-07-21 12:32:54

Your show is great Dick, I love it. Keep up the good work and the man billboard wil be there soon, that’s for sure!

Greetings from The Netherlands

 
Comment by devilsadvocate
2008-07-21 08:29:36

Ok this is freaky: A suburban Pittsburgh woman suspected of cutting open a pregnant woman’s uterus and stealing the baby has been charged with homicide, unlawful restraint and kidnapping, police said Sunday.

Source: http://www.thestar.com/News/World/article/464069

 
Comment by matt
2008-07-18 18:07:49

seriously. I said it once and I’ll say it again: REPRESSED HOMOSEXUALITY!

Comment by Hans
2008-07-20 15:21:34

So.. any other of your personal problems you wanna share with the intertubes?

 
Comment by george
2008-08-20 05:06:47

go troll somewhere else

 
 
Comment by F
2008-07-18 14:58:00

lol

 
Comment by Papillion
2008-07-18 10:56:06

Dick,

I just wanted to thank you for finally taking the power back from those godless crotch-bleeders. If it were up to me, I would totally cast whores out of my life once and for all, were it not for my intense and totally real heterosexuality. It’s there bro - YES. TOTALLY. Now it’s heart of the matter time. I just stumbled onto this website and it has rocked my WORLD!! I’ve fucking hated women (not gay) my whole life. I think it started when my single mother caught me secretly eating a whole roast beef in my room, which I had stolen. I am morbidly obese. From that point on I fucking knew that women were all just whores. My lady-loathing recently came to a head when my spacey and bewildered 17 year old girlfriend wouldn’t wear the Clooney mask to bed. I then swore off women for ever. The support I feel from this website will help me make it through until I can find another underage simpleton to psychologically abuse into submission.

No fat chicks,
Pappillion Beauchamp

 
Comment by Solomon
2008-07-18 10:14:34

Men solve problems so they hate women. Men go out of their way to help hapless women so they hate women. Men create a world of technological convenience for women so they hate women. Men don’t expect anything from women so they hate women.

As long as there are good men left in the world women will hate them because those men are better than women. No wonder they love their thuggy, abusive, bad boys. That type of man has no lasting impact on the world at all, just like a woman.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-07-18 06:38:36

irlandes said:

If a chimp could read, and a sign said NO CHIMPS, the chimp wouldn’t go there, because chimps are smarter than the women who come here.

What needs more said about this?

And, I can’t remember if they were chimps, but in some science magazine there were some primates that the females gave the males sex any time they got some bananas. And, they did it face to face, too. So, some of the primates are even better lovers than most American women.

You’re talking about Bonobo Chimpanzees. They are far less violent than Common Chimpanzees, and far far less violent than women. When a box is tossed into a group of Bonobos, they explore it, then fuck like, well, bonobos. When a box is tossed into a group of common chimpanzees they fight over it, fuckin manly. When a box is tossed into a group of women they screech uselessly, and then probably cry or something equally stupid. I wouldn’t know because only a woman would care to study the behavior of women, except that would require effort on their part, not something for which women are noted.

I wouldn’t be surprised if some chimps couldn’t be trained to cook better, as well.

Considering that women can’t cook for shit, amen.

One thing that has never ceased to amaze me is how many women who accuse men of hating women assume all women are pure saints, and any man who hates any woman, no matter how evil and vile she is, has something wrong with HIM. They seem to be so conceited they can’t imagine how many American women are basically hateful.

It is all a matter of language, men understand words, women don’t understand anything. If a man points out a fact, it means he hates women. If women say “I hate men” and then lie to demonstrate what has caused them to hate men, that’s ok.

The hate stems from self loathing. Men find it difficult to hate because we are such noble creatures, nearly to the point of deification. Women wouldn’t understand noble if it bought that a Parisian handbag.

 
Comment by Rawkstah
2008-07-18 00:58:08

Spiritual
spir·it·u·al

-Femadjective
1. a belief or notion, not based on reason, experience, or knowledge.
a. belief in or of the ominous significance of a particular thing, circumstance, occurrence, proceeding, or the like. See Also: Crystals; Harry Potter

2. certain strong agitations of the feelings actuated by experiencing lust, hate, fear, pain, etc., and usually accompanied by certain physiological changes, as increased heartbeat or respiration, and often overt manifestation, as crying or shaking: childbirth is a deeply spiritual experience.

3. (Psychology) a mental state in which a female may justify thoughtless or unethical behavior by eschewing archetypical moral standards: a truly loving God would want me to be happy.

4. (Psychology) a mental state in which a female may condemn archetypically moral behavior by imposing personal emotional standards: eating meat is murder!

-Rawkstah

Comment by CraigMac
2008-08-10 22:47:03

This is man-brilliance at its finest, rock on rawkstah. Women wouldn’t know Spritual if it hit them in the face and said to them “hey this is fucking spirtual!”

 
 
Comment by irlandes
2008-07-17 12:18:23

If a chimp could read, and a sign said NO CHIMPS, the chimp wouldn’t go there, because chimps are smarter than the women who come here.

As best as I can tell, there are many chimps who smell better than many American women. I am taking other men’s word on this, since my Mexican wife knows how to wash herself, and has never once smelled bad.

And, I can’t remember if they were chimps, but in some science magazine there were some primates that the females gave the males sex any time they got some bananas. And, they did it face to face, too. So, some of the primates are even better lovers than most American women.

I wouldn’t be surprised if some chimps couldn’t be trained to cook better, as well.

One thing that has never ceased to amaze me is how many women who accuse men of hating women assume all women are pure saints, and any man who hates any woman, no matter how evil and vile she is, has something wrong with HIM. They seem to be so conceited they can’t imagine how many American women are basically hateful.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-07-17 09:55:15

Rawkstah said:

Anyway, time for another word:

Love
loved, lov·ing…

-Rawkstah

I’m a man so I’m not going to quote the entire thing that Rawkstah said. You want to read it? Do the man thing and scroll up. Since we all know that women are banned from this site, we know that’s what you’re going to do. Of course, even the women that break the rules and come on here won’t know dick about scrolling up, because they know dick about dick.

Rawkstah, keep these coming. Maybe on the forums as well. Then you should compile them into a tome.

 
Comment by funktard
2008-07-17 09:41:02

haha love the show. Great episode.

 
Comment by Rawkstah
2008-07-17 08:54:43

SMash said:

Victoria I’d watch yourself. I’m going to hunt you down like a dog and fuck you until your knees bleed into powdered bone.

So, SMash, sumwon said u liek mudkips…

Anyway, time for another word:

Love
loved, lov·ing

-femnoun
1. the act of compelling; constraint; coercion.
2. the act or practice of engaging in sexual intercourse for money, favors, etc.
3. baseless or excessive suspicion of the motives of a mated male.

-femverb
4. to follow or observe (a man) persistently, especially out of obsession or derangement.
5. to crave and consume (carbohydrates) persistently, especially out of derangement or boredom: she loves dipping chocolate doughnuts in her cookie dough ice cream cake.

—femidioms
6. “because he loves me,” an excuse for repeated physical assault or other anti-social male behavior: he beats me because he loves me.
7. “I love my child/children,” an excuse for poor mothering, frequently offered up at arraignments, funerals, and the episodes of Maury with the really awesome corpulent babies: I may not be the best mother in the world your honor, but I love my child.
8. “my first love,” the first of many men with whom a woman may refine her prostitution skills.

-Rawkstah

 
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