Fat Girls Are Obsessed With Marriage
Fat girls are obsessed with marriage. Their big fat mindsets are warped around the concept of “get all you can”, like a lumped wad of peanut butter and jelly sandwich around the Star Wars thermos inside your lunch box.
For a woman, marriage is an all you can eat buffet of free shit. The ring goes on and the wish list starts cranking out like a broken fax machine; each request more undeserved than the last.
The fatter they are, the more they want their docking-pass to that buffet. Remember that inside every skinny girl, there’s a fucking behemoth just dying to get out.
The biggest fear of every married man is going to bed next to a prom queen and waking up next to a blue ribbon sow.
I get my bacon from the butcher, thank you very much.
How Fat Can She Go?
A great way to tell how fat your future spouse is going to be, is by gaging just how obsessed she is with your wedding. If she can’t go a day without mentioning it, expect a spare tire. If she can’t go a meal, expect a spare truck tire. If she can’t go ten minutes without fiddling with her engagement ring, you’d better stock the Bridal Suite with a few cartons of Tasty Cakes and Ding Dongs. Otherwise, you might not get out alive.
Bridal magazines are also something to beware of. Women can consume entire trays of cookies while reading bridal magazines and not even have noticed. They fall under some kind of fat-hypnosis while looking at pictures of floral patterns and matching white flowers to white gowns. Wedding magazines are like activity coloring books for kids. There’s no words and nothing of any educational value, except with bridal magazines, the only activity that gets done is eating.
When a woman awakes from her stupor, only crumbs remain to tell the tale.
Every wedding planner adds at least twenty pounds to your future ex-wife’s girth; every limo adds two. Every time you have the “DJ vs band” conversation, you just put your 40-year-old self in the sack with a another chin.
Dick Tip
Here’s a Dick Tip for those of you confused enough to get married in the upcoming year. Just like you can put adultery in a prenup, your spouse cheating on you with her friends Ben and Jerry can also be grounds for divorce. Put a ten pound leash on her. Just because it’s on, doesn’t mean you have to yank the shit out of it. It’s called being honest and setting a precedent. When it comes to fatness, you need to start doing both as soon as possible.
Fat girls are obsessed with marriage in the same way poor people power the lottery. Being valued as a person is something a fat girl has given up on long ago. And why shouldn’t she? Even if some fat broad has just as much personal worth as she thinks she does, everyone would still rather have the skinny version around — even the environment would appreciate that. Rarely does one need to “weigh something down” in this modern world.
Fat girls power the Infernal Machine of desperation and hype that drives the wedding industry. Skinny girls don’t really need a wedding. They’re skinny. They can get free shit without a ring. Skinny girls only think they need a wedding because fat girls have been cramming the fantasy down their throats since the day they were born — as soon as they realized the donuts weren’t taking.
Fat girls are like zombies. They have no purpose but to infect all others with their fatness. Don’t leave your daughters alone with them.
If N. W. Ayer can make diamonds a key ingredient in marriage, I can make marriage something only fat girls do. All I need is a billion T-shirts and a silo of glitter.
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November 23rd, 2007 at 4:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 46de44d9caf39
Why should it be controlled? If it’s natural
December 3rd, 2007 at 1:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: d5c3c2292ddb9
Dude (Dick Masterson), I totally agree! I think that we sould kill them all, and be done with it after we get the the whole cloning thing down. Mass genoside. NOT. By the way, u free saturday night? lets have a sussage fest! cause i can seriously tell that ur gay. and the major issues you have with your mother are also self-evident.
Penis, Penis, Penis!!
Sucks-a-lot Penis-Haver
January 31st, 2008 at 6:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: c3ff8552f86ef
To the people on this board, did you know that female humans are the only species on the planet with an organ completely dedicated to pleasure?
Yeah. You’re jealous of them, homo. I really bet you are..
Anyway, my fiancee really doesn’t care what we do for our marriage. I’m happy. She wants to get married at civil hall, and go get coffee afterwards. She’s really not much for flash. =)
January 31st, 2008 at 6:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297
Another gay joke and another Mangina.
Rich.
- Sgt. Reyes
February 1st, 2008 at 12:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
@Zach- Did you know that female humans are the only species on the planet that cost more to have sex with than most of the race is worth?
The only thing these women dedicate jack or shit too is their time, my wallet, and their jewelry, which of course pleasures them.
Stupid fucking kids, stop posting in here. Next time, I call the cops.
Your bitch isn’t really much one for anything but having my kids, and I would suggest you check up where she has been, because I know damned good and well I was her at that TA Truck Stop in OKC last week.
Only ran me $15. Seriously. I wouldn’t lie to you.
She isn’t much for flash, but then again, after the divorce, you will realize you know why. She is making you save up now for her retirement after the court date, you fucking dillweed.
February 1st, 2008 at 2:55 am - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
Obviously Zach didn’t attend biology class.
February 1st, 2008 at 7:09 am - IP Man-Hash: d761e41a12dbf
You just proved Dick’s whole point. She’s probably fat and you’re a loser.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: b7e833cb32c93
OMG I need that shirt, where can I find one?!
February 14th, 2008 at 3:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
Click on it.
-Dick
February 14th, 2008 at 5:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1ace054919063
My sister is getting married. This is going to be her Bridal Shower gift ;D
February 15th, 2008 at 1:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 34a76056addc0
If I bought one of your t-shirts for my boys and sent them to school in it, I wonder how long it would take for the teacher to give me a call? School starts at 8:05am, so probably 8:15am. I should just do it…
February 15th, 2008 at 4:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
So you’d use - USE - your children and make them SUFFER just to prove a point. You are a horrible mother.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
I’m sorry about that last post, I must have taken it out of context. I now see that you were criticizing the school system, not placing your children up in some figurative mockery of our values. Ah well, we all make mistakes…
February 19th, 2008 at 7:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 3cb01c9d1eb4e
It’s alright Doubt. For what it is worth, I would not send any of my boys to school in that t-shirt. For the simple fact I wouldn’t want their teachers to have it out for them….
February 19th, 2008 at 12:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: e860c5b3790c4
Women have some dose of testosterone. Many women enver have orgasms. Those whores love the attention they get from being… whores.
February 29th, 2008 at 7:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2b947cfa3fe2e
and it makes me wonder…women have multiple orgasms, so who’s better? hmmm.
February 29th, 2008 at 8:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: bb1fb43bc3954
Seeing how research has found out that a woman’s orgasm is more of the mind shutting down then pleasure, I say men.
April 10th, 2008 at 6:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a0fdf86fed32
so true
as a result of pure boredom/alchohol i indulged in a harrowed fantasy of parking my cock in a fat chick, and her eagerness kept me around for a couple of weeks
i thought everything was okay until she “jokingly” picked a honeymoon destination and named our children
needless to say within a few days she wasn’t sure if i was still alive, and to this day i hope she refers to me as “the one that got away”… unlike any of her meals which never, ever fucking got away
maybe one day she can marry her self-esteem and become a skinny woman, then i might get back in touch and see what her hopes and dreams can do for me
ah, memories….
May 1st, 2008 at 6:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: c582593fbcdab
Well we inject women with testosterone in order to increase their libido and responsiveness during sex so what John said is actually totally true. I bet it is totally possible that John had zero training in this regard but his mantastic manbrain was able to deduce this secret of life. A woman would never have realized this fact unless a man had discovered it and told it to her…….this site never ceases to amaze me.
Men should NOT get married EVER. The mangina named Zach has failed to realize what a fucking idiot he is because if his “fiancee” does not care for the glitz and glamour why is she insisting that they get a legal marriage certificate? As we real men know, in order to have him by the balls until she finally decides to get rid of him and take away all his hard earned material possessions in addition to making him pay alimony and child support for the rest of his pathetic life.
Let’s not kid ourselves here. We men must INSIST that the legal marriage contract is absolutely OBSOLETE. This is the only way we can protect the future of the human species.
May 13th, 2008 at 12:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 53e574218351c
Hi All,
Wow….what a great site!
I will keep this short. I was a ‘true believer’ and I was with the one woman for 23 years, raised her two kids from a previous marriage, raised our two as well. As soon as that woman poped out the second baby it was “what, me work? why should I do that when I’ve got a man to work for me.” and she has refused to go back to work the last 14 years. She had an IT Degree and a great job in a global IT company on good money…and she quit and never went back to work again….she figured I would do the honourable thing and stay for the kids, and she was right…..
We have been in finanical disarray because of the expenses etc….and when I finally put my foot down…22.5 years too late….and cut off the money she promptly attacked my in the Irish court system wanted 100% of the marital assets.
The real ’surprise’ to me was that every single one of her useless woman friends is supporting her and I am just shit out of luck for all I have done for this woman and her two ungrateful daughters…even her own adult son has called her “the poster child for anti-femminism”.
One result of my experience is that I am committed to making sure young men everywhere learn two important lessons from my life experience, if they are willing to listen:
1. Do not get legally married under any circumstances.
2. Do not have a baby with a woman.
By having a baby you are handing over all your power not to mention most of your income for 20 years. If you want a baby, use a surrogate or adopt one and take 100% responsibility for the baby yourself.
And by the way, having raised 4 children I can tell you it is over-rated. My kids will not even pick up the phone to answer my calls despite the fact I earned and paid for every piece of food they have ever put in their mouth, every stitch of clothing on their back, the roof over their head and the education they will use for the rest of their life.
Learn those two things and you have just learned the two things that will make you more money than anything else you could ever learn.
I have made over USD1M in the last 5 years and there is not a cracker left. I have earned over USD130K every year for the last 13 years and at 44 the bitch is trying to leave me penniless despite me raising her kids and my own…and despite here refusing to work these last 14 years…..and not one woman thinks there is anything wrong with this picture….
THAT is how disgusting these women are…and every single one of them is the same (except your mum and mine)….
And a site like this is a great place for a man who was ‘one of the best’ who got screwed over and was not assisted by one woman to post and warn young guys just do not go down the same path…..
Indeed, go and get the snip to make sure no woman can put holes in the condom and get babies by you.
Yes…I was stupid to believe that I might be paid some respect for what I had done these last 20 years….I got none…and those young men who read this….you have been warned…do not make my mistake……you just got USD1M worth of advice…I recommend you use it!!!!