Manly Man Men: Stephen Colbert
I only had to watch the Colbert Report a few times to realize Stephen Colbert deserved a spot of honor among the Manliest Man Men of our day.
Please note this is not to be confused with the Manliest Man Men of all time. I don’t know who the third Manliest Man Man of all time would be. Maybe Ghengis Khan? Steve McQueen? Steve McQueen is like a super manly man wearing a kilt. He’s wearing a fucking skirt, but he’s so manly it’s called a kilt and furthermore it’s the basis for the whole Scottish culture.
The only way Steve McQueen could be more manly was if his name was Fairy McWoman.
Stephen Colbert is the third manliest man man of our day because he has never been wrong.
See, part of being a man is knowing and admitting when you’re wrong — and that’s never. No man has ever been wrong ever. A man may have explained himself poorly or spoken out of context or been ill-informed of the facts or been in a foul temper or probably may even have been drunk or dyslexic; the fact remains he has never been wrong. Let me explain.
Are the ancient astronomers retarded for thinking the Earth was the center of the universe? Are they wrong? No. First of all, it makes good sense if you think about it from their point of view. I wake up every day and that’s when shit starts happening. And it happens in my country which is the center of all my maps. Shouldn’t my planet be the center of the fucking universe as well? How many sons does God have?
That’s right. It doesn’t seem retarded at all when you think of it like that. That’s the key word there, “think”. Men think about everything. They hypothesize and weight evidence and postulate without getting their underpants in a twist. Women just kind of spin together words they heard on television.
“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
Yes. That makes no fucking sense either way.
“I’m my dog’s mommy.”
You are of a different species, madam. Secondly, all men are working toward the same goal of being right. In that way, all men are at all times one more step in the “right” direction. That makes all men right at all times and in everything they do. Women don’t collectively work toward anything except bringing more foul children into the world. That’s why crime rates are so much lower for single father homes.
Stephen Colbert has never been wrong and because he’s a man he never will be. He embodies that third most important principle of being a man; the giant collective man-force that moves worlds no matter which universe they’re not the center of.
Let me end on this, if someone is speaking French to you and you don’t understand does that make them wrong? Don’t be ridiculous. And don’t ever let a woman tell you you’re wrong. Her head is full of donkey shit.
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L-O-fucking-L
If anyone ever refers to me as the father of an animal, I’m going to bury them both in my backyard.
I could tolerate some face from commie Jane but Steinem? No, she could only kiss my ass. Colbert is kool.
well let the pussy whipped fag haters in government try and ban it no matter what they say about hatred in my country i will always hate women and gilbert godfrey and im more than willing to go to jail for what i beleive in besides in jail no one can hear her bitch.
indeed so true but he made them both kiss him as well, and thats some studly conqistador manpoints there, he got face from feminisms two biggest bitchs.
I heart Colbert.
For some reason, the wordpress software is inserting a garbage “×” character as the 5th last character that is ‘×’ rather than ‘x’ (note the subtle difference). If you replace that character with ‘x’, it’ll work. Perhaps you can fix the link, Dick; even typing it in it still gets replaced for me by Wordpress.
-wolfe
Hmmm… not very reliable. This url does work for me if I cut and paste it, but not if I click it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRs9R0×4e5Y
-wolfe
Ask and ye shall receive. Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto thee.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRs9R0×4e5Y
-wolfe
That’s the clip that spawned this article. I wish I still had the link that person sent me.
-Dick
Colbert ran some kind of show nominally on feminism. In a discussion of their new “feminist radio” startup, he managed (within seconds) to get Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda to show him how to make apple pie, and to stop talking about feminist radio. He got Steinem chopping apples, and Fonda kneading dough.
Now that’s manly.
-wolfe
“Ayrton Senna takes the manliness cake in my book.”
Couldnt agree more.
Ayrton Senna takes the manliness cake in my book.
A comedian?!
I must dissent!
Who the hell is Stephen Colbert?
We still don’t have hate speech laws in the US, and won’t as long as the profits that can be taxed from rich media companies keep rolling in.
this legendary site continues. I just hope authorities dont make a stupid exuse to ban it.
Good one, mean_jake.
-Dick
I say we make Colbert god-king and savior of our planet.
If he was at the helm, we would be the center of the universe again in no time flat.
and he could finally prove that yes, the earth is indeed flat, just like most of the ideas women seem to have.
Haha. Hell yeah. Colbert is indeed a Manly man man.