Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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was that bloke or joke?
So drunk i might perish.
to dick…doesn’t even deserve a capital “D”
it is true, all men have dicks and some act like dicks…for you, both is true
prostitution is busy work.
Uh-huh. He seriously needs to get a life. And one thing that really got me? He says women are racists, but look at him! He’s a sexist! And sexists are no better than racists. Wouldn’t you say that he’s a complete idiot? When I first came to this site I thought I might die laughing because his stupidity was making me laugh so goddamn hard that I couldn’t breathe properly.
your both messed up women. Accept the fact that we arent being sexist, but we are being truthful. Western feminazis women began this war and we are going to finish it. Now fuck off.
Bonnie, have you studied Margaret Sanger? She was the founder of Planned Parenthood, so she must be good, right?
Well, she’s a big reason why we men view women as defaulting to racism. Here’s what she said about aboriginal Australian men:
A lot of women appear very racist. I’m sorry, but that’s true.
Women have staggering degrees of anger against that which (to them) ‘doesn’t fit’. And wow is it anger and racial hostility.
Read up on Sanger’s views on eugenics.
-wolfe
Okay. Most of the things that are written about men on here are true. But what Dick wrote about women? Pretty much all of it is bullshit.
Uh-huh. He seriously needs to get a life. And one thing that really got me? He says women are racists, but look at him! He’s a sexist! And sexists are no better than racists. Wouldn’t you say that he’s a complete idiot? When I first came to this site I thought I might die laughing because his stupidity was making me laugh so goddamn hard that I couldn’t breathe properly.
You are essentially correct, madam.
-wolfe
Men are not better then woman, and niether are woman better than men!! We are both equal!!!
Dick really needs to get a life, n stop trying to think men are better. you men just moan about woman because woman dont think like men. Thats good acctally, cuz men are looney! Example: Dick!!! get a life!!! n accept that woman are here, cuz there is nothing you can do about it. woman help reproduction, and of course look after men, cuz men cant look after them selves. Woman help alot in the world, you should accept that!!
We will as soon as we see a woman get up off her ass for a change.
I do not read about fashion all night and I do not “starve myself to be attractive”. The reason I get four hours of sleep and barely anything to eat is because I have so much to do during the day, you fucking moron. Women do not just sit on their asses all day long! When are you men going to realize that?
We are men. We are different. We have only one word for soap. We do not own candles. We have never seen anything of any value in a craft shop. We do not own magazines full of photographs of celebrities with their clothes on. We do not go to counsellors. Especially female counsellors.
-Big Al
Suppose some of us are of indigenous sub-saharan African or indigenous aboriginal origin? Shall these people be doomed to only have the pleasure of sweating?
i think that you blokes should get some counselling. don’t choose a woman counsellor though what ever you do. you’d probably go red and start sweating.
That was code for “Ignore the whore.”
Huh?
- Montserrat Caballe - Hijo De La Luna
slavegirl, are you nothing more than a walking vagina? Oh who the fuck cares, you will be sure to find some firm friends here.
i completely agree with this site, as a real woman (completely submissive) i recognize all men as my superiors and must obey.
memphis_slavekitten@yahoo.com
LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!! said:
-We live less because for the most part we do more, we have less health funding and are taught from a young age to bear pain and heath problems stoicly. I thank the lord that women such as yourself will probably die alone because your husband died earlier than you did, that is if you even find a man willing to listen to your hateful slander.-
Well, I’ll be damned. Men for some reason think that they work harder, that is not true. You think it’s easy, to drive all day, to get four hours of sleep at night, clean the house, and cook dinner? To entertain your kids, to chase after them when they misbehave? You think it’s easy to go nearly the entire day without food, to go through eight painful hours of childbirth? I am not even a feminist! “Hateful slander?” What the hell do you call everything on this site? This site says that women are dumb, they never know what the hell they’re doing or saying, they can’t drive, they suck at math, that they’re illiterate, they can’t multitask, and that they basically can’t do anything. So again, what is that? Is that not “hateful slander?”
-Men do work harder than women, bottom line. Taking care of kids isn’t “hard work” idiot. Hauling 75 lb blocks of concrete around all day is hard work. Women go through 8 painful hours once every couple of years, many Men (such as myself) do it every day of the year. I never said anything about it being easy for simpletons, I simply said that we die earlier because we do more. The only thing that women produce is children. I will also note you took one part of my arguement and rebutted it instead of the whole thing. Silence does give consent I suppose.
My kids? What a fucking joke. You mean the ones that you can legally take away from me without any explanation whatsoever? The ones that I will be forced to pay for without any legal guarantee of seeing at all? But surely they’re mine I mean I must have donated that sperm for them and all.
-Strength and Honor-