The Proof is in the Penguins

Once upon a time there was a shitload of penguins that lived in Antarctica. One day every year all the penguins would get together and have sex with each other. Eggs would be born and everyone knows what happens next.

The women assume that they are done, fuck off completely, go and eat to their hearts’ content while their mate starves, and don’t come back until they are so bloated on fish carcass they can barely walk. Needless to say, their demeanors have not improved.

Sound familiar?

I read something in a man-book of science and knowledge that said all the organisms on Earth have a great deal of similarity genetically speaking — some impressive percentage that I don’t remember. When it comes to the DNA, we’re all pretty much the same animal. Is it any surprise then that we can find examples of women and their awfulness up and down the food chain?

I’m talking about March of the Penguins here, which is a good movie if you like to watch men suffering for goldbricking harlots and matriarchal moochers. That’s a trick question of course. You can watch a movie without seeing men suffer for goldbricking women just as easily as you can live it — which is not easily. The only way to escape women, their selfish henpecking, and the wake of its destruction; is probably to be in prison. Believe me, I’ve considered it.

Penguins can probably teach us a lot of things about surviving in the cold and catching fish, but they can also teach us the much more important lesson of men being better than women. In the movie about the breeding habits of emperor penguins, the females are completely fucking useless. They only go like a month without food while the males go four; they are conveniently gone during the month-long portion of the mating season that involves wedging an egg the size of a softball in your ass and balancing on your goofy looking feet against two-million mile an hour winds; and they are constantly making noise. It’s very annoying after a while.

The only thing the penguin women do right (and this is purely on accident) is square off with one another during the mating dance. I don’t know how much man has genetically in common with his penguin predecessors, but I don’t think you can have a penis and not enjoy a good cat fight.

The women penguins also can’t protect their baby penguins for shit. When they come back from their feast, sliding on their distended, fish-packed, bellies, and the males limp toward the sea at one third the healthy penguin weight, some of the first shots we see are birds just swooping down casually and picking the babies off like bread crumbs. Frankly, it made me sick, and I don’t know how you can watch that scene and not think of every single child who’s ever been abducted in a playground with a yappy, irresponsible mother yapping away incessantly less than twenty feet away.

That’s another thing. Women are responsible for most child abductions, and guess what we see in March of the Penguins. That’s right, when one of the new mothers, fat on fish jelly, accidentally drops her baby onto the freezing tundra, her first move is to snipe the baby of another. Real classy ladies. Real classy.

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46 Comments in 23 threads.»

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Comment by anonymous
2010-02-28 21:20:21 - IP Man-Hash: ecd41e90d084b

Couple of points which I would like to add……….to what Studioline has
said so far…………………..

1. MAKE A WIMMIN DEPEND ON YOU FAR MORE………..THEN YOU GET
TO DEPEND ON WIMMIN………………

THAT MEANS YOU HAVE TO DRILL THE SIMPLE NOTION INTO BITCH’S
HEAD THAT WHILE YOU ARE INDISPENSABLE TO HER………..FOR YOU
SHE IS PERFECTLY DISPENSABLE………..THAT MEANS YOU ARE FAR
MORE WORTHY TO HER………..THEN SHE IS TO YOU………..

IN SIMPLE TERMS IT MEANS SHE STANDS TO LOSE FAR MORE FROM
THE RELATIONSHIP IF IT BREAKS DOWN THEN YOU STAND TO LOSE
& THE WIMMIN GAINS FAR MORE FROM THE RELATIONSHIP THEN YOU
GAIN FROM IT.

THIS HAS TO BE UNDERSTOOD IN PROPER CONTEXT……………

YOU DON’T MAKE YOURSELF INDISPENSABLE TO HER BY SENDING
HER UNENDING STREAM OF BOUQUETS, BOOKING MOVIES &
RESTAURANTS,GOING ON SHOPPING & WORLD TOUR WITH HER &
CATERING TO ALL THE UNNECESSARY WANTS,DESIRES OF BITCH WIMMIN & NEITHER YOU MAKE YOURSELF INDISPENSABLE BY
MARRYING A HIGH SALARIED BITCH & PLAYING THE ROLE OF MALE
HOUSEWIFE BY INVOLVING YOURSELF IN HOUSEHOLD CHORES &
RUNNING TO SUPERMARKETS ON GROCERY ERRANDS………..

YOU MAKE YOURSELF INDISPENSABLE BY PLAYING THE ROLE OF
HUNTER GATHERER & PROTECTOR………………CALL IT ALPHA MALE,
EGOCENTRIC MALE, CHAUVINIST MALE……..OR WHATEVER NAME
FOR THAT MATTER……………….THE TRADITIONAL MALE ROLE WHICH
MEN HAVE PLAYED FOR EONS……………

FACE IT GUYS & WRITE IT IN GOLDEN WORDS SOMEWHERE…………A WIMMIN LOVES A MAN WHO PLAYS THE ROLE OF LEADER. A MAN WHO
PLAYS THE ROLE OF CAPTAIN & STEERS THE BOAT OR SHIP………

HOWEVER HARD THE FEMINIST BRAINWASHED PIG BITCHES MIGHT
TRY TO CONVINCE YOU, DETRACT YOU…………….THE GOLDEN TRUTH

IS NO…NO.. WIMMIN RESPECTS/SHOWS REGARD/FEARS A MAN WHO
ABDICATES/ABSCONDS THE ROLE OF LEADERSHIP & HANDS IT TO
A WIMMIN.

FACE IT GUYS…………….THE MAN COMMANDS RESPECT ONLY WHEN
HE ASSUMES/PLAYS THE ROLE OF BOSS. IF THE FEMINIST BITCH
HARPS ON EQUALITY SHIT………..MUTUAL RESPECT & OTHER CRAP
CRAP………BLAH BLAH……….SHE IS OPENLY LYING…………THE
TRUTH IS SHE WANTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOU & BECOME YOUR
BOSS……………..THAT IS THE TRUTH GUYS…………

THE FACT IS YOU COMMAND RESPECT…………..YOU DON’T DEMAND
IT & IT IS NOT HANDED OVER TO YOU BECOZ YOU WANT IT.

{{FUNNY HOW MANY FEMINIST PIG WIMMIN COME OVER HERE & PUT IT AS A
MATTER OF FACT THAT MAN = WIMMIN ,SO MUTUAL RESPECT……..
SO MAN SHOULD RESPECT WIMMIN & WIMMIN RESPECTS MAN & BLAH, BLAH, BLAH…………….FUCKING BS.}}

TO COMMAND RESPECT………YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF FAR MORE WORTHY TO A BITCH………..THEN SHE IS TO YOU……..

TELL THAT FUCKING BITCH………EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE INVOLVED
IN A REGULAR JOB, YOU HOPE TO SEE YOURSELF AS PRESIDENT OF
COMPANY 10-20 YEARS DOWN THE LINE OR EVEN IF YOU DON’T SEEM TO BE HEADING ANYWHERE 10 YEARS DOWN……..SAY YOU MIGHT
START YOUR OWN BUSINESS/COMPANY & BECOME ITS CEO……..

WIMMIN LIKE MEN WHO ARE AMBITIOUS OR AT LEAST HAVE A LONG
TERM PLAN………..

ALSO KEEP YOURSELF PHYSICALLY ACTIVE & FIT BY GOING TO GYMN SO THAT THE STUPID BITCH FEELS SHE IS HAVING A BODYGUARD TO
PROTECT HER………

2. MAKE A WIMMIN NEED YOU MORE THEN YOU ACTUALLY NEED HER…

TRY TO FULFILL A WIMMIN’S NEEDS/WANTS WHICH ARE LEGITIMATE
& RATIONAL BUT ON ONE CONDITION………..THE BITCH HAS TO WORK & EARN FOR IT IN A PROPER MANNER/WAY.

TO EARN IT, THE WIMMIN SHOULD FIRST TRY TO FULFILL THE NEEDS/WANTS/WHATEVER TASKS A MAN ASSIGNS TO HER.

IF A WIMMIN SEEKS TRUE LOVE/AFFECTION OR SEXUAL GRATIFICATION, SHE SHOULD BE TOLD TO EARN IT THE HARD WAY.

IN SEX A WIMMIN HAS NO RIGHT TO ASK THE MAN TO SATISFY HER.
…………{{UNLESS THE WIMMIN HAPPENS TO BE A PORN STAR CAPABLE OF PYROTECHNICS)…………THE BITCH USUALLY LIES ON
THE BED LIKE A DEAD LOG & THE MAN HAS TO PUT IN ALL THE
PASSION & EFFORT TO AROUSE HER & KEEP THE SEXUAL ACT GOING
……………….THE CONTRIBUTION OF BITCH IN THE ACT IS USUALLY NIL………SO THE FUCKING BITCH HAS NO RIGHT TO ASK THE MAN
TO KEEP GOING & SATISFY HER UNTIL & UNLESS THE BITCH HAS
EARNED THAT TREAT FROM MAN BY HARD WAY…………….UNTIL &
UNLESS THE MAN FEELS THE BITCH DESERVES IT………

ONE MORE POINT……………TO KEEP THE BITCH ON HER TOES, KEEP
HER ALWAYS GUESSING & NEVER ALLOW THE BITCH TO TAKE YOU
GRANTED AT ANY POINT IN LIFE…………..

 
Comment by Becca
2009-12-02 19:30:51 - IP Man-Hash: 9b3ad47b6ff44

I think you forgot to mention that the Women Penguins eat so mutch food so thay can regurgitate it. Thus, bringing back food for their newborn baby & mate…So in this case the Women Panguen is the breadwinner, & the man is the stay at home mom…who cares…people are not penguins, Men are not better than women. your half baked stories are twisted just becouse you cant tell people the real reasons why you hate women…stop being so immature & grow up.

Comment by Watcher
2009-12-03 00:51:40 - IP Man-Hash: a88f1b791d495

Becca, you’re clinically insane and know very little about penguins.

 
Comment by Harry
2009-12-03 02:16:59 - IP Man-Hash: dae3bd61694f4

Some of these comments are funnier than Dicks articles.

 
 
Comment by Haha89
2009-10-01 09:59:19 - IP Man-Hash: b2a3745f0d705

Chris=Mr. Empty-pants: http://www.maleenhancement.org/

 
Comment by GW
2009-08-03 23:49:17 - IP Man-Hash: a1689ab2499ad

So you’re comaring yourself to… a penguin. Sweet ass.

 
Comment by Rose
2009-07-04 01:12:41 - IP Man-Hash: f504de5d3b51e

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! This is definitely one of your most entertaining articles! I didn’t know that about penquins! Hysterical!

 
Comment by Chris
2009-07-03 21:54:32 - IP Man-Hash: 590d623a0afe8

You’re such a dumb coward cunt it’s unbelievable
Dick’s IP man Hash is IP Man-Hash: 8c78dc5304b3b

You should have fucked off this website when you had the chance, bitch.

Menarebetterthanwomen,

Comment by sarah
2009-07-03 23:38:58 - IP Man-Hash: e91c75be73178

wow someone has a little bit of a crush on dick,always defending him knowing his IP off by heart.
Its touching chris
really

 
 
2009-05-20 10:42:32 - IP Man-Hash: 36b5ff7ad9e82

ИнтереÑ?но, хотÑ? не мешало бы чуть подетальней напиÑ?ать, а то еÑ?ть неÑ?колько непонÑ?тных моментов :)

 
Comment by Dick is a Dick-head
2009-03-04 14:48:53 - IP Man-Hash: ced12b4cf62d5

Dick whether you ‘hate’ women, or love them it is clear you are obsessed and fascinated by them.

Comment by Dick is a Dick-head
2009-03-04 14:50:25 - IP Man-Hash: ced12b4cf62d5

And this obsession clearly shows that a woman has done something to traumatize you and put you off women for life.

Comment by Chris
2009-03-04 14:55:03 - IP Man-Hash: 8fdae3316d084

How do you know that he MUST have had girlfriends who treated him badly?????

Are you saying ALL women are HURTFUL?? And it MUST be traumatic spend time with women??

http://exposingfeminism.wordpress.com/shaming-tactics/

That’s why we just fuck you and chuck you.
Because you’re fucking trauma case.

But It’s ok sweety…. we don’t have to LIKE the women we fuck.
If men waited around for women we actually LIKED,
Worthlessm uselss cunts like YOU would never get laid.

You’re welcome.

Comment by Dick is a Dick-head
2009-03-04 15:00:48 - IP Man-Hash: ced12b4cf62d5

Firstly: Get your grammar right.

Secondly: I wouldn’t want to get laid by a a man like you, i’d just wait for a decent ‘real man’ to come along.

Thirdly: It says ‘A woman’, not all women treat men badly, a lot of men treat women far worse.

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Comment by Chris
2009-03-04 15:07:37 - IP Man-Hash: 8fdae3316d084

English isn’t even my first language.

When you are as eloquent in German and French as I am in English, THEN you can comment on my grammar.

And stop whining when men treat you (or other women) badly ….

Just listen to yourself and observe how you behave toward a man you NEVER MET who NEVER TREATED YOU BADLY…. just because he typed something you didn’t like.

You fucking worthless whining cunt.

Menarebetterthanwomen.

 
Comment by Peter
2009-03-04 15:13:22 - IP Man-Hash: c156302d4d3c9

Chris, where are you from? Kommen Sie aus Deutschland?

 
Comment by Dick is a Dick-head
2009-03-04 15:19:29 - IP Man-Hash: ced12b4cf62d5

Chris, stop whining when women treat you badly, just listen to yourself and observe how you behave towards a woman you’ve never met before, just because she typed something you didn’t like.

 
Comment by Chris
2009-03-04 15:26:22 - IP Man-Hash: 8fdae3316d084

I am a Man. I am from Mars.
Haven’t you heard?

But Mars is better than Venus. If you spend too much time on Venus your face will melt off.

I am not REQUIRED to respect you.
You keep making that mistake.

I AM NOT LIKE YOU. I DONT EXPECT YOU TO TREAT ME WELL FOR NO REASON. YOU ARROGANT CUNT.

You’re the one who spraying your whining stinky pussy all over this website.

Go get fucked.

 
Comment by Chris
2009-07-03 21:46:10 - IP Man-Hash: d15d62a58fe78

I’m hardxcore because I called her a cunt!
I’m so good at being scene.x)

 
Comment by Chris
2009-07-03 21:46:45 - IP Man-Hash: 590d623a0afe8

Women should be obscene and not heard.

 
Comment by sarah
2009-07-03 23:42:34 - IP Man-Hash: e91c75be73178

chris you constantly attack women who dont use proper grammar so dont curl up in a little ball and use the ‘its not my first laguage’ excuse, untill you can use english to its full and proper extent dont go around being a hypocrite.

 
Comment by Chris
2009-07-04 00:32:18 - IP Man-Hash: d15d62a58fe78

I’m very scene and hardxcore calling people cunts.I can’t go to concerts like the really awesome scene kids do every night.My mom want let me that cunt!!

Damn I’m a hardxcore bitch.xrawrx

 
Comment by sarah
2009-07-04 04:08:31 - IP Man-Hash: e91c75be73178

ok, Im not sticking up for chris at all but I have to tell you, you sound like an idoit. there are plenty of other more obvious ways to insult chris then calling him a scene kid, no one cares what that is and Im sure it doesnt offend him
so wise up, stop being a child.

 
 
 
 
 
Comment by Saturn V
2008-10-26 18:47:31 - IP Man-Hash: 7d1f84ad8788b

The thing that separates humanity form other creatures is the ability to rise above our basal nature and become something better than the simple sum or our genes.

 
Comment by sonyad
2007-05-13 11:28:49 - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7

How come I missed this one? This is excellent.

A long time ago, before I would have been old enough to be able to recall the happening now, my mom and me went to the marketplace.

I’ve been told I managed to walk off on my mother while she was inspecting produce or smth. and went to this chubby gipsy lady who so happened to be selling.

Since all women are suckers for a baby face she was kind enough to give me this fistful wrapped in newspaper. I was happily chomping away at the seeds whole by the time my mom realised I’d gone and flipped out hysterical like.

Thank God the affable woman realised who she was and motioned to her before she had a seizure or smth.

- BENNY BENASSI – Hypnotica + Remixes (2003)\BENNY BENASSI-Dont Touch Too Much

 
Comment by Necroswordsman
2007-02-11 18:27:31 - IP Man-Hash: 1e9a4fd46c3a7

Dick Masterson said:

Thanks, Ben. Let me assure you that Female has not been placed here nor is she welcome.

If I were to have planted a woman on this site, she would be a hell of a lot more believable than Female.

-Dick

You wouldn’t need to place a woman Dick, it’s automatic. Can’t really say much about this article except its another good one.

 
Comment by Yosei
2007-02-11 18:10:08 - IP Man-Hash: be1a5c9223844

Dick this is one of my favourite posts so far. Goldness.

- Far East patriarch

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2006-02-19 21:31:21 - IP Man-Hash: 8c78dc5304b3b

Thanks, Ben. Let me assure you that Female has not been placed here nor is she welcome.

If I were to have planted a woman on this site, she would be a hell of a lot more believable than Female.

-Dick

Comment by Chris
2009-07-03 21:50:14 - IP Man-Hash: d15d62a58fe78

This is so not you if you were I would know because I’m hardxcore.

You stupid cuntx trying to be Dick!
I’m scene and I will flail my arms at you!

Comment by AA
2009-07-04 00:25:27 - IP Man-Hash: e09696e3ed4b6

Dumb josh bitch. Why don’t you realize your IP addr is tagged.

 
 
Comment by sarah
2009-07-03 23:44:25 - IP Man-Hash: e91c75be73178

quick chris, nows your chance tell dick all you feel!

Comment by Chris
2009-07-04 00:28:21 - IP Man-Hash: d15d62a58fe78

Dick I am so scene.
I’m very hardxcore and I would love to be your personal brainwashed zombie.
I already believe everything you say just because your a man.

I’m the perfect candidate.

I’m hardxcore cunts!Kthnxbabe

Comment by AA
2009-07-04 00:32:52 - IP Man-Hash: e09696e3ed4b6

Josh Bitch. Why don’t you simply fuck off.

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Comment by sarah
2009-07-04 04:09:51 - IP Man-Hash: e91c75be73178

oh yeah, you really hit home with that peice of original thinking AA

 
Comment by User
2009-07-04 06:22:51 - IP Man-Hash: c7fd9ae3ac79b

You’re a chatty little bitch, aren’t ya?

 
Comment by Chris
2009-07-04 07:12:20 - IP Man-Hash: 590d623a0afe8

…. a chatty little bitch who’s begging for gang-anal.

 
 
 
 
 
Comment by Ben
2006-02-19 19:37:11 - IP Man-Hash: 659de20529b7e

I’ve got an inkling that “Female” has been placed here purposefully just to infuse a biased point of view. I mean, contributing members of society don’t talk like that. If she’s for real, it’s hilarious.

Anyway great site Dick, good reads!

 
Comment by Female
 
Comment by Oldone
2005-12-16 16:21:03 - IP Man-Hash: e616b9a6becce

There goes property value

 
Comment by Christian J
2005-12-16 03:45:48 - IP Man-Hash: 855239f484b2b

Praise the Lord.

 
Comment by Female
2005-12-16 01:22:06 - IP Man-Hash: dc6df4d5c25ad

Don’t feel too bad Christian, very soon I’ll be in their “homeland.” Dear god!

 
Comment by Christian J
2005-12-16 01:06:59 - IP Man-Hash: 855239f484b2b

Isn’t it always the case ?

As soon as you get a women involved you can kiss it goodbye.

They inherently are the greatest killer of fun and joy that I can find or think of.

The cretin “female” and her pathetic part-time supporter are a very good example on how women are apt at killing anything that has meaning or thats worth discussing.
Look guys, it’s not fair that its over here in Aus.
How about passing the hat around so we could send her to the epicentre of feminist moronic thought “Denmark”. It could join the moronic femmie party ?
What do you think ? I’ll give “a” Euro towards it.
Guys, give me a break.

 
Comment by Oldone
2005-12-15 09:34:01 - IP Man-Hash: 23500eaac44c3

Well Dick, I have to tell you that I am a Correctional Officer in a prison and not only are women allowed to hold officer positions in an all male institution, but they are shocked and complain, when inmates whistle or give “cat-calls” to them. Infact here atleast woman are in charge of the Mental Health department, which has forced Officers to coddle these inmates, thus turning them into sniveling children. Proof that even in a facility of screwed up people, women can screw things up even more. Even in prison, there is no escape from the insanity of women.

“Man must be arched and buttressed from within, else the temple wavers to the dust.” – Marcus Aurelius Antoninus