Men Love Commitment
Since the idea of a dowry went extinct, men have been under fire from women for one thing more than any other: a phobia of commitment. Like stuck walruses, women scream that men have a fear of commitment; a fear that is childish and in constant odds with our biological impulse to screw anything that walks.
That’s bullshit.
Men love commitment.
Men commit faster and with more enthusiasm than any other creature on Earth. Every time I see a starving dog attack a bowl of food, I think of a man committing to something. Intense!
Marriage is not the definition of commitment.
A wife takes the same amount of commitment as a house plant. All you have to do is keep her well watered with money and in fifty years she’ll blossom into a ripe old prune. That doesn’t sound like commitment. That sounds like a chore.
Below are some man tasks I’ve compiled to demonstrate man’s love for commitment. But that’s not all I’ll be shoving up women’s ass. These things also show conclusively that men rush into commitments faster, with more zeal, and with a greater ability to live up to them than women.
Men are better than women at commitment.
Business
1.6 men start a business for every one woman who does the same. (1)
The first rule of running a restaurant is, “be there every night.” The first rule of running a business is, “think about your business every goddamn second of your life.” And starting a business is a commitment men make 60% more than women.
The business world is a world lacking in pink rubber iPod cases and purses big enough for dogs. The business world is also not built on failure or shopping all day out of a Williams-Sonoma catalog. That’s never made anyone but Williams-Sonoma rich and I’m not even sure he’s a real guy.
The Army
Women make up 15% of the Army (2)
An average of 15% of the Army, Navy, and the Marines, has been infiltrated by America’s lesser half.
As far as commitments go, marrying Uncle Sam is a lot like marrying a woman. Except with Uncle Sam, there are no presents, no honeymoon, and no one starts saving for college when some dick head in a turban launches a mortar shell up your ass.
Congratulations, soldier. It’s a boy!
If men are so afraid of commitment, then why are they joining the world’s combat forces like war has a pair of tits?
The army proves men are better than women at everything. Men are emotional even though women say we’re not, men are not afraid of commitment when commitment needs doing, and if you don’t like that, the army will defend your right to do so. A woman would never do that.
The Wage Gap
Women earn an average of $0.74 for every $1 earned by men. (3)
Fuck the wage gap. Mexican day-laborers get paid a fraction of what licensed, unionized contractors do, and what happened there? Mexican day-laborers replaced unionized contractors whenever possible.
The key words there are “whenever possible”.
Women employees cost 25% less than male employees — and they have boobs. Since this is America and not Candy Land, where basic economic principles no longer apply, that means only one thing: female workers must replace male workers whenever possible.
They do. Female workers replace male workers whenever possible.
Female workers replace male workers when answering phones and baby sitting children in day care. Female workers replace male workers when teaching children shit they will never need outside of watching Jeopardy and understanding the jokes on the Daily Show. Female workers replace male workers when men haven’t invented a robot who can do the job for free and without calling in sick because of their robo-period.
Female workers replace male workers whenever a commitment to competence isn’t needed. The wage gap proves men love commitment. We’ll invest the time it takes to be needed.
Investments
“Many women tend to neglect their financial and retirement planning. By ignoring their financial and investment education today, they seriously jeopardize their financial security later in life…” - David Braze, Financial Expert
When it comes to making investments, women don’t do it. They can’t be bothered to commit to their own financial stability because they have vaginas, and women think a vagina is the only financial stability they need.
Vagina futures, however, are unlike oil futures and myself. Vagina futures go down. And they start around 23.
Even women who do invest are scared shitless of it. In fact, women are 50% more risk averse than men. That means women will choose inaction over action 50% more often simply because they are terrified of their choice being wrong.
Terror is never a good business decision. It’s not a decision at all.
Women save 75% less than men in their pensions, 50% less in their 401k’s, and are way less likely to know how much money they’ll need after they retire. (3)
That makes sense. If women treat retirement like they treat clubbing, let’s just say it’s a good thing they’ll be able to remove their teeth.
Being Awesome
Sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. Sometimes that means jumping the Snake River Canyon on a jet powered motorsled. And sometimes that means drinking a bunch of horse sperm. Don’t watch Jackass: Number Two if that sentence made you uncomfortable.
Being Nicolas Cage takes a lifetime of commitment. Being Mrs. Jane Smith takes about six months of nagging.
Manclusion
If women had anything to offer, a man would sign a life-time lease faster than he could open a business or join the Army or buy a bunch of stocks. Women don’t though. Women are magazine subscriptions. They’re full of shit and they’re never good to pay for after a year.
Men are not in the habit of pissing our valuable lives away on pointless bullshit. Men are also not in the habit of tying our dicks in a noose because some sweet looking girl smiles at our jokes for a week and gives a good BJ.
That’s not called commitment. That’s called being psychotic.
Man-bliography:
1. Business
2. War
3. Old Broads
Related Articles:
April 4th, 2008 at 2:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 9342b2aa308e5
Kelly is perfectly correct. Your assertion that women have less money stands in contrast to US and EEC research which demonstrates that women are responsible for eighty percent of discretional spending. That’s right. They’re spending it on trinkets rather than shares.
April 5th, 2008 at 1:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: ba7bb1fa66a2a
Awoemans still here blabbering nonsense?
Maybe she needs to visit her local mall to see how committed women are busy ‘investing’ in the shoe and handbag futures market.
April 7th, 2008 at 12:10 am - IP Man-Hash: 105b9136f157d
Men may love commitment, but you just love attention and money. So you are nothing but a whore. You are not a man, just a piece of slime.
April 8th, 2008 at 2:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 9342b2aa308e5
Men are commitment. Women demonstrate their attitude to commitment by initiating eighty percent of divorces.
A womans idea of commitment is that the man gives her, and her alone, everything. That is not commitment. It is avarice.
Throughout history men have demonstrated commitment and loyalty by laying down their lives to create the freedoms you now enjoy. Look around you. EVERYTHING you see is an invention, or creation, of men. Mens’ passion. Mens dedication. Mens sweat and blood.
When a woman demands commitment she is demanding attention be devoted solely to HER. When a man demands commitment it is to the greater good for all. Mens commitment has given us civilisation. Womens commitment MAY have given us grass huts.
April 8th, 2008 at 1:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7dc04fff3c919
Dude, you’re fuckin’ awesome. Keep it goin’ man. Love this stuff.
April 8th, 2008 at 3:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6187ac586e0db
Do you like ever get laid? Or would it be too demeaning to you have sex with a pathetic, stupid, whorish woman?
April 8th, 2008 at 6:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: d58a8c42c55fe
Wow, I’ve been reading this forum MOSTLY in jest, but damn… that last line really hit home. So true.
April 8th, 2008 at 11:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: f26cfffd2c859
I think that this website is a good place for frustrated pansies to come get their rocks off by web-arrifically masterbating each other’s egos.
I know that men and women shouldn’t be thought of as ‘the same’. I was in the Army. Had to wash out because of a medical issue, but still, women’s bodies are more delicate therefore I can see the liabilities this imposes on fellow soldiers. I didn’t want to come home, but it didn’t matter what I wanted. Its not an Army of One. That’s bullshit. You’re only as strong as your weakest link.
Men don’t know how to be men anymore, and society is to blame for this. To be honest, many women don’t know how to be women anymore either. What’s so bad about being different but useful in society/ the family unit? I don’t know. People don’t want to assume personal responsibility.
On the subject of men beating up women and why its wrong: I agree that its wrong because men are typically stronger. However, I’d rather get into a physical fight with a man versus a woman any day because women are evil, and will pretend to be your friend, THEN stick the knife in your back. Seems to me men are more honest about hating your guts.
My mother hated men, and so I was raised to not respect them much. I’m trying to change this within myself, but its a difficult process that will take a while to accomplish if ever.
[I think that part of us 30 something women being confused is because our mother's lived through the Sexual Revolution, and got all messed up in the head...so we never had a chance to be taught any differently.]
What do I know, though. I’m just a girl.
April 9th, 2008 at 6:10 am - IP Man-Hash: 582fb4b338d83
Well there’s hope for you somewhere, where you can POSSIBLY share a life with a manly guy and not make his life fuckkin totally miserable for him for being a man.
Most women have been taught to hate the men they know and need to rely on, yet are also taught to seek aid from strange wonderful men (officers of the court) who will then feel free to extort money on your supposed behalf while taking a big cut for themselves.
Your ultimate goal is to try to avoid feeding these parasites which intentionally have destroyed natural tradition and genetic reason for their own benefit and trained you gals to feel unfullfilled for being exactly what you are.
Respectfully submitted
Darrell Harb
April 9th, 2008 at 6:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 1f973dddd1655
I don’t know about that. In my area men get the job over women. My Husband always gets a job much easier than I do and he gets paid more! I used to be a mechanic. I was fired and when I was the owner told me that she wasn’t sure it was such a good idea to hire an attractive girl into a work place of that sort. I was the only female that actually worked in the shop. The fact is most male dominated jobs simply don’t want to hire women. If I wanted a job as a cashier or something than I have a better chance.
April 9th, 2008 at 11:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
A very good question…Can the Dick-meister this question?
http://www.womenrbetterthanmen.wordpress.com
April 10th, 2008 at 5:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 06136a8a5cd76
It seems all roads lead to Rome. Even your shitty little dirt track.
April 10th, 2008 at 8:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7178d6ae421b5
haha
Man this shit is hilarious. Keep up the good work.
April 11th, 2008 at 9:08 am - IP Man-Hash: b0fbeee8eec8d
Lol, why are women so goddamn stupid?
April 11th, 2008 at 2:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 284ad1b3029ee
I believe men and women are different, but I also believe that women can in fact prove themselves. But, then again, why should we? There is nothing in this world that makes us females so useless aside from the words of men who are getting frightened by the amount of women that are truly on the rise.
What’s wrong with a woman having power and authority?
You say it’s because we’re narcissistic, simple minded and only concentrated on manipulation. Well if you men hadn’t made it so hard to get on to the work scene in the first place, we wouldn’t have to manipulate. I believe that I have manipulative tendencies, but always try my hardest not to act in such a selfish, childish manner. You state that women are whores for not being the responsible ones and keeping their men around after they had babies with them, but yet you state that being controlled by a woman is the worst possible thing.
You state that logic is far more important than emotions. I often wonder why this is, because both thinking and feeling are two equal parts that make up a human being, we should ignore neither of them. All you seem to care about is getting somewhere, and you often state that emotions don’t get you anywhere, and as true as that is, it doesn’t mean they don’t matter.
To be honest with you, Dick, I think you more afraid of something you don’t understand because it is different from you. Women are different than men, and you don’t like the fact that their different, it scares you.. so it must be evil if it scares you and isn’t recognizable, am I correct? Whether I am or not, makes no difference. You are being indecently
childish. You seem to enjoy being the white man with all the power and all the money, because that’s all that matters to you, right?
April 12th, 2008 at 11:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 79a8f41fb2bde
Good for you. There is hope for you yet.
In total agreement with you. Women can, do and have proved themselves to be worse than men throughout history.
Sorry. Cant reply to that one as it made no fucking sense.
Since the advent of feminism and a womens increase in power and authority in the home divorce rates have soared, single parent families have soared and thats the one thing that you would think women would keep things together. Women are inherently selfish, bitchy and manipulative and you think theres nothing wrong with them having power and authority?
Please flush that feminist sewage out of your head and try a little reason. How hard was it for women to get their rights? I mean really?? Considering how violent men can be in order to retain power how many millions of women were gunned down, carpet bombed or locked in concentration camps.
The fact of the matter is that until the advent of modern civilisation the world was a pretty chaotic place and apart from the elites of society (in which women led a pretty comfortable life and did fuckall for their poorer sisters) the rest of humanity had a pretty shitty deal.
Even now, with ‘equality’, where do women by and large choose to work? The service industry, advertising and marketing, journalism, research and development, basically home-like environments most of which never even existed before the 1900’s.
Women stayed at home looking after children while the vast majority of men went off to do the shitty menial jobs that were available at the time, or farming, mining or fighting. The ‘professions’ of the time were only availble to the elites. There were no fucking shopping malls around and anything you wanted to wear had to be hunted and killed or stolen. If your house collapsed you couldnt call your insurance company and get it rebuilt. Law and order was rudimentary and if threatened you couldnt simply dial 911 on your mobile and call for help.
Now that men have worked, organised, fought and brought all the comforts that we now enjoy while women shock horror stayed at home, suddenly women want equality. If you cant appreciate mankind for the lifestyle that you enjoy today at least have the fucking decency not to accuse todays men of the imaginary crime of ‘oppression’ in which they played no fucking part.
Women are whores because they whore themselves for anything be that money, power, position, privilege or attention And apart from nuns they pretty much all do.
I honestly dont expect women to be able to get their heads around this, because if they could then they wouldnt be the emotional fuckups that they are. There is nothing wrong in having emotions but logic should rule emotions not the other way round.
Women are so fucking obsessed with ‘feelings’ that they allow their feelings to rule their thoughts.
We have always over analysed women. ‘Theyre a mystery’, ‘they’re so complex’, ‘we cant explain their behavior’. Because women are physically beautiful, we’ve been trying to explain their ugly behavior by looking for complexity, beauty and mystery where none exists.
Dick understands women perfectly. In fact I’d go as far as to say that most men understand women perfectly but out of politeness and chivalry we dont tell women what we think.
Most women are fucking delusional and are only prepared to accept a version of reality that paints them in a good light. I doubt if you will be able to understand anything I’ve written and if you can understand it, I doubt you’ll be able to accept it.
April 27th, 2008 at 10:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: d8d28a4af2457
Excellent post Geeza. 100 man-points to you for that prose.
On the other hand, aren’t nuns looking for the ultimate power, position, and privilege of all: to sit at the right-hand of the big man himself for all eternity. A perfect merger of ultimate selfishness and delusion.
This is a stroke of genius. This is why I LOVE discourse with a man. It’s a good thing that the more women eat, work, and fuck, the less physically attractive they become. That’s nature’s way of saying “stay away”.
Brilliant! Another 100 man-points to you. Perhaps the light bulb was the worst invention of all mankind. If we ran out of coal and oil tomorrow, and all electricity stopped, feminism as we know it would end within the week, society’s deadweight would die off in 2 months, and I’d become a fucking horse-breeder, make a shit-load of money, and have at least 10 wives.
May 6th, 2008 at 10:51 am - IP Man-Hash: 21fd11996a15d
They should never hit a woman with a closed fist, a taser, or any stick like object.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 3e8d1e2b2a4c4
Men should never hit women. Instead, men should brutally torture women to death.
May 15th, 2008 at 6:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: efea606e48954
Uh, Dick.
Did you know that men are biologically polygamous?
If you need proof (like all men do) just take a look at everyday society.
And you’ll find their cavemen ancestors were most likely the same, shagging everything that has a hole (human or not).
Stupid.