Still. Don’t Leave The Lights On.

Wasting things is pretty much the manliest thing you can do. Resources, women, food — hell sometimes I buy two lunches and throw one in the street just to remind myself of how brimmingly full my man cup is with macho maleness.

If you’ve never thrown a sandwich into the street, I highly recommend it. Unless you’re a woman. In that case you should eat it because no man wants to fuck a skeleton who can’t cook. Then do yourself a favour and hit a treadmill, you leviathan.

Wait for it. Wait for it. 3…2…1…

That shrill, donkey sound you just heard was a billion women shrieking their heads off at the idea of wasting fucking anything at all. I know you don’t need proof of that because all men know that the only reason a refrigerator ever needed cleaning was because of women. Take a woman out and she’ll save every goddamn scrape of food on her plate like a chipmunk with fucked up hair hording nuts for the winter. When the fuck and who the fuck is going to eat a fourth of a Cobb Salad? You can bet your ass it’s not going to be her because — another thing — women also won’t ever eat the same thing two days in a row. They’ve got the memory of goldfish when it comes to their fuckups, but their diet is like a snowflake. It can never be the same thing twice and it’s only beautiful in theory. In reality snowflakes are crappy, pudgy looking lumps in the gutter. I think the correlation is obvious.

Men don’t pull that crap. We throw leftovers away just like we throw everything away: Fuel, Relationships, Superbowls if we’re also the coach of the Raiders. That’s because men are about focusing on the future. We eat, we enjoy, and we move on. We don’t drink coffee and jaw-jack about that time we “empowered ourselves” in the backseat of some filthy Frenchman’s Peugeot on vacation two weeks after we got divorced. No we don’t. While we’re drinking coffee, we’re erecting things that can touch the fucking moon. Buildings…whatever.

Just like all men I know that you can never waste too much. What’s the downfall of wasting too much? If we men choose to waste all the gas on Earth, so the fuck what? We’ll just invent more gas or invent Flintstone cars or something. The point is that as men we don’t give a shit because we’re used to pulling the collective ass of our species out of the fire. We can do it in our sleep.

As a corollary, can you save too much? Can not wasting be dangerous? Is wasting necessarily better than hording trinkets and toys like a destitute carnival worker?

Let me give a great example of how reckless women are as packrats — besides the huge number of house fires they cause every year.

Think you’re having a good time with your new girlfriend who is miraculously different than all other women? Think your erection is having a good time? Yea. Go to her closet and ask her what’s in the meticulously fucking labeled shoeboxes. Also if you answered ‘Yes’ to either of those questions, don’t read that last paragraph.

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10 Responses to “Still. Don’t Leave The Lights On.”

  1. Undergroundpatriot Says:

    Women don’t throw anything way because they are gatherers and not hunters by nature, and now they have gone to the extreme and become queens of greed.

    And you’re right, their little squirrel brains doesn’t keep track of shit ! If you want to fill your place full of useless shit and piled high to your ceilings invite a woman into your life. She’ll make sure to crud your bachelor pad up if you let her do so.

    I know because my ex was the same damn way, she bought loads and loads of shit that she never used. I swear to God, if it said that the price of something was half off, even if it was a truckload of elephant shit she was buying it !

    I am so happy to have that worthless piece of shit bitch out of my life. That $900.00 for a divorce she spent, was the best investment she made in her life. Ha ha, now she wants to come back to me.

    Imagine that :) Damn losers…

  2. woman Says:

    those boxes contain the souls of men, actually.

  3. Undergroundpatriot Says:

    Speaking of boxes, you’re dumber than a box of rocks :) FACT…

  4. diamatik Says:

    Undergroundpatriot said:
    I know because my ex was the same damn way, she bought loads and loads of shit that she never used. I swear to God, if it said that the price of something was half off, even if it was a truckload of elephant shit she was buying it !

    That shit is typical of every woman that ever lived. Always buying useless shit.

  5. Rachel Says:

    you guys are dumb asses.

  6. Necroswordsman Says:

    Undergroundpatriot said:

    Women don’t throw anything way because they are gatherers and not hunters by nature, and now they have gone to the extreme and become queens of greed.

    And you’re right, their little squirrel brains doesn’t keep track of shit ! If you want to fill your place full of useless shit and piled high to your ceilings invite a woman into your life. She’ll make sure to crud your bachelor pad up if you let her do so.

    I know because my ex was the same damn way, she bought loads and loads of shit that she never used. I swear to God, if it said that the price of something was half off, even if it was a truckload of elephant shit she was buying it !

    I am so happy to have that worthless piece of shit bitch out of my life. That $900.00 for a divorce she spent, was the best investment she made in her life. Ha ha, now she wants to come back to me.

    Imagine that :) Damn losers…

    For almighty fucks sake, stop using so many different names. You’re so retarded its not even funny. Do you have a serious condition of MPD?(You men should know this word). Just stick to one name and use it, jeez its pathetic.

  7. Necroswordsman Says:

    Fuck. ignore that. Seriously.

    I thought you were ‘Women hear me roar’ under another of her aliases.

    And before any woman calls me a dumb man, your gender does so much shit that this mistake is peanuts compared to.

  8. diamatik Says:

    Rachel said:

    you guys are dumb asses.

    Dumb asses are the ones who can’t read and/or follow instructions.

    No Women Allowed!

  9. Justice but not a Judge. Says:

    Yeah to think. All my life I’ve heard a mind is a beautiful thing to waste. If you have a mind then why not waste it. That and everything else of worth. Like food.

    I don’t feel like waiting anymore to waste mine. I might just shoot myself in the head. Why bother listening to this crap all day all night. I’ll just shoot myself.

    What do you ‘think’ happens to ‘House’ in the end. I don’t care. Keep it to yourself.

  10. Joey Says:

    Dude, if you are going to insult women, at least use some fucking sense. If you want to be a chauvinist, by all means, spend the rest of your life with nothing but your greasy playboy. Yea, women buy some useless crap but men do some pretty dumb shit too.

    There are women that are smarter, stronger, faster, more talented than you and there are women who aren’t.

    Your bullshit ideas on the environment are retarded. Pull a fucking resource out of your lonely ass when we have no air to breathe or water to drink. Women don’t buy things because they are woman, its because they are human. Hell if I understand why they like it but people enjoy different things.

    If you think destroying things is manly how about destroying a concrete wall with your face? Hows that for balls, asshole?

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