Fat Girls Are Obsessed With Marriage
Fat girls are obsessed with marriage. Their big fat mindsets are warped around the concept of “get all you can”, like a lumped wad of peanut butter and jelly sandwich around the Star Wars thermos inside your lunch box.
For a woman, marriage is an all you can eat buffet of free shit. The ring goes on and the wish list starts cranking out like a broken fax machine; each request more undeserved than the last.
The fatter they are, the more they want their docking-pass to that buffet. Remember that inside every skinny girl, there’s a fucking behemoth just dying to get out.
The biggest fear of every married man is going to bed next to a prom queen and waking up next to a blue ribbon sow.
I get my bacon from the butcher, thank you very much.
How Fat Can She Go?
A great way to tell how fat your future spouse is going to be, is by gaging just how obsessed she is with your wedding. If she can’t go a day without mentioning it, expect a spare tire. If she can’t go a meal, expect a spare truck tire. If she can’t go ten minutes without fiddling with her engagement ring, you’d better stock the Bridal Suite with a few cartons of Tasty Cakes and Ding Dongs. Otherwise, you might not get out alive.
Bridal magazines are also something to beware of. Women can consume entire trays of cookies while reading bridal magazines and not even have noticed. They fall under some kind of fat-hypnosis while looking at pictures of floral patterns and matching white flowers to white gowns. Wedding magazines are like activity coloring books for kids. There’s no words and nothing of any educational value, except with bridal magazines, the only activity that gets done is eating.
When a woman awakes from her stupor, only crumbs remain to tell the tale.
Every wedding planner adds at least twenty pounds to your future ex-wife’s girth; every limo adds two. Every time you have the “DJ vs band” conversation, you just put your 40-year-old self in the sack with a another chin.
Dick Tip
Here’s a Dick Tip for those of you confused enough to get married in the upcoming year. Just like you can put adultery in a prenup, your spouse cheating on you with her friends Ben and Jerry can also be grounds for divorce. Put a ten pound leash on her. Just because it’s on, doesn’t mean you have to yank the shit out of it. It’s called being honest and setting a precedent. When it comes to fatness, you need to start doing both as soon as possible.
Fat girls are obsessed with marriage in the same way poor people power the lottery. Being valued as a person is something a fat girl has given up on long ago. And why shouldn’t she? Even if some fat broad has just as much personal worth as she thinks she does, everyone would still rather have the skinny version around — even the environment would appreciate that. Rarely does one need to “weigh something down” in this modern world.
Fat girls power the Infernal Machine of desperation and hype that drives the wedding industry. Skinny girls don’t really need a wedding. They’re skinny. They can get free shit without a ring. Skinny girls only think they need a wedding because fat girls have been cramming the fantasy down their throats since the day they were born — as soon as they realized the donuts weren’t taking.
Fat girls are like zombies. They have no purpose but to infect all others with their fatness. Don’t leave your daughters alone with them.
If N. W. Ayer can make diamonds a key ingredient in marriage, I can make marriage something only fat girls do. All I need is a billion T-shirts and a silo of glitter.
Related Articles:
Pages: [10] 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 » Show All
These whimmin are beyond a joke! Fat or thin!
“All men are assholes!”
No all men are assholes to YOU!
“All men cheat!”
No all men cheat on YOU!
“All men are selfish!”
No all men don’t care about YOU!
“All men are useless!”
HELL NO! All men don’t want to give you anything or invest their energy into some pussy not worth his salt and that’s YOU!
‘All men are insensitive or emotionally unavailable!’
No EMPATHY is a MALE trait! And we reserve emotions for things we actually care about and that sure as hell ain’t YOU!
All these statements boil down to one thing. If YOU were worth it and not expecting all these HAND OUTS because that’s what they are then you would NOT be saying it in the first place!
Men > Women.
And fat black broads believe classically handsome black lads such as myself should date them!!!!(FAT CHANCE UNTIL YOU LOSE 150+ LB., AND YOUR B***HY
ATTITUDES,PORKERS!!!!)
No wonder divorce rates are so high in America. We’re all getting divorces ’cause of such trivial bullshit!
Haha!
No no sweety.
Divorce rates are so high in America……
because you THINK it’s trivial bullshit.
Men are better than women is not a “trivial idea”.
its a REALITY.
Example:… there isn’t an Ameriskank in this country who is willing to pay child support for a child that is not her own.
95% of child support is payed out by MEN because Ameriskanks CANT (or WONT) even support their own children.
That’s hardly “trivial bullshit”.
Not even CLOSE.
Tunacan – 70% of divorces in Femerica are initiated by whimmin; and they make out like “champs” – getting HIS house, cars, children (90+% of the time she gets them, and often the courts won’t even enforce his visitation rights), vaginamony payments (even when she earns more than him, in some cases), and child support which is not always formulaic (yes, in some cases/states its arbitrary nature lets her live the life of Pat Riley on his “dime”), etc.
The “trivialities” you speak of on here are, in part, a manifestation of mens’ displeasure with the current state of fuckery in Western cuntries; and if you think the “spoils” of divorce are trivial – leave them with their rightful owner.
FatGirlsAreObsessedWithPhatMen
I am shutting this site down.
Dick Masterson=Dildo wearing a Groucho mask! http://www.maleenhancement.org/
Chris AND MarkEMark=Mr. Empty-pants
Chris=Mr. Empty-pants: http://www.maleenhancement.org/
You are an idiot. Please, kill yourself.
Thanks.
Thita, when YOU were born they should have SLAPPED your mother and PUNCHED your father.
Oh god, this article really made me laugh. Why do I get the feeling that whoever writes these articles is some fifty-year-old, bloated, out-of-work dimwit who resents his ex-wife for dumping his ass when she realized he wasn’t worth anything? Also, why does that same feeling pop up when I get to thinking about the morons who actually have so few brain cells that they AGREE with this trite crap? Probably because it’s true, if not entirely then mostly. Now, for my point: I found some teensy things wrong with this article. 1) Many women, fat and skinny, want to get married. Marriage is a symbol that two people are so in love that they want to be joined together for the rest of their lives, not an excuse for free stuff. Actually, most women don’t even want to be showered with gifts, only the shallowest of people go into a marriage for material possessions. 2) Just because your wife was enthusiastic about planning the wedding doesn’t mean that she’s going to randomly gain two hundred pounds after the fact! A woman’s wedding is her one day that she gets to feel like a real princess. To put in perspective, a wedding to woman is like getting into the NFL or baseball hall of fame on your conditions. And as far as weight gain, most women starve themselves before their weddings in hopes that they’ll go down a size or two which, in turn, shrinks their stomach so they have to eat less; face it, you’re more likely to have a thinner wife after the wedding than you did before! 3) Attacking a woman’s self-worth is one of the lowest things any man can ever do. Implying that a woman, or any person, is less important because their outer appearance is not the mainstream idea of beauty is the most foolish thing anyone can do. It makes you look like a complete and total ignoramus to be so unbelievably cruel and shallow to fellow human being. It makes one come to the conclusion that your loathing of marriage is not due to the discomfort of marriage, but rather that you have not been given any opportunities to attempt marry. And quite frankly, it wouldn’t be particularly surprising if it were true.
I hope that my comment has enlightened some of the slugs who visit this site. And for the record, I’ve been married to my husband eighteen years, I have two beautiful children, and I’m still a size 6.
No, your comment is full of nonsense and lies.
Completely false. Marriage has become a way for the woman to steal the man’s wealth. The divorce laws incite her to divorce him because she would get rich: She gets the house and the children, besides of his properties.
Marriage has become the main lie for every woman: They claim love to steal the man’s wealth. Every woman is materialistic. So, every woman cheats at her man when she speaks of love. This is a continual cheating. It occurs every second. Since there are about 31.5 million seconds per year, then almost every wife cheats at her husband about 31.5 million times each and every year.
Again, this is a lie. Most wives are fat.
You try to encourage men to get married so women can steal their properties.
Micho
Your comment also shows that you know Dick to be right. “I think the lady doth protest too much”. And probably eats too damn much, too. Gross.
Guys, guys! Don’t EVER argue with a woman. You’re just giving them the attention they want.
Ignore them, and go on about your manly business.
I hope Dick modifies posting so only registered members who are ALL men can post.
fucking 14 yr old cunts. go back to doing your homework! this is an adult site twats!
ok ok here’s the thing
kay and i are both 14 years old. we have issues concerning ur website……especially ur comments on ‘fat’ women. Donna is not fat! and if u dont hate women ….. u just prefer men (as said by you in your interveiw) then why would you say that! Yes you have freedom of speech … but so do women and no matter what u think …WOMEN DO HAVE THE VOTE! WOMEN ARE EQUALS AND ANYTHING MEN CAN DO…..WOMEN CAN DO BETTER! (apart from sports) :L can men have babies……no. can men have multiple orgasims….no. can men multi task …..no (its actualy a scientifical fact .. women have something in their brain that men dont have) name one thing men can phsically do that women cant apart from wanking
moving furniture…
scientifical, you say?
orgasims, you say?
Go back to eighth grade and learn how to spell.
You’re just making women look worse, Jesus.
This, coming from a woman.
*WOMEN ARE EQUALS AND ANYTHING MEN CAN DO…..WOMEN CAN DO BETTER! (apart from sports) *
Sports are just another statistic.
wait I retract that statement, not all men are shallow. Dick and his band of loose tooth shoe shiners are
Women are more shallow than men. If a man said “i will love you as long as you remain lovable – but I will NEVER marry you”… a woman would leave.
That’s fucking shallow.
“Does my ass look fat in these pants??”
Fucking shallow.
“Where you checking out that other girl? you cheating asshole”.
Fucking shallow.
“I can never own enough jewelry”
Fucking useless AND shallow.
….. and the endless list goes on.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
I have never said any of those things,
you on the other hand
do my biceps look big in this shirt
why were you talking to him, do like him do you want to fuck him are his biceps bigger then mine
I can never own enough watches
fucking boring and shallow
and your endless list stoped at 3
also its more shallow for a man to stop loving a woman because she gains some wieght then for a woman to want pants that she likes
She’s just like any other young girl – she’ll say “I hate you!” while you fuck her in the ass. Well, how’d her sphincter get violated in the first place?
Shallow? Men? No fucking way are men shallow!
You wouldn’t be called shallow for thinking that a dildo was ONLY A DILDO and nothing more.
You wouldn’t be called shallow for thinking that a nail polisher was only for polishing nails and nothing more.
So therefore, it is NOT shallow for thinking that WOMEN are nothing more than HOT ASS, SEX OBJECTS and/or CUM BUCKETS because that’s all they have ever PROVEN to be!
Men > Women.
men are shallow
I don’t take what women say seriously. They aren’t creative or intelligent – just stupid parrots.
Hey ! I am Javed from Pakistan; I am loving, caring, Honest, Open minded, Romantic and True. I want make a Serious Relationship (Married) B-coz everybody Insincere hole over the world and my dreams is Small & Happy family. So will you make me Serious Relationship? B-coz I want to marry in your country, I am waiting for you reply. Javed Iqbal (mj_ikhan@hotmail.com)
Javed
Don’t bother mate, Anglo-American women are all racist, anyways.
Hey! I knew I recognized you. You’re just the type of guy American whimmin “take to the cleaners” (you weren’t hoping it was the laundry they brought there anymore – were you!?).
FatOrFlat-TheirObsessionIsTheirPaydayAtTheEndOfTheMMMarriage!!!
As a fat chick, I must be the exception to the rule as I don’t want to get married, and have no interest in ever getting married, unless a very obvious reason presents itself like a shot gun to the head. But then again I’m not like most girls, fat or thin.
You sound really unique and classy. Let’s meet up.
And by unique and classy, I mean fat.
Oh, and by Let’s meet up I mean STFU.
It’s not that you don’t like to get married. It’s just that no one likes to marry you. Stop lying to yourself, and maybe then you could muster enough self-loathing to hit the fucking treadmill.
Oh fuck. Fat AND lazy. She pretends she “won’t marry unless a reason is pointed at her head”.
That’s an American woman for you.
Doesn’t give a SHIT about being attractive, does NOTHING, but still thinks there’s a hope in hell of some sucker who is willing to FORCE her fat ass up to the altar.
Have another donut.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Becasue they want to get out of that god forsaken country. One of the only ways out is to marry some sucker in the US. Works the same in any 3rd world country.
wow. there are some very angry people here. they say that hate is like drinking poison and expecting the fat girl to die. a toast to the hatred and rage here- i hope all of you find healing.
Ugly men hate women……
And what do ugly women hate? I’m sure you can tell us…
Ha Ha! Smoke that Vagrath666!
I will keep it short!
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you insist. I’ll be waiting.