Manly Man Men: Stephen Colbert

I only had to watch the Colbert Report a few times to realize Stephen Colbert deserved a spot of honor among the Manliest Man Men of our day.

Please note this is not to be confused with the Manliest Man Men of all time. I don’t know who the third Manliest Man Man of all time would be. Maybe Ghengis Khan? Steve McQueen? Steve McQueen is like a super manly man wearing a kilt. He’s wearing a fucking skirt, but he’s so manly it’s called a kilt and furthermore it’s the basis for the whole Scottish culture.

The only way Steve McQueen could be more manly was if his name was Fairy McWoman.

Stephen Colbert is the third manliest man man of our day because he has never been wrong.

See, part of being a man is knowing and admitting when you’re wrong — and that’s never. No man has ever been wrong ever. A man may have explained himself poorly or spoken out of context or been ill-informed of the facts or been in a foul temper or probably may even have been drunk or dyslexic; the fact remains he has never been wrong. Let me explain.

Are the ancient astronomers retarded for thinking the Earth was the center of the universe? Are they wrong? No. First of all, it makes good sense if you think about it from their point of view. I wake up every day and that’s when shit starts happening. And it happens in my country which is the center of all my maps. Shouldn’t my planet be the center of the fucking universe as well? How many sons does God have?

That’s right. It doesn’t seem retarded at all when you think of it like that. That’s the key word there, “think”. Men think about everything. They hypothesize and weight evidence and postulate without getting their underpants in a twist. Women just kind of spin together words they heard on television.

“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”

Yes. That makes no fucking sense either way.

“I’m my dog’s mommy.”

You are of a different species, madam. Secondly, all men are working toward the same goal of being right. In that way, all men are at all times one more step in the “right” direction. That makes all men right at all times and in everything they do. Women don’t collectively work toward anything except bringing more foul children into the world. That’s why crime rates are so much lower for single father homes.

Stephen Colbert has never been wrong and because he’s a man he never will be. He embodies that third most important principle of being a man; the giant collective man-force that moves worlds no matter which universe they’re not the center of.

Let me end on this, if someone is speaking French to you and you don’t understand does that make them wrong? Don’t be ridiculous. And don’t ever let a woman tell you you’re wrong. Her head is full of donkey shit.

Related Articles:

Name (required)
E-mail (required - never shown publicly)
URI

RSS feed | Trackback URI

43 Comments in 39 threads.»

Pages: [2] 1 » Show All

Comment by Haha89
2009-10-01 13:48:44 - IP Man-Hash: b2a3745f0d705

Chris AND MarkEMark=Mr. Empty-pants

 
2008-08-10 13:44:37 - IP Man-Hash: 25fa8201bf430

OKAAAAY. Wow I’ve never seen such hate in my life. I am a fit girl naturally, (I don’t work out and eat all the junk food I want and never gain a pound) and just reading this made me sick. His views on women are RETARDED. It is muy obvio that he is an insecure little child inside and I almost sorta feel sorry for his poor ass :( I bet your momma is thinking “WHERE DID I GO WRONG? :’( ” BURN IN HELLLL YOU BASTARRRRRD! Ahahahah :) Love MUCHLY kiss kiss, LUCY THA BEAUTIFUL :] PS. DONTCHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAD SELF-ESTEEM LIKE MEEEE, DONTCHAAA? HEhe :]

ME= http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j130/luucer/?action=view&current=new hurr039.jpg

Comment by steve
2008-09-17 07:52:34 - IP Man-Hash: 09ca2ce5d6e91

steven colbert sucks

 
Comment by steve
2008-09-17 07:54:39 - IP Man-Hash: 09ca2ce5d6e91

colbert sucks what a rtard

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-09-17 09:16:07 - IP Man-Hash: c4135fee5883f

God damned girl. Is there any place on this site you didnt leave a pic?

 
 
Comment by dbossnirvana
2008-05-23 10:38:25 - IP Man-Hash: 436d0cc2678d2

Arielle said:

You know how I know that the man who wrote this article is obviously gay, is because all he does is talk about why men are better then women, it’s pretty obvious that he has a man crush and often wishes he was a women just to be able to have”relations” with a man…Yes I said it he is a closet homosexual he really really likes men better then women

Yeah, he probably lives with his mom’s basement, has a tiny pecker, and is a psychopathic sociopath who rapes little boys. Happy? Good.

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT OF THIS WEBSITE YOU FUCKING FAT CUNT DE MIERDA. No one gives a fuck about you or your “species”.

 
Comment by Arielle
2008-05-23 10:26:24 - IP Man-Hash: 11ac5239d14ad

You know how I know that the man who wrote this article is obviously gay, is because all he does is talk about why men are better then women, it’s pretty obvious that he has a man crush and often wishes he was a women just to be able to have”relations” with a man…Yes I said it he is a closet homosexual he really really likes men better then women

 
Comment by MiSoGyNiSt
2008-04-08 09:06:02 - IP Man-Hash: 839398b767971

I love it all, you have such a way with your words!!!!

 
Comment by Lindsay
2007-12-28 03:48:06 - IP Man-Hash: fe3e8d0c5692a

Stephen Colbert rocks. He’s the most committedly sarcastic person I’ve ever seen, which is both wonderful and unfortunate since there are plenty of people who are unable to read between the lines.

 
Comment by Karen
2007-12-03 17:46:33 - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c

I love Stephen Colbert!
I had caught an episode recently with the feminist writer, Naomi Wolf, sure that was a blast for you all
I know that it was old, I mean he mentioned that Andrew Meyers that got tasered at a Kerri speech in a Florida college
He is very funny though, I have read his book

 
Comment by retro
2007-11-20 11:30:58 - IP Man-Hash: 43c7ff1fcae04

Colbert for President! I love the guy and even though he’s wacky and wierd, he’d be better than any of the other candidates.

 
Comment by P Coderch
2007-11-03 20:15:27 - IP Man-Hash: 47e070fd87755

Who the fuck is this freak ass Colbert?

P Coderch

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 03:50:33 - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea

So kind, thanks Luka.

 
Comment by Luka
2006-11-06 02:45:22 - IP Man-Hash: a5d80956a3e6c

Ah don’t worry about it smrtpants. I really don’t take myself that seriously on here.

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 02:10:51 - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea

I do apologize for any [mis]percieved disrespect toward Luka as it was only after I went back over some other entries that I realized to what/whom you were referring – that was never my intention and I hope that Luka will forgive me for not being as ‘on the ball’ as I could have been before blasting off that crap…I really was just trying to decipher where you might be coming from and besides which you’re the one who brought in the whole bovine motif in the first place!

When you made reference to my ass I just assumed that you were finding yet another way to describe me in an unbecoming manner despite that the word you used has generally positive connotations…

Thanks for the music links, I’m gaining some valuable insight to say the least…

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-11-06 01:56:24 - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7

I see. Fallen back to mud slinging, for lack of a better, yet feasibly attainable, option. I can understand your choleric attitude towards me, but that insult directed at Luka seems awful cheap.

- Jean Michel Jarre – Oxygene 7

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-11-06 01:47:55 - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7

Nu cred. Mai citeşte, educă-te.

- Paul Oakenfold – Ready Steady Go (Album Version)

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 01:42:59 - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea

sonyad said:

Quite. Except that it’s actually “Chitara Romană“.

You’re still missing an ‘R’ my precious prick! [In ChitarRa]

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 01:33:22 - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea

“…whilst adhering to my sanity.”

And by ’sanity’ do you mean that flaccid flesh flank you keep beating like a dead dog, after of course trying to teach it some new tricks…to no avail.

I’m glad that you still have your music to keep you company.

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-11-06 01:21:21 - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7

Quite. Except that it’s actually “Chitara Romană“. The filename was incidentally devoid of diacritical chars. Thank you for pointing that out. You’ll be happy to know it’s been corrected.

And the version I listen to is instrumental so thankfully bereft of those lyrics. I don’t think I could stand that mushy soup whilst adhering to my sanity. It’s beyond the realm of man’s powers, and thus, impossible.

- 4 Strings – Turn it around

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 00:51:16 - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea

Oh yeah, btw, I believe it’s ‘Chitarra Romana’…and how romantic your taste in music is…

“Under a cloak of stars, Rome seems beautiful to me.

My solitary heart, disillusioned by love, wants to sing in the shadows.

A silent fountain, and a balcony above, oh, Roman guitar, accompany me!

Sing, sing, my guitar, let my heart weep.

With no home and no love, you are all I have left.

If my voice is a little veiled, soften your music, my
lovely Fornaria is no longer on the balcony!

The shores sleep while the river flows.

I follow it because it pulls me along with it, and carries
my heart.

I see a far off shadow, and a star up there, oh, Roman guitar,
accompany me!”

Comment by steve
2008-09-17 07:53:23 - IP Man-Hash: 09ca2ce5d6e91

steven colbert sucks my ass

 
 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 00:43:52 - IP Man-Hash: d4f09ff3cabea

sonyad said:

Smrtpanties. Just can’t keep away, can you? Is that your callipygous ass there?

Indeed it is – I’m surprised that you even bothered to ‘go there’…with that magnificent diction of yours.

sonyad said:I think it’s time to put Luka out to pasture…

Sonyad, please to explain that allusion; are you saying that I’m a wide-load of a cow that…

sonyad said:This is a giant cock
One track mind, eh?.

One at a time, that is..

sonyad said:Awful music, btw. Don’t bother checking your referers.

- Chitara Romana

And what pray tell are more of your musical preferences. I make no excuses whatsoever for the eclectic array of my musical tastes and you must know by now how I love to beg…to differ…when anyone presumes to judge something so subjective; how very ridiculously silly of you.

But your diction makes up for it all…

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-11-05 10:27:16 - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7

Smrtpanties. Just can’t keep away, can you? Is that your callipygous ass there?
I think it’s time to put Luka out to pasture…

This is a giant cock.

One track mind, eh?

Awful music, btw. Don’t bother checking your referers.

- Chitara Romana

 

Close
E-mail It
Powered by ShareThis