Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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@one voice, explain how so. i mean women are just as strong as men, but not neccesarily physically stronger but mentally. They can endure more pain than men can and given the chance can out do men in anything that they triumph in with maybe a few exceptions.
woman aren’t equal to men and never will be
I love it when you talk dirt to me a-better-world
HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE I AM A WOMAN, BI-YATCH? WHO KNOWS YOU MIGHT BE A WOMAN YOURSELF!
i’m pretty sure that’s the worst insult a person can give to another on this site, so there you are “robert”!
I don’t like arguments, I just get annoyed by people who don’t know what they’re talking about.
and i have to be honest, that is only a minority of people on here.
At least now I know why Billy hates women so much.
He’s told this story before all you fembot dramatists where here, so believe it or fuck off.
@Billy - what excatly have i learnt from your comment? Except the use of written sarcasim. And pardon my spelling mistakes rared should be reared-transitive verb to bring up and care for young animals or children until they are fully grown.
Your mother tried to kill you? Are you exaggerating again, Billy?
More precisely, for all [of our] sake[s].
So what else are they good for but sex and making babies?
Sure some can still bake cookies for us.
I didn’t run to mom when I fell off the bike.
Mom tried to kill me for all mens sake. Do you think I wanted her hugs after that? And no she didn’t rared me for well! What ever the fuk that means.
Now Feddy, so nice of you to drop by.. Can you read and learn something in silence maybe?
Though you all have statistics on how men are better than women. What would we do without them? Yes I don’t believe Mary to be divine (last thing on Christainity) i still think that women are still needed in the world for a great number of things. Not just child birth, who did you go to when you fell off your bike, needed a hug or was just there for you when you needed them? your mother.
so if you call all women whores aren’t you calling the women that rared you a whore?
Ray, you like arguements… don’t you?
Maybe I should volunteer you to Female in a MABTW shotgun wedding.
Think of it as a summary.
Well this isn’t the Politik forum.
No one said move on, it was said take it to the Politik forum.
Jesus was the son of God from the moment he was conceived.
Seems I’m not the only one who can’t follow directions, Freddy, we’re trying to move on from the Christianity debate.
Exellent point, Mary is not the devine mother. That would make her the mother of God, which of course if fucking rediculous cuz no damn smelly cunt could conceive such a good thing.
Mary was nothing more than a vessel, even God knows females are only good for carrying babies, till they can be taught by men.
Also to make another point on Mary being divine, this is a false impression given to those to make Jesus more celestial, I mean what is this ‘orginal sin’ stuff anyway? And sure she did carry the ’son of god’ but that doesn’t make her any different from any other female that had to give birth then, Jesus was born then grew up to become the ’son of man’
Exellent point, Mary is not the devine mother. That would make her the mother of God, which of course if fucking rediculous cuz no damn smelly cunt could conceive such a good thing.
Mary was nothing more than a vessel, even God knows females are only good for carrying babies, till they can be taught by men.
If you believe the story, then you are presumably religious. Do you think God would like you calling his Earth Mother a smelly c***?
Also, there has to have been a good reason for Jesus to have needed to have been born to a woman considering it wouldn’t have taken too much effort to simply have materialised on earth as a full grown man when he was 30.
The latter does not follow the former, actually.
@SotS: Indeed.
-wolfe