What About Teachers, Nurses, and Bank Tellers?
Men are better than women. We all know it and I proved it beyond the shadow of a doubt in my mansterpiece Men Are Better Than Women — on sale now.
Men are better than women at everything and every job in life. But doesn’t that mean every job should be staffed by men? If mine and Jesus’ premise is correct (that men are better than women), shouldn’t capitalism ensure a male only workforce?
I have had the following question thrown at me on the radio by dozens of hysterically horny bitches from here to the Eastern Bloc.
“If men are better than women, why are so many women teachers, nurses, and bank tellers, you gay fag? Women are better than men at those jobs!”
The answer is simple. Teachers, nurses, and bank tellers are predominantly female because those jobs are easy, cheap, and worthless. They’re a perfect fit for women because that’s what women are: easy, cheap, and worthless.
Easy
Being a teacher is easier than being a professor. It’s also easier than training a dog, making a pizza, directing consumers to Jamba Juice, and probably easier than turning a piece of paper into a fucking sailor hat. You don’t get three months paid summer vacation for doing that. Aside from popping out a kid and then organizing a carpool for the next 16 years, teaching is the easiest job on Earth.
The easiest job on Earth is Motherhood.
If women want to teach so badly, why don’t they teach pupils who will pay to be taught? Because they can’t. No one will pay to learn math from someone who gets her taxes done at H&R Block. No one will pay to learn economics from someone who makes her husband pay for the fifth graders’ school supplies.
What life lessons do four dozen glue sticks teach?
The simplest explanation is the correct one. That’s called Occam’s Razor and if teachers taught it, they would teach themselves into a 90% pay cut.
Being a nurse is easier than being a doctor. It’s also easier than playing Q*Bert because at least in Q*Bert you have to make a decision or two. Nurses just do whatever the doctor play book says and act like they got nailed to a cross when they showed up for work.
Doctors have two things nurses never will: a penis and responsibility. Being a doctor means calling the shots and getting your ass kicked if you call them wrong. House gets sued all the time for his shenanigans. Cuddy even put aside a legal fund in addition to his salary for the sole purpose of defending him. But guess what? He saves lives. He saves lives, and not the stethoscope, the defibrillator, the MRI machine, the bedpan, the nurse, or any of the other tools a doctor uses to do his job.
Being a nurse means holding a little bit of power over sick people until they’re desperate enough to fake like they don’t want to shove a crutch up your fat ass. Take it from anyone who’s been to a hospital. Nurses are bitches. And nothing comes easier to a woman than being a bitch.
Being a bank teller is easier than going to a bar and sizing a man up for his money via a social interaction. A lady bank teller can just check the computer, get a low-cut top, and slip her phone number and ring size in with a man-millionaire’s bank receipts.
Cheap
Sex and money make men feel good. Whenever I hear about a man being “depressed”, I ask, “How much sex is he getting and how much does he get paid at work?” I have never been surprised by the answer.
“Not enough and not enough.”
Not enough.
Women, on the other hand, are black holes of happiness. The only thing women need to quench their depression is more depression. And nothing provides that like a job that requires them to balance a big fucking cross on the chip in their shoulder. If there was an Olympic event that resembled the caber toss except competitors never actually threw it and the caber was also an 18-foot-long manifestation of their delusional self-importance, men couldn’t even compete.
Nursing, teaching, and being in the service industry are that caber.
The reason there are so many women in these fields is because they’ve priced men out of the market. Women will do “shit jobs” like wiping shit off the ass of a crack addict because it makes them feel good about themselves. It titillates the motherly instinct located in their vagina and compensates for the low pay. In fact, it drives the low pay! The same goes for babysitting a bunch of juvenile shitheads who don’t want to be there, and bringing me a Long Island Ice Tea that actually has some liquor in it this time.
Women value getting treated like shit so highly, they do it professionally. Because we men have brains instead of vaginas, we need an extra 50K a year to put up with that crap.
Worthless
Teachers are overpaid babysitters. Nurses, at best, are tools for a doctor to use — during and after work.
Technology has increased to a point where it’s difficult to identify the culmination of women’s gratuitous shortcomings in today’s modern workforce. Did she miss that email because the computer “messed it up”, or because she was crying in the bathroom? Because of technology, there’s no way to know for sure without growing some balls.
Children learned more about the world from the Wii than they ever have from some teacher. Supply and demand, you little bastards. If everyone wants a Wii for Christmas and your parents are broke, fuck you. There is no greater lesson in life.
Money makes you happier.
If you think female bank tellers are worth more than the pennies that rattle around in their drawers, I have three little letters for you.
A-T-M
Manclusion
If the CIA (Cleavage Inspection Agency) was an actual job, guess what? It would be staffed entirely by men. That doesn’t prove men are better than women at looking at boobs. It just proves that men will look at boobs for free.
Men are better than women at looking at boobs though. Women can’t even look at their own boobs properly. If they don’t look 17, women aren’t happy with them.
Grow up, ladies. Your tits sure have.
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Another thing Men are better than women at, WINNING NOMINATIONS. This is how I know God is a man. Fuck off Hilary, and stop holding us men back from running the fucking country. Thanks. Time to get back to work fellas. Women, the only position you’ll ever be in is bent over. ha ha ha ha
They’re not here, cause they’re too busy looking after their children. I’ve directed a few that I know this website to get their opinion. They all said something along the lines of, I’ve already got children to raise, I don’t need to raise other peoples as well.
“The easiest job on Earth is Motherhood.”
Too true. I hate it when women say “it is the hardest job in the world.” I am actually surprised the moomies haven’t come herding to this website with all their silly antics and pulling out of hair.
Fucking BOOSH, bitch.
The reason that women make good kindergarden teachers and why they are better with small children is because they’re childish themselves. Could you imagine any real man spending an entire day with a two year old?
There’s a reason that the “Mr. Mom” image is so absurd.
More women than men teachers. More men than women professors.
Ironic? No.
Bill Gates learned that in Kindergarten did he?
Fuck off my website.
-Dick
When you have kids Dick (which will never happen cause no woman in a sane state would sleep with you) there going to have to be educated by someone and I pray to God that person isnt you. Even if I went along with your male dominating world for a moment, what would happen when boys didnt get the education they needed they they wouldnt be able to provide to get a job or be smarter than woman so your theory is flawed. Being a teacher is the most important job in the world cause they are the ones who teach children who grow up and become things like cancer researchers and CEOs
You used the wrong your. What you must’ve meant to say, or would have said if you weren’t a woman was “I have to assume you’re a minority.”
These are the kind of professors we are paying thousands of dollars a semester to teach our children? I hope you get fired.
I don’t think any male poster here has ever posted what he does for a living. Why? Because it has not a fucking thing to do with men being better than women.
Best fucking response yet! How someone teaching “Education” (whatever the fuck that really means..) could mess up something so fucking SIMPLE as ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ (which means ‘you are’) is beyond me..
I love you Dick. Awesome article, truth be told.
Women tend to opt for shitty jobs and worthless existences. We men don’t. From mines to presidency, men keep this globe running as it is. We owe ourselves for our own greatness.
Women are for sex, and useless “fill-in” jobs.
Dick for fucking president! YEAH!!
Solomon i agree with you 100% , every female teacher i have had is a raging cunt. I can recall several occasions where a male student proved a female teacher to be wrong with his manlogic. They over analyze shit and have favorite students. They dont get the job done, at least on a grade school level.
Wow, nice credentials. You sound totally legit.
Female teachers are a scourge and should be done away with completely. The entire education system has become gynocentric. Girls are encouraged and boys tune out. Why? Because discussion is encouraged while straight answers are not. 2+2=4 Girls will need this explained ad nauseum while boys will simply accept it as truth. As all teachers are female and all females refuse to accept truth or facts, you can see how boys are getting shafted in the classroom. I was fortunate enough to have male teachers in school. They would storm into the classroom like a tsunami with a big ole “Listen up maggots”. They would then immediately begin hammering facts into our little heads. We would then take those facts and apply them to problems the teacher presented. Once he felt we had a grasp of it, even if there was still class time, he would send us out to play. Guess what you dumb cunts, that’s called A FUCKING INCENTIVE TO LEARN. Now even the dumbest kids were studying hard because they wanted to go play too. There is no incentive for boys to do well in school at all now, and the bitches don’t care. Boys are just in school for the pedophile cunts to sleep with now anyway.
Bartender here…
This is so true. Most women bartenders don’t have even a modicum of respect for the job. I’d bet 98% couldn’t even succinctly tell you the difference between an Irish, Scotch, and Bourbon. They memorize a few awful sugar-filled trendy martinis and shooters, push their tits out, and expect good tips just for the privilege to sit at their bar.
-James
How many more times will we see a random idiotic tart stumble in here and drunkenly claim to be the “fatal flaw” in Dick’s hilarious truth-blasts? I’m putting my money on shfifty-five more times.
I can’t wait for Dick’s post on the all-too-female “Fatal Flaw” tactic.
-Rawkstah
Education teacher? HAHAHAHAHAH. cough. HAHAHAHAHAH.
As for midwives and delivering babies, rats give birth. Cockroaches give birth. Its nature you cunt encumbered dipshit.
A Deathslayer Translation: From Femispeak to Manspeak
It’s intriguing to read your illogical and self absorbed arguments Dick,
*
I see that you are better than me, My Lord Masterson. Please literally spank my bottom.
But I’m a professor teaching Education at a university, and i’m 27.
*
Lord Masterson, though I am an unworthy female nearing the end of my usefulness as a baby machine, and I went through years of schooling only to discover you are much wiser and more logical than my degrees make me feel, please share your wisdom so that I may bask in it.
I work with females and males, and quite frankly, have noticed little discrepancies in their academic abilities, gender wise at least.
*
I tend to notice that females get more support than boys and yet boys are still surpassing females and still only needing females for nothing but a quick shag.
On a different tone, please tell me why you are so happy to let women continue to be nurses and teachers if they are ones integral in your children’s delivery (midwives and pediatric nurses)
*
Egads, you have exposed women for their true selves and know that only other women are impressed with such things and that men have been doing the same things women claim are their domain all throughout history. Plus, if you ignore the fact that women love attention from children and feeling like they have some value, this all becomes clear.
and education (yes teachers,
*
So, if students are coming out dumber, less motivated and lazy, and majority of the teachers are female…
unless you intend for your children- if a woman was naive enough to have any with you, to be bogans/hicks and be as uneducated as yourself)
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I cannot disprove your logic, so I shall drop a shaming tactic to prove to myself I am morally superior to you and implying that no woman would ever want to be impregnated by you and that such a woman would have to be uneducated to even consider you a catch. Also, please ignore the fact that I have no child or husband, my reproductive life cycle is near it’s end and no man really wants an ‘educated woman’ due to the fact they are the most likely to divorce a man.
I thank god my fiance and male co-workers and mates aren’t anything like you lot,
*
Please ignore my delusional rant and thinking these men don’t say the same things you do. Because they want to keep their jobs or get sex from me do they not agree with what you men are saying here.
I have to assume your a minority, because the world would be well and truly screwed if there were more than a sad group of you posting your immature and outdated comments on the Internet.
*
The world would be a better place if more men like you were speaking out. I know it’s happening already, so keep up the good work. I support you.
There are countries where these views of women are considered the norm, my advice would be to head off there, see how long you last outside your computer room, and besides considering most of them are third world there won’t be any nurses or teachers to look after your sorry arse.
Truly, you should read Freud, I have no doubt you could identify with parts of your childhood that were not developed properly, Re. Mothering.
Finally, I do not hate, nor even dislike men, or women. as an individual you have the argumentative capacity of George Bush at best, and that alone, should be insulting to anyone who reads it. Honestly I’d get better reasoning out of a stoned 16 year old.
*
Sorry, guys, this chick is BORING. I’m gonna go check out some Page 3 girls or the Cheeky girls. They at least have something men can deal with, tits.
This attention whore bragging about HER man, education and other whipped men has proven nothing about how she even compares to a man. Now, saying that we couldn’t survive without our computers in a third world country, she forgets that in the same country, we as men could backslap her or have her beaten for even daring to speak this drivel to a man, so she’s the one who needs to be glad she’s in a country where men don’t exercise such power.
Now, if she FEELS she’s so strong and so powerful, let’s send her to an Arab or Muslim country….wonder how long her feminist inspired tirades would last…
Deathslayer
Agree with you here. I was a high school teacher for many years. It’s a tough job. I was responsible for four different preparations one year. Not only did I have to know the stuff backwards and forwards, but you have to instill discipline in the classroom, which may be difficult and stressful. Also, a great challenge is that you cannot fight the students at their level or you will be fired. Teaching high school is a tough but EXTREMELY IMPORTANT job and teachers at this level are horribly underpaid, and this is a problem in the United States.