What About Teachers, Nurses, and Bank Tellers?
Men are better than women. We all know it and I proved it beyond the shadow of a doubt in my mansterpiece Men Are Better Than Women — on sale now.
Men are better than women at everything and every job in life. But doesn’t that mean every job should be staffed by men? If mine and Jesus’ premise is correct (that men are better than women), shouldn’t capitalism ensure a male only workforce?
I have had the following question thrown at me on the radio by dozens of hysterically horny bitches from here to the Eastern Bloc.
“If men are better than women, why are so many women teachers, nurses, and bank tellers, you gay fag? Women are better than men at those jobs!”
The answer is simple. Teachers, nurses, and bank tellers are predominantly female because those jobs are easy, cheap, and worthless. They’re a perfect fit for women because that’s what women are: easy, cheap, and worthless.
Easy
Being a teacher is easier than being a professor. It’s also easier than training a dog, making a pizza, directing consumers to Jamba Juice, and probably easier than turning a piece of paper into a fucking sailor hat. You don’t get three months paid summer vacation for doing that. Aside from popping out a kid and then organizing a carpool for the next 16 years, teaching is the easiest job on Earth.
The easiest job on Earth is Motherhood.
If women want to teach so badly, why don’t they teach pupils who will pay to be taught? Because they can’t. No one will pay to learn math from someone who gets her taxes done at H&R Block. No one will pay to learn economics from someone who makes her husband pay for the fifth graders’ school supplies.
What life lessons do four dozen glue sticks teach?
The simplest explanation is the correct one. That’s called Occam’s Razor and if teachers taught it, they would teach themselves into a 90% pay cut.
Being a nurse is easier than being a doctor. It’s also easier than playing Q*Bert because at least in Q*Bert you have to make a decision or two. Nurses just do whatever the doctor play book says and act like they got nailed to a cross when they showed up for work.
Doctors have two things nurses never will: a penis and responsibility. Being a doctor means calling the shots and getting your ass kicked if you call them wrong. House gets sued all the time for his shenanigans. Cuddy even put aside a legal fund in addition to his salary for the sole purpose of defending him. But guess what? He saves lives. He saves lives, and not the stethoscope, the defibrillator, the MRI machine, the bedpan, the nurse, or any of the other tools a doctor uses to do his job.
Being a nurse means holding a little bit of power over sick people until they’re desperate enough to fake like they don’t want to shove a crutch up your fat ass. Take it from anyone who’s been to a hospital. Nurses are bitches. And nothing comes easier to a woman than being a bitch.
Being a bank teller is easier than going to a bar and sizing a man up for his money via a social interaction. A lady bank teller can just check the computer, get a low-cut top, and slip her phone number and ring size in with a man-millionaire’s bank receipts.
Cheap
Sex and money make men feel good. Whenever I hear about a man being “depressed”, I ask, “How much sex is he getting and how much does he get paid at work?” I have never been surprised by the answer.
“Not enough and not enough.”
Not enough.
Women, on the other hand, are black holes of happiness. The only thing women need to quench their depression is more depression. And nothing provides that like a job that requires them to balance a big fucking cross on the chip in their shoulder. If there was an Olympic event that resembled the caber toss except competitors never actually threw it and the caber was also an 18-foot-long manifestation of their delusional self-importance, men couldn’t even compete.
Nursing, teaching, and being in the service industry are that caber.
The reason there are so many women in these fields is because they’ve priced men out of the market. Women will do “shit jobs” like wiping shit off the ass of a crack addict because it makes them feel good about themselves. It titillates the motherly instinct located in their vagina and compensates for the low pay. In fact, it drives the low pay! The same goes for babysitting a bunch of juvenile shitheads who don’t want to be there, and bringing me a Long Island Ice Tea that actually has some liquor in it this time.
Women value getting treated like shit so highly, they do it professionally. Because we men have brains instead of vaginas, we need an extra 50K a year to put up with that crap.
Worthless
Teachers are overpaid babysitters. Nurses, at best, are tools for a doctor to use — during and after work.
Technology has increased to a point where it’s difficult to identify the culmination of women’s gratuitous shortcomings in today’s modern workforce. Did she miss that email because the computer “messed it up”, or because she was crying in the bathroom? Because of technology, there’s no way to know for sure without growing some balls.
Children learned more about the world from the Wii than they ever have from some teacher. Supply and demand, you little bastards. If everyone wants a Wii for Christmas and your parents are broke, fuck you. There is no greater lesson in life.
Money makes you happier.
If you think female bank tellers are worth more than the pennies that rattle around in their drawers, I have three little letters for you.
A-T-M
Manclusion
If the CIA (Cleavage Inspection Agency) was an actual job, guess what? It would be staffed entirely by men. That doesn’t prove men are better than women at looking at boobs. It just proves that men will look at boobs for free.
Men are better than women at looking at boobs though. Women can’t even look at their own boobs properly. If they don’t look 17, women aren’t happy with them.
Grow up, ladies. Your tits sure have.
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Well, I’m a stoned 18 year old and… fuck you, bitch. You’re a teacher– crack open a grammar book once in a while and learn the difference between “your” and “you’re” before you waste our time with your meaningless woman-babble.
Or, better yet– don’t. Just go back to your job teaching “education” while the men are teaching real subjects, like math and physics.
It’s intriguing to read your illogical and self absorbed arguments Dick, But I’m a professor teaching Education at a university, and i’m 27. I work with females and males, and quite frankly, have noticed little discrepancies in their academic abilities, gender wise at least.
On a different tone, please tell me why you are so happy to let women continue to be nurses and teachers if they are ones integral in your children’s delivery (midwives and pediatric nurses) and education (yes teachers, unless you intend for your children- if a woman was naive enough to have any with you, to be bogans/hicks and be as uneducated as yourself)
I thank god my fiance and male co-workers and mates aren’t anything like you lot, I have to assume your a minority, because the world would be well and truly screwed if there were more than a sad group of you posting your immature and outdated comments on the Internet.
There are countries where these views of women are considered the norm, my advice would be to head off there, see how long you last outside your computer room, and besides considering most of them are third world there won’t be any nurses or teachers to look after your sorry arse.
Truly, you should read Freud, I have no doubt you could identify with parts of your childhood that were not developed properly, Re. Mothering.
Finally, I do not hate, nor even dislike men, or women. as an individual you have the argumentative capacity of George Bush at best, and that alone, should be insulting to anyone who reads it. Honestly I’d get better reasoning out of a stoned 16 year old.
Nah, true bartenders are still men. They’re the guys behind the bar who listen to your story a bit, pour you a drink when you need it, and kick your ass out when its good for ya. Women are called waitresses. They wear little clothes and if (due to some oversight) they’re pouring drinks instead of delivering them on a tray, they’re still just playing the tits card and hoping for tips. Because god knows, it won’t be a rapport with the customer, or a great drink, or a display of judgement that will get them more business.
This sheer amount of truth in this article gave me an erection, and I had to go rub one out before commenting–
Dick, you are the Jesus Christ of our age.
Another job at which women are horrible is bartending, yet, the entire bartending profession has been taken over by women simply because they have tits They can’t make drinks or pay attention to the customers, but, they do have tits.
You’re right! Hence the point of this post.
Women will actually brag about how worthless they are.
Men are also better than women at economics. The opportunity cost paid by society, because the supply of men is limited, when a men works menial jobs is what stops every job from employing men. In other words, for every male bank teller there’s one less male available to do something constructive and valuable. It is, therefore, a non sequitur to argue that the fact of predominantly female jobs proves that women are better at said jobs. Of course, since women suck at both logic and latin, none will understand what I just said.
Dick, Just when I think you have covered most of the areas of life where MABTW, you have to go and write a mantastic article like this. I think I too noticed an increased gravitational pull from the computer when this article was up. Simply mantastic.
A) Duh, women cannot think without it either.
B) Dick has been telling you that the penis trumps all for a while now. About time you got it, retard.
C) You’re a woman who goes by the name “Michael.” Go away.
-Rawkstah
Um no. I’d say comments like the one below is what has screwed it up for men.
Thank you for once again proving that the penis trumps all. Men cannot think without it.
Listen, I have one very big objection with this. It is easy to be a teacher, but it is NOT easy to be a GOOD teacher. That’s why there are so few of them (and, hint, they’re almost all men). There are real men that teach, and they put effort into it and actually make a difference and have a positive influence on kids (of course, some of these men just want to be around underage girls, which I can’t really blame them for).
But of course, a horde of incompetent women have screwed up the image of teachers for everyone.
Scavenger jobs, all. Don’t forget-many in nursing are single/divorced moms who had their 2x asses thrust into something they weren’t cut out for in the 1st place by the State. It’s called ‘Family Indepence’, or something like that. It has been my experience that nurses are some of the most indifferent, demonic, sadistic beings on the face of the Earth. I had abdominal surgery once, (and if you’ve ever been cut), you know how God is praised for the mighty Demerol shot about 16hrs. afterwards. “Hey…hey! Hello? Yeah, sorry to interupt your pizza party, (or whatever), but you’re late for my shot. MY SHOT. Shot, bitch.”
Then I had to cough, Christ Almighty.
It’s a horrible, horrible thing-atrocious as a disorganized, feather-headed teacher. The blind leading the blind.
Go, Dick…go.
Dick, make an epic article about women in sports, I need more of it, it’s disgusting and terrible to watch.
All three of those jobs are not very demanding and nothing really worth bragging about.
Mantastic. These little gems are priceless.
*D3C*
This post was so full of concentrated awesome, my laptop developed it’s own gravitational pull.
Preach Dick! I once mistook a female doctor for a nurse when she wouldn’t put my broken nose back into place. I said “get the Doctor he’ll do it”. She became irate and proved that she shouldn’t have gone further than nursing school.