MIT’s New Fall Courses: Prostitution 101

There was a time when women would stand on street corners for something other than prostitution. They would stand in droves and chant silly rhymes and riddles in the cold, burn undergarments — some would even hold signs proclaiming loudly to the world that women were “equal” or as “able” as a man.

It was a silly time to be sure, and it was also a much different time to today.

Women still stand on street corners for reasons other than prostitution (even though this particular one is dressed like one), but when they hold up signs they say things like:

“Need $$ for BOOB JOB.”

With that, please welcome November’s Honorary Man of the Month!

Sarah “B cups” Buckley is a role model for women — if women could have one of those, that is. Of all the possessions on Earth, the only one that a woman does not ever want is a shinny new Role Model. Women all think that they are born perfect. And that might as well be true because they’re not going to change a goddamn thing about themselves ever anyway, so fuck it. That’s why men are so much better than women, because we grow up idolizing role models like Batman, a dashing crime fighter; or Perry Mason, a slightly less dashing crime fighter. It gives us direction and makes us better people.

Recently, Miss November stood out on a cold street corner in some big city (I think Boston, but I didn’t her rambling article in entirety) with the sign I mentioned earlier in the hopes of raising funds that would better her quality of life. Now here’s the kicker: she goes to MIT.

See, this is what I’ve been saying all along. Education and especially higher education is completely wasted on women.

Besides, MIT? Isn’t that school all about science? Please. Step away from the chalk and put your hands on your head. You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.

How many degrees does it take for a woman to do the most significant thing she can do with her life: have a kid? It takes zero degrees. It just takes a half dozen men around to take care of all the difficult work, like delivering the baby and paying for a nanny when the obligations of watching a child watch TV become too stressful for a woman’s delicate sensibilities. She’s got a whole potential life to invent that she sacrificed for the child after all. And that takes work.

What Sarah “Not so Busty” Buckley has shown here is not necessarily courage in the face of adversity from a feminized society, but desperation against the very same — desperation for a future that is not pounding a round peg into a square hole (that’s a man’s job after all. I think we all know what I’m talking about), and desperation for the tools that will get her there; not a degree from some manstitution like MIT, but a set of jaw dropping jubblies.

Congratulations, Sarah. How oh how will you top such wacky shenanigans!

Read about being an attention whore.

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