Manly Man Men: Stephen Colbert
I only had to watch the Colbert Report a few times to realize Stephen Colbert deserved a spot of honor among the Manliest Man Men of our day.
Please note this is not to be confused with the Manliest Man Men of all time. I don’t know who the third Manliest Man Man of all time would be. Maybe Ghengis Khan? Steve McQueen? Steve McQueen is like a super manly man wearing a kilt. He’s wearing a fucking skirt, but he’s so manly it’s called a kilt and furthermore it’s the basis for the whole Scottish culture.
The only way Steve McQueen could be more manly was if his name was Fairy McWoman.
Stephen Colbert is the third manliest man man of our day because he has never been wrong.
See, part of being a man is knowing and admitting when you’re wrong — and that’s never. No man has ever been wrong ever. A man may have explained himself poorly or spoken out of context or been ill-informed of the facts or been in a foul temper or probably may even have been drunk or dyslexic; the fact remains he has never been wrong. Let me explain.
Are the ancient astronomers retarded for thinking the Earth was the center of the universe? Are they wrong? No. First of all, it makes good sense if you think about it from their point of view. I wake up every day and that’s when shit starts happening. And it happens in my country which is the center of all my maps. Shouldn’t my planet be the center of the fucking universe as well? How many sons does God have?
That’s right. It doesn’t seem retarded at all when you think of it like that. That’s the key word there, “think”. Men think about everything. They hypothesize and weight evidence and postulate without getting their underpants in a twist. Women just kind of spin together words they heard on television.
“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
Yes. That makes no fucking sense either way.
“I’m my dog’s mommy.”
You are of a different species, madam. Secondly, all men are working toward the same goal of being right. In that way, all men are at all times one more step in the “right” direction. That makes all men right at all times and in everything they do. Women don’t collectively work toward anything except bringing more foul children into the world. That’s why crime rates are so much lower for single father homes.
Stephen Colbert has never been wrong and because he’s a man he never will be. He embodies that third most important principle of being a man; the giant collective man-force that moves worlds no matter which universe they’re not the center of.
Let me end on this, if someone is speaking French to you and you don’t understand does that make them wrong? Don’t be ridiculous. And don’t ever let a woman tell you you’re wrong. Her head is full of donkey shit.
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October 26th, 2006 at 9:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 01ba0fc07f53a
I could tolerate some face from commie Jane but Steinem? No, she could only kiss my ass. Colbert is kool.
October 26th, 2006 at 10:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 4c2d8987f00bb
If anyone ever refers to me as the father of an animal, I’m going to bury them both in my backyard.
October 26th, 2006 at 11:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: e25c405e0a0df
L-O-fucking-L
November 5th, 2006 at 6:37 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
Colbert will do, but throw in Jon Stewart & Dennis Miller and now you’re talkin’! Yummm…
November 5th, 2006 at 10:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Smrtpanties. Just can’t keep away, can you? Is that your callipygous ass there?
I think it’s time to put Luka out to pasture…
One track mind, eh?
Awful music, btw. Don’t bother checking your referers.
- Chitara Romana
November 6th, 2006 at 12:43 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
Indeed it is - I’m surprised that you even bothered to ‘go there’…with that magnificent diction of yours.
Sonyad, please to explain that allusion; are you saying that I’m a wide-load of a cow that…
One at a time, that is..
And what pray tell are more of your musical preferences. I make no excuses whatsoever for the eclectic array of my musical tastes and you must know by now how I love to beg…to differ…when anyone presumes to judge something so subjective; how very ridiculously silly of you.
But your diction makes up for it all…
November 6th, 2006 at 12:51 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
Oh yeah, btw, I believe it’s ‘Chitarra Romana’…and how romantic your taste in music is…
“Under a cloak of stars, Rome seems beautiful to me.
My solitary heart, disillusioned by love, wants to sing in the shadows.
A silent fountain, and a balcony above, oh, Roman guitar, accompany me!
Sing, sing, my guitar, let my heart weep.
With no home and no love, you are all I have left.
If my voice is a little veiled, soften your music, my
lovely Fornaria is no longer on the balcony!
The shores sleep while the river flows.
I follow it because it pulls me along with it, and carries
my heart.
I see a far off shadow, and a star up there, oh, Roman guitar,
accompany me!”
November 6th, 2006 at 1:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Quite. Except that it’s actually “Chitara Romană“. The filename was incidentally devoid of diacritical chars. Thank you for pointing that out. You’ll be happy to know it’s been corrected.
And the version I listen to is instrumental so thankfully bereft of those lyrics. I don’t think I could stand that mushy soup whilst adhering to my sanity. It’s beyond the realm of man’s powers, and thus, impossible.
- 4 Strings - Turn it around
November 6th, 2006 at 1:33 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
“…whilst adhering to my sanity.”
And by ’sanity’ do you mean that flaccid flesh flank you keep beating like a dead dog, after of course trying to teach it some new tricks…to no avail.
I’m glad that you still have your music to keep you company.
November 6th, 2006 at 1:42 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
You’re still missing an ‘R’ my precious prick! [In ChitarRa]
November 6th, 2006 at 1:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Nu cred. Mai citeşte, educă-te.
- Paul Oakenfold - Ready Steady Go (Album Version)
November 6th, 2006 at 1:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I see. Fallen back to mud slinging, for lack of a better, yet feasibly attainable, option. I can understand your choleric attitude towards me, but that insult directed at Luka seems awful cheap.
- Jean Michel Jarre - Oxygene 7
November 6th, 2006 at 2:10 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
I do apologize for any [mis]percieved disrespect toward Luka as it was only after I went back over some other entries that I realized to what/whom you were referring - that was never my intention and I hope that Luka will forgive me for not being as ‘on the ball’ as I could have been before blasting off that crap…I really was just trying to decipher where you might be coming from and besides which you’re the one who brought in the whole bovine motif in the first place!
When you made reference to my ass I just assumed that you were finding yet another way to describe me in an unbecoming manner despite that the word you used has generally positive connotations…
Thanks for the music links, I’m gaining some valuable insight to say the least…
November 6th, 2006 at 2:45 am - IP Man-Hash: a5d80956a3e6c
Ah don’t worry about it smrtpants. I really don’t take myself that seriously on here.
November 6th, 2006 at 3:50 am - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea
So kind, thanks Luka.
November 3rd, 2007 at 8:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 47e070fd87755
Who the fuck is this freak ass Colbert?
P Coderch
November 20th, 2007 at 11:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 43c7ff1fcae04
Colbert for President! I love the guy and even though he’s wacky and wierd, he’d be better than any of the other candidates.
December 3rd, 2007 at 5:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
I love Stephen Colbert!
I had caught an episode recently with the feminist writer, Naomi Wolf, sure that was a blast for you all
I know that it was old, I mean he mentioned that Andrew Meyers that got tasered at a Kerri speech in a Florida college
He is very funny though, I have read his book
December 28th, 2007 at 3:48 am - IP Man-Hash: fe3e8d0c5692a
Stephen Colbert rocks. He’s the most committedly sarcastic person I’ve ever seen, which is both wonderful and unfortunate since there are plenty of people who are unable to read between the lines.
April 8th, 2008 at 9:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 839398b767971
I love it all, you have such a way with your words!!!!