Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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Gents, discussion of religion isn’t adding a lot to this thread. I suggest considering moving it to the forums, say Politik.
@Ray you raised a valid point; however, the implied contention that no successful religion (sure, we can argue what that means) has placed women in charge remains, and remains a valid contention.
That may be because of sexism, it may be because of the Evil Patriarchy™, or it may be because Men are Better than Women®.
It may well be because matriarchies just aren’t that successful for human beings. See Dan Amneus’ The Garbage Generation for one such take.
-wolfe
How am I ‘blissfully ignorant’, when you, yourself, is the one being ignorant to different cultures and religions? I, personally, do not care what your religious beliefs are, I was merely pointing out flaws on this website, I was not insulting you, or questioning your beliefs.
Christianity isn’t the only religion out there.
Maybe I am a literary adept ape, you’ll probably never know, but I can at least argue my point with an open minded view on things.
Exellent point, Mary is not the devine mother. That would make her the mother of God, which of course if fucking rediculous cuz no damn smelly cunt could conceive such a good thing.
Mary was nothing more than a vessel, even God knows females are only good for carrying babies, till they can be taught by men.
And you might well also be a literary adept ape, for all we know. Or even a computer that’s just passed the Turing test. Who’s to say?
However, I, for one, know I’m descended from no ape and the only god I worship is the God of Abraham and Moses, the one, true, living God, His Son and the Holy Ghost.
Me getting religious on your blissfully ignorant self is your cue to obsequiously depart the site.
- Glory Box
They might well be false. Jesus might never have been the Son of God, God himself may not even exist. All religions could be fake!!!
But certain religions do believe that Mary was divine, not christianity as a whole, as it’s probably the most divided religion in the world, but denominations of it do.
I don’t want to get into a debate about the different beliefs of Christians, and which ones are right and which ones are wrong. Dick said : ‘No religion anywhere’ and i’m just saying he is wrong.
Anyway, the christian religion is quite a sexist one. I can definetly admit that. But moving away from that ONE RELIGION, like i said, Asatru.
Does that not count?
Just because it’s not as mainstream as others?
It’s okay Billy it’s the harlots way of bastardizing Christianity by making Mary divine because she had a womb. Big fucking deal.
And as for her divinity, she was hand picked by God to bring up his child. Not to mention the fact that Mary never died, but ascended into heaven AND she was completely without sin.
And as for her divinity, she was hand picked by God to bring up his child. Not to mention the fact that Mary never died, but ascended into heaven AND she was completely without sin.
I know all to well how some view it. But these are completely false.
Mary did die just like any ordinary woman. And she was never without sin. There was only one who was without sin. And that was the God-man.
The bible plainly says this and Mary wasn’t perfect.
She had to have her sins forgiven like the rest of us.
It is a real religion. Its regarded as one. Just because it’s not mainstream doesn’t mean it’s not classified as a religion
First of all, there are different denominations of Christianity, and some do consider her as a large part of the faith. Don’t get me wrong, some completely over look her, but, for example, Catholicism, she plays a main role.
and that role is the mother of god. She is called, by the Catholic faith, Mary the Mother of God.
pure and simple.
And as for her divinity, she was hand picked by God to bring up his child. Not to mention the fact that Mary never died, but ascended into heaven AND she was completely without sin.
I’m just trying to say that the statement ‘No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. ‘ is flawed, as there are religions out there with Goddesses, and Mary was put in charge of God made flesh! She was in charge of bringing up Jesus, to look after him and nurture him. Sure, it’s not being the Messiah, but that’s a lot of responsibility.
Ha! Luka, I’d call it dialectic, not fallacy. Very good one though.
Kind regards,
-wolfe
Ah yes, but no true Scotsman puts sugar on his porridge.
To be perfectly honest i’m not fond of that religion either, it’s more of a novelty religion and no one manages to take it seriously.
I was just using it as an example.
why doesn’t it count though? You can’t just disregard other peoples beliefs just because it means your argument is no longer valid! It’s a real religion, whether you like it or not.
but if it doesn’t count, then what about Asatru?
(aka Norse Heathenism)
It consists of FOUR Goddesses, Freyja, Frigg, Skadi and Ostara, thats one more than the amount of Gods.
Oh, and it’s maintained it’s historical relevance, its followers nowadays concentrate on following it as closely as the original Norse people.
Of course I’ve heard of Wicca. It doesn’t count.
-Dick
Ray, ok I’ll agree that WICCA is a religion in that it has followers and a system of beliefs.
But as to what ends it is a good reiglion, I’ll call it a Satanist consumer cult that encourages the desires of now and damns the afterlife and altruism. A very feminine religion indeed.
How about no real relgion has a woman in charge.
And to be technical. Mary isn’t Mother of God.. But Mother of the
the flesh of the God-man.
She was only a women who God chose to do a the job.
Simply a woman of virtue.
Nothing divine about her.
God didn’t need a Mother.
But to become flesh he chose to have a earthly Mother.
Ever heard of Neo-Paganism?
Greeks and Roman cultures were overthrown, and Christianity took over.
Just because they were PAGAN religions doesn’t mean they weren’t religions.
WICCA may be for Goths and Vegans, but never the less, it’s a RELIGION. There fore saying this: ‘No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit.’ is wrong, because there are religions out there that do.
Plus certain denominations of Christianity focus a lot on Mary the mother of God, and see her as a divine figure, she was ‘put in charge of shit’, she gave birth and raised Jesus, she was entrusted with his life.
I’m just saying, it’s false, it’s a mistake. And maybe there should have been more research involved with that statement.
Ahh yes Ray I have heard quite a deal about them. WICCA isn’t really a religion in any form. It’s a worship what you want when you want if you want. It’s quite suited to our society actually, consider it like the McDonalds of religions. You get to choose your own “goddess”, what sort of code is expected of you from that “goddess”, ad infinitum. All of the religions that you’re speaking of are polytheistic, I believe that most religions today are monotheistic as well as Male orientated at least in theory.
-Strength and Honor-
Greece, Rome and their PAGAN religions are utter failures, Raychel. That’s why they’re dead. When their culture started celebrating the feminine, they ceased to be great powers. “Caeser, every women’s man.. And every man’s woman”
Wicca is a loser religion for Goths and vegans who still can’t seem to weigh less than 300 lbs even by never eating meat.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit.
-You’ve obviously never heard of a religion called WICCA. The Goddess plays a major role in that religion, if not the most important.
Never mind the countless older religions and cultures, greek, roman, all had at least one Goddess.
WOMEN ARE FUCKIN STUPID! END OF