Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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May 7th, 2008 at 10:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7a58e0a2d7463
Amazing, common sense AND the ability to see through her kind’s bullshit. You’re officially the smartest woman I’ve seen visit here.
May 7th, 2008 at 10:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: e91110557fba9
Wow. Thank you
May 7th, 2008 at 11:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
I am glad you needed a random person you’ve never met to make you feel special.
May 8th, 2008 at 12:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 108360d51991f
It’s more of a politeness thing than a need thing. But you don’t UNDERSTAND politeness. You’re making women look good, really.
May 8th, 2008 at 12:25 am - IP Man-Hash: e91110557fba9
No need to be catty. I’m not going to be an uppity bitch and ignore the person. How about addressing the issue at hand instead of attacking my character, hmmm?
May 8th, 2008 at 12:59 am - IP Man-Hash: 2cf7fd9f97848
Look here,
Your mind was blown by a random person you’ve never met paying you a compliment on the ‘net and I am glad for you, no doubt.
Also,
Ofcourse women treat men like shit - it goes both ways though I don’t think this site will prevent those kind of women from multiplying just like a site that bashed men won’t stop men from treating women like shit. I just thought it wasn’t smart for someone to agree with these generalizations and stereotypes and say they make ’sense’
Oh and now I got “L” over here trying to school me on “politeness” though you don’t know me but nonetheless felt that you needed to add your less than 2 cents worth and generalize that my actions are another trait that validates how bad women are…whats good L?
>>L says:
RAC said:
I am glad you needed a random person you’ve never met to make you feel special.
It’s more of a politeness thing than a need thing. But you don’t UNDERSTAND politeness. You’re making women look good, really.
May 8th, 2008 at 1:16 am - IP Man-Hash: e91110557fba9
Um, you don’t know me either and you’re assuming my “mind was blown” by someone I’ve never met giving me a compliment, just because I thanked them. I was being polite…get over it. I did add the “wow” ahead of my “thank you” because I was surprised to hear that a male was complimenting me on this site.
Now that I’ve had to explain everything to you, kindly get off my back about it. You’re over-analyzing my actions….I’m sure you have better things to do with your time, as do I.
May 8th, 2008 at 7:37 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b4958dbe9ae7
My husband sent me this link because he thought it was comical. Comical being the key word. I took from it something else. Sterio types exist for a reason. There is always SOME truth to them. The problem is when people take them to extemes, and use them to hurt others. The rantings of “Dick” are just as bad as the rantings of a KKK member. Unfortunately, “Dick” has alot of hate in him that he needs to deal with, and this is his way.
May 8th, 2008 at 7:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 7d8c7f33f0940
Men dont have an extra y chromosome you idiot. There is no extra y, there is just 1 you tool.
May 8th, 2008 at 11:01 am - IP Man-Hash: dcf43038b60ef
So your husband thought I was funny and you got your uterus in a knot about it. You are an obnoxious bitch.
“No women allowed” is there for a reason.
-Dick
May 8th, 2008 at 12:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7f5f4412d0184
Maybe your husband was tryin to tell you something, hun.
May 8th, 2008 at 4:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9e4d404a1001a
why do chicks bother reading and replying to this site? It’s clearly not for you and no….you WONT be able to change the minds of the bitter and twsited males on this page who have realsied the only chick worth SHIT is their fucking mom.
fuck off and never forget:
WE gave women the right to vote
WE gave women the right to drive
WE gave women the right to work our jobs
WE gave women the right for an education
be happy with what you were given and stop whinging about…well. everything
May 9th, 2008 at 1:31 am - IP Man-Hash: e91110557fba9
I thought I would share a story, to explain why I agree with pretty much all the woman-bashing that is going on in this site:
I really don’t think guys like the irrational, emotional women….If it’s anything like my poor brother he only realizes they’re that way after they’re moved in with him…he seems to be a magnet for them, lol.
I’ve seen my older brother put up with a LOT of shit from irrational, emotional women. His psycho ex kicked the ladder when he was painting the house because she wanted him to pay attention to her, so he grabbed a handfull of paint and threw it at her (lol, she wanted attention right?). Being the psycho, irrational woman that she was, she kicked the ladder as hard as she could and the ladder slipped and my brother and the ladder ended up going through the living room window….
She was also unemployed while he was working. When he got home from work he used to unwind by playing his Playstation for a bit. She did not agree with this, because it meant she wasn’t the center of attention. So, she grabbed the Playstation, while he was playing it, and threw it across the room in a rage…..
She’s a prime example of why the men on here are pissed, and rightfully so. Too many women are raging, hormonal bitches.
May 9th, 2008 at 7:16 am - IP Man-Hash: f0d8a7a8c0b51
It’s also an ex of a double standard; when women gives a cule to a man and he doesn’t get it he is just being stupid male, but vice versa, they don’t ever get a clue even when the husband says bye bye or ever reaches for a knife.
May 9th, 2008 at 7:28 am - IP Man-Hash: f0d8a7a8c0b51
This bitch RAC is so clueless. The message to her is; We men don’t want your pussy, get the fuck out !!! this is what you get.
May 9th, 2008 at 10:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 219b27112edcf
I’m looking for an answer that the rest of the web can’t seem to supply directly. I am confident you’ll have a response. First a brief history: My guy of six years is practically never denied sex. It’s rarely boring as we both tend to appreciate experimenting somewhat (within the realm of reality). Why is he still so intrigued by porn? Prior to my relationship w/ him, I wrongly assumed that the guys who weren’t getting any or whose were predictable and boring were those who were seeking it. Any response? Please post on your site. Thanks
May 9th, 2008 at 10:35 am - IP Man-Hash: b595de107acd4
Well, sounds like your doing a lot more for your man than most anglo-american women do, so strong kudos to you. Based on the information here, it would seem to me that he would not have much of an excuse to use porn. For single men or with men who are in relationships who receive little sex, I think porn usage is far more understandable.
Well, I think that most men LOVE variety (and this probably has some evolutionary basis). Although it sounds to me like your doing a lot for him already, maybe for some reason he feels the variety is not quite enough. Maybe you can increase this in some fashion–ask what really turns him on –lingere? play acting? you dressed up as a Catholic School girl? I think you get the picture. If this does not work, I think it is possible he is being irresponsible and maybe you and he should seek some outside help.
Speaking of which, I think I’m going to watch a good porno on this delightful Friday afternoon; Catholic school girls in Bondage. Haha.
Good luck.
ha ha.
May 9th, 2008 at 11:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 962ea90c34fa1
It’s rarely boring as we both tend to appreciate experimenting somewhat (within the realm of reality). Why is he still so intrigued by porn?
*
Boredom isn’t the problem. It’s that he likes to look at other people get laid. Sure you may give him sex, but what are your limits? ‘Within the realm of reality’? What does THAT exactly mean?
Otherwise, I’d agree with no manhole.
Deathslayer
May 9th, 2008 at 12:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: f0d8a7a8c0b51
Gee,
that was interesting, she never even mentioned what is the problem.
May 9th, 2008 at 12:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 293b3d4ff880a
Der Bitch in Training,
By reading your post I can conclude two things: 1) You have an IQ of less than 50, and 2) you are under the mental age of 13.
What you epically phail to realize is that if a man-child in the elementary school system beats a bitch-in-training, in a physical contest involving pain, said man-child will be suspended for hurting the bitch. An perhaps the man-children did not want to get in the sea at that point in time, or perhaps they knew of a thing called hypothermia, which obvious your fat-ass cow body can’t get due to all the lard on you, and the lard protecting your brain.
Go jump of a cliff/cut your wrists,
Q-ball