Pilot Error
Everyone has heard stories of people who decide at the last minute not to take a flight and then the plane crashes into a train or someone brought a pipe bomb on board or something like that and everyone dies spectacularly — everyone except the person who didn’t get on the plane that is.
Those stories are all complete bullshit and every man in the world knows it. They’re like ghosts and astrology and Elvis sightings; just a bunch of lame and obtuse fabrications of non sequitur minds that allow women to live their lives according to unreliable, intangible signs that only they can see or interpret. Like Groundhog’s Day in the dark.
Did the groundhog see his shadow? Who cares, I’m pregnant!
What is not bullshit is that I will do exactly that on one condition; I will refuse to take a flight at the last minute on one condition: if a woman is flying the plane.
The reason I haven’t missed a flight yet is because there are no women pilots.
Piloting takes a bunch of shit that women can’t do. Women can’t read dials or maps, they can’t communicate effectively, and they sure as shit can’t work a joystick — of any kind. In the end, however, its more than mere incompetence that keeps the wingless harpy known as woman tethered to the Earth like a sack of lard.
The reason is that women are afraid of greatness.
There’s an old and dumb saying that goes, ‘behind every great man, there is a woman.’ That’s true, but do you know what that woman is doing? She’s cowering in fear from the thundering applause and adoration that a great man receives — like a dog cowering behind the couch when the vacuum cleaner whirrs to life.
Women are afraid of success. That’s why they’ve got such a hard-on for teamwork, that’s why no one gives a shit each year when a new woman is inducted into the Women Who Have Made a Difference Hall of Fame – because they haven’t, and that’s why they don’t fly planes. Not because it would be criminally negligent; not because women make it two weeks into flight school and decide to become stewardesses (something that they are perfect for because it only requires a shitty attitude and the navigational skills of a Skiball thrown by the retarded), but because no woman ever looked up into the great blue sky and said, I wish I was up there. I wish I was something.
In the end women are the sum of their impulses; unreliable to the present, and intangible to history.
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This blog post is one of the best write ups on this kind of subject that I’ve ever seen. Men rule! Woohoo!
“There’s an old and dumb saying that goes, ‘behind every great man, there is a woman.’ That’s true, but do you know what that woman is doing? She’s cowering in fear from the thundering applause and adoration that a great man receives — like a dog cowering behind the couch when the vacuum cleaner whirrs to life.”
I believe this is untrue. From my experience, she’s behind him because she’s about to stab him in the back. Or because he told her to go back there and sniff his farts while the aforementioned thunderous roar covers the sound. That’s why men smile during applause. We know there is a woman back there snorting our ass air.
And damn grateful for it she should be.
almost every law on our books is a derivative of this idea.
There’s a bitch hall of fame?
I think you should add ’self-centred’/'persecution maniacal’ and ‘oblivious of their surroundings’ to the list:
Women love shoes more than taking care of their feet
Women think because they have breasts all men should give them gifts
Women assume men will allow them to go ahead in line waiting for the bus and get offended if they don’t.
Women generate more garbage then men ( tampons, maxi-pads, makeup, piles of “only worn once” outfits, etc )
Women proclaim “Anything a man can do.. I can do better” and your deity of choosing forgive you if you prove her otherwise for she will become an enraged beast and claw your eyes out.
Women have all the power of giving birth.. but only accept half the responsibility.
Women comprehend one example to eliminate an entire rule… example being: “I know of a girl who doesn’t like shoes.. so your rule of “women like shoes” is invalid”
Women react like they’ve been physically attacked if your opinion differs from their’s.
Women go out to bars even when in a relationship to get male attention to make themselves feel attractive.. yet attempt to cut a man’s genitals off if he talks to a female friend.
Women use PMS as an excuse to get away with murder
Women continuously sexually assault men and accuse them of being “pussies” if they protest
Women lie to you, yet expect you to be always honest and when you are you are called “cold” or “unfeeling” or “emotionally distant”
Women wear the most sexually revealing clothing in the most inappropriate of places and have the ability to have you arrested for
even commenting on it and still expect to gain respect.
That should do for now. :)
Narcissism and ego is a defense. Defenses are not impenetrable. Others may call this false pride or even just pride. Believing you are always right is evidence of both pride and ignorance. Inevitably, someone else will make you see that you are wrong and do not actually know it (you will hate this person but you should thank them), possibly showing you that you are actually the opposite of what your image of yourself is, and that will probably involve quite a lot of pain through wounded pride. People that are humble and respectful of others tend not to have to go through this. Specific enough?
Be more specific.
*raises hand*
I’ve never been a victim to a woman.
I just met some spectacular living examples of all my generalizations and until I meet the same number of women whom don’t live up to my generalizations… I will continue to generalize.
*giggle* Oh that’s right, silly me, I actually wrote it not realising that using a different name on a different page, amongst the millions of pages on the internet wouldn’t mean that I couldn’t be recognised as a poster on this site. Because some people – such as myself – are just that dumb.
I never mentioned a loving relationship, you are assuming, according to your own opinion that all men are victims of women. Which is position of victimization, I might add – which, again is ironic, because that is something that I thought all you men disliked about women – the fact that women can play the victim card with a bettter chance of being given sympathy than men can.
*sigh* this doesn’t have to have anything to do with gender. Any person who thinks they are infallibly right, all of the time, are wrong because nobody is perfect. Even the odds of chance would show that someone, no matter how learned, will not always be correct. Therefore, any person – whether male or female – who believes they are always right, give others an advantage in being able to lead or influence them through their blindspots.
No, it couldn’t be construed as sarcastic or rhetorical.
You don’t get to claim those as defence retroactively for the most egregiously silly claims and suppositions.
That is to read women as they are.
Bullshit. Betraying loving, gratuitous trust is not outsmarting someone.
Behold. The quarry tracks the predator.
- lemon jelly – pushy
Could the logical intepretation of my post be that it was rhetorical and smartarsey? Of course, you will never read me correctly when you only ever perceive women as either irrational bimbos or like children. Breaking News!! Women can outsmart men, especially men who think they are smart and always right, because those men just aren’t on their toes. They’re what we girls like to call, ‘easy’. As in, ‘targets’.
Could the answer possibly be that it was because he didn’t know he was supporting you?
CB, are you calling me out for trolling? because I’m sure I’ve seen your good self being a trolldoll on needstobeglassed. And if that is you, you have unknowingly previously supported me there, so why dont you do the same for me here?
Also, how like a woman to pompously flaunt their ignorance.
More pilot autonomy is called for. Too oft crashes occur through the controller’s sometimes inept instructions having been followed to the lettre.
Final decision should remain with the pilots following the collision avoidance system’s instructions, wherever available – it’s quickly become the industry standard, free from grounds for ulterior prosecution or administrative reprimand.
Indeed. Only a woman could surmise things are that way.
As an analogy, that would be tantamount to traffic cops driving your car remotely.
- lemon jelly – pushy
Okay, this is an old post, but damn…
You’ve got to be kidding me. First off, controllers are licensed and typically FAA employees, they don’t work for the airport, although some may work for private firms contracted to provide the ATC service.
Secondly, they don’t monitor shit — the equipment does. There are quite literally dozens of alarms that the equipment can raise (loss of separation, a sudden descent) in response to events. Sure, their job is monitoring, but they frequently don’t catch anything before the alarm is raised.
Which isn’t to say that they don’t have a hard job, stare at this for 8 hours a day, and you’d probably miss a few things here and there too:
(Denver [Stapleton] TRACON):
http://www.ctas.arc.nasa.gov/gallery/images/94_361_20.jpg
Remotely fly the planes? You must be a woman…
Fem, will you please stop the astrology bullshit, or at least take it elsewhere. You cant prove anything with it can you? Only a complete retard would assume that all persons born under a particular month act and think the same. Astrology will not find you the perfect partner, allow you to fall in love “at the right time”, nor will it reveal the winning lottery numbers or any other fancy, dreamy shit you can come up with. No self-respecting person has ever relied on astrology ever, because its utterly pointless.
No, destiny does not hold for me a gold box, lined with velvet, with the mystical letter “M” inside, like those stupid magazines say it does. A five year old could pick that shit apart.
oldone, thanks for the laughs.
With “women” like you around female it’s just not going to get any better either :(