You’re Not Pregnant? I Don’t Believe You
It’s impossible to know which gender is the fatter. Mostly because women are so good at concealing additional bulk.
No, of course I’m joking. That’s not true at all. A large woman trying to cover herself up always ends up looking like a couch with one of those old lady doilies thrown on the top. Is that a big fat couch over there? I didn’t notice because of that dainty little scrap of lace on top.
Loss of a dozen Man Points for using the word ‘dainty’ I know, but my point is that in the case of weight, there’s no way to know if men are better than women at not becoming fat, or if men are better than women at being fat. Let me explain.
Scientists have never been able to agree on what is considered “overweight” for women. For men it’s a body mass index of 25%. Period. And we men have to deal with that. But for women, there’s all kinds of shit involved. What a surprise right? A simple process of determining a status of “overweight” and there’s all kinds of bullshit involved. Is it a BMI of 30%, 33%, 35%? No one knows. What nutritional scientist do know, however, is that if they ever reach a verdict, they will all be immediately kicked in the nuts by a billion angry, sensual women.
I say we just adopt woman-kind’s scale for itself. From now on, an overweight woman is one with a body mass index of over 75%. As a man, that’s how you have to fix problems with women sometimes. You gather all the evidence, you make logical conclusions out of it, and then you throw it right the fuck out the window, start signing checks, and believing there’s a Santa Clause. That’s not surrendering or getting beaten; it’s called having better fucking things to do with my time.
So men are fatter than women on average. Bit fucking deal. With all the practice, that means men are also better than women at being fat. Think about it. Does anyone even notice when a man is hugely fat? Men certainly don’t give a shit — and women give less of a shit. Jack Black gets laid all the time I bet — and that fucker is enormous.
The greatest men in history have been larger than life — the richest also. The most powerful warlords in the world? Oh you better believe they were big fat, fat guys. That’s because as a man, being fat is like a source of extra man power. It’s like driving an awesomely powerful car or wearing a giant watch or a man ring. It’s a multiplier.
I think I can sum it up with one craptastic line: Big is Beautiful.
I’ve heard that out loud probably twice in my life — both times from a woman, and each time I threw up immediately. Curvaceous, sensual, comfortable — it’s all the same shit. It means one large broad with a chip on her shoulder the size of the chocolate chip in her wildest fantasies. But what about jolly or party animal? Those mean fat too, but they’re not the same at all.
See, when a man is fat, he just gets a hell of a lot funnier. It might work the same way for women, but no one would know because funnier times not funny at all is still zero funny. Men are like eye doctors — and also a little bit like used car salesmen.
“Don’t want a fat guy? How about a funny guy? Maybe a snappy dresser or a guy with a beard? Better here or here? How about now? What do I have to do to get you with a fat guy today?”
Women, however, take their inadequacies and shove them right down your throat until you think you’re choking on sugar sweet bullshit. All women should take a lesson from Kirstie Alley who said it best on Oprah.
“I looked in the mirror one day and said, who would want to have sex with that?”
Or something like that, I don’t remember exactly what. That was her point though. And for her public baby steps, Kirstie Alley is this month’s MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month. Cheers, you great big tub.
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Why the obsession with someone being fat? Dick et al. would do better to look at the ugliness of their own Hell-bound souls.
There is no such thing as Hell, Henrietta. Snap out of it. Go try your scare tactics someplace else. We’re not buying.
That’s Satan’s deception “there’s no Hell”.
Indeed Satan tries to lull us into doubting that Hell is real. How foolish to follow Satan.
Why the obsession with someone being fat? Dick et al. would do better to look at the ugliness of their own Hell-bound souls.
To hell with the hatred, what disgusts me is the prolific use of improper grammar and spelling! I mean Jesus people, don’t you have spell check?! That goes for the men and women alike; If any of you want to be taken seriously even in the slightest please remedy this! If you’re going to hurl empty curse words at one another at least spell them correctly.
scarlette: yup, spelling is the thing we should all concern ourselves with
fat men are not cute……
men compensate with humor.
dainty is word……
Something I have noticed over the years is that fat chicks eat in large quantities, they choose foods that are higher in fat and carbs, and they eat very fast. They do this for one reason; it feels good to gouge themselves on as much food as possible. For most of human history abundant food was not the rule so this is something that is hard wired into women. I have seen all kinds of games they play to disguise this but it is the simple truth.
Here in America we have by far the highest percentage of fat women on earth. In other countries fat chicks are rare but here they are the rule. It was told but a Ukrainian exchange student who lived in America for a year. She said “You have such big refrigerators, you drive right up to the door of your house, you eat when you are not hungry, you food is pre prepared and too easy to eat, here in Ukrainian you have to go to bazaar get a chicken and get vegetables and then it takes work to prepare them and this takes time. She said here you tend to eat only when you need to.� In Ukraine processed foods are rare and expensive. The food would be classified here as organically grown. Fat chicks are very rare under 30 years old.
The solution for a fat chick is simple, eat less and exercise, but women cannot stop eating and are very lazy.
Women can’t stop eating and are very lazy because they’ve been brainwashed by feminist that men need to like them as they are, no matter if they are monsters.
Men want in women their bodies and that’s all, women want in men their bodies and brains so fat men can get laid but fat women are simply monsters that I can’t even look at.
FAT WOMEN ARE FUCKING GROSS
FAT MEN ARE FUCKING GROSS
either way it’d be impossible to fuck either one because their genitals are just swallowed in FAT bleh!
But i think this whole article would have been better sumarised by the peter griffin quote “Lois, fat men aren’t fat, only fat women are fat.”
Actually fat men generally have class. They may not be pretty but they make up for it in one of three ways:
1. Being fuck all funny.
2. Having money and dressing dapper.
3. Having big hearts and helping people.
What do fat women have that makes them disgusting? Fat? No, rotten personalities. And your quote is true. Fat men aren’t fat, only fat women are, because fat women expose their rotten personalities via their fat. A fat man is likewise an expression of his personality. BIG mind, BIG heart, BIG fuck all take over the world attitude.
Let me guess heather, you are fat aren’t you?
hahaha that was great! I think the least a woman can do is stay thin and made up for her man considering he does absolutely everything!!! Since I can’t make the money I’ll at least keep my body fit…these fat bitches need to shut up! Oh and fat men are bad ass because they are…..men
hey dick,
i hate to break it to you but in the real world, there is no such thing as “man points” you just sound ignorant and stupid.
And you’re just a stupid cunt.
Do you have a job? Do you honor your parents? Are you saved through Jesus Christ?
henry_westin@hotmail.com
Do you have a job? Do you honor your parents? Are you saved through Jesus Christ?
henry_westin@hotmail.com
What are you talkin about… sure there’s man points.. you just want to be so smart and reflected on life you fat hag
it’s in the dictionary, look it up
let me correct myself
I meant 2 powers. and you are still a bitch.
Well, you see your one and only power that can influence man is your bitching, and sex. Theres is no more to women, then bitching and sex to men. – Not even housework or cooking.
Typical example of women getting mad, and just making up random COMMONLY OVERUSED BULLSHIT to defend herself. Get a soul and a brain bitch. have you no shame?
[if there are a N word for Women i would use it].
Cunt is the word your looking for. Some overly-sensative women get really offended by it.
Sergeant? Dude, you’re not even fit to be a PFC.
J Lo’s got better legs. For me, there is nothing quite as compelling on this Planet Earth as hot Latino women dancing. Unbeatable.
i think j lo has a nice ass
Simply because there’s nothing more grotesquely disgusting and unattractive that a morbidly obese woman. Nobody wants to see that shit, not men, not other women, not even themselves.
Big is NOT beautiful, it’s fucking horrendously repulsive, and always will be.
then maybe you should shelter yourself, in a little apartment and never come back. Because you are pretty morbidly obese if i do say so myself.
haha
fatty
i bet she’s obese
J lo has a fat ass, no one complains there
why is there so much about fat women on this site?
Being a woman doesn’t automatucally make you fat, and even if it did, who gives a crap if they are fat or not?
Why does it matter?
In this blog post you have a point. I hate the fat broads who think they’re sensual or curvy too… Fat is fat, cellulite is cellulite. So, if you have fat, you’re fat. Beyonce is curvy.
Now, it’s hard to determine the BMI for women due to breast size, hence boobs are mostly fat. It’s not that hard, if you use logic.
….
Look, cursing at Dick is not going to make him think of women with more respect. Ladies: just do what i do and calmly tell him your opinion. Dont make him feel wrong. This is America….he has the right to say or type whatever he wants to. Just please,if u really r good women….take my advice. (P.S. i kbow its not easy, but just try. Im a women, well, a female teen, and i still remain calm and keep my temper.)
and im not pregnant! Ive never had sex, and dont plan on having it until after im married and good and ready to have a child.
I would not vote for hitler.