If you’re anything like me, you have never asked yourself why a woman has never been to the moon because the answer is obvious.

Actually, the answer may surprise you.

The male instinct is a good one — it’s solid when the chips are down, and in this case it tells us men that women have never been to the moon because the moon is chalk full of science — like a robot, the natural enemy of womankind (both technology and robots). This is absolutely true, however, only true in the way that there are no unicorns underwater. Yes, unicorns cannot breathe water, but they also do not fucking exist. So what are we talking about here.

The real reason that women have never been to the moon has very little to do with their astounding ability to turn even the simplest of technologies into a catastrophic fucking unsolvable mystery on par with Stonehenge.

Remember the last time you were making some hot-hot jokes around a woman or womans, or the last time you were enjoying a cinematographic masterpiece like Die Hard 3, Payback, or The South Park Movie — or any other time that you were trying to mind your own fucking business?

Well what happened?

That’s right, said woman or womans ruined it with a torrent of shitty comments and/or nay saying. Perhaps something like, “Nicolas Cage thinks he’s so great” (in a sarcastic tone though. Nicholas Cage only thinks he’s so great because he’s fucking awesome), or maybe a “those are fake”, “you only think you’re funny”, or a “cigarettes cause cancer”.

Cigarettes cause cancer? No shit, I didn’t know that. Guess what talking any more during Face Off causes?

Can you imagine this manner of hijink aboard the USS Space Ship to the moon?

That’s why women will never go to the moon, because of their piss-poor, wet-blanket attitudes.

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