Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
Note: If you would like to link to this article from your website or MySpace page, use the following code:
Related Articles:
















May 9th, 2008 at 10:35 am - IP Man-Hash: b595de107acd4
Well, sounds like your doing a lot more for your man than most anglo-american women do, so strong kudos to you. Based on the information here, it would seem to me that he would not have much of an excuse to use porn. For single men or with men who are in relationships who receive little sex, I think porn usage is far more understandable.
Well, I think that most men LOVE variety (and this probably has some evolutionary basis). Although it sounds to me like your doing a lot for him already, maybe for some reason he feels the variety is not quite enough. Maybe you can increase this in some fashion–ask what really turns him on –lingere? play acting? you dressed up as a Catholic School girl? I think you get the picture. If this does not work, I think it is possible he is being irresponsible and maybe you and he should seek some outside help.
Speaking of which, I think I’m going to watch a good porno on this delightful Friday afternoon; Catholic school girls in Bondage. Haha.
Good luck.
ha ha.
May 9th, 2008 at 11:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 962ea90c34fa1
It’s rarely boring as we both tend to appreciate experimenting somewhat (within the realm of reality). Why is he still so intrigued by porn?
*
Boredom isn’t the problem. It’s that he likes to look at other people get laid. Sure you may give him sex, but what are your limits? ‘Within the realm of reality’? What does THAT exactly mean?
Otherwise, I’d agree with no manhole.
Deathslayer
May 9th, 2008 at 12:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: f0d8a7a8c0b51
Gee,
that was interesting, she never even mentioned what is the problem.
May 9th, 2008 at 12:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 293b3d4ff880a
Der Bitch in Training,
By reading your post I can conclude two things: 1) You have an IQ of less than 50, and 2) you are under the mental age of 13.
What you epically phail to realize is that if a man-child in the elementary school system beats a bitch-in-training, in a physical contest involving pain, said man-child will be suspended for hurting the bitch. An perhaps the man-children did not want to get in the sea at that point in time, or perhaps they knew of a thing called hypothermia, which obvious your fat-ass cow body can’t get due to all the lard on you, and the lard protecting your brain.
Go jump of a cliff/cut your wrists,
Q-ball
May 9th, 2008 at 1:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4144e596343d7
Men are by nature polygamous. Women are by nature monogamous. Hence, even in a good relationship men will be tempted to stray. You need to be all women to him.
May 9th, 2008 at 3:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4904a4365639a
Here’s where you fucked it up, kind sir.
Though psychoanalysis is a very effective method of practice today, many of Freud’s theories are disregarded, including the theory that females suffer from penis envy during the PHALLIC STAGE of psychosexual developement.
And I suspect you yourself are suffering from some fixation on a past experience, possibly consisting of a relationship with a frigid anglo-saxon whore, a term I’ve seen you use to generalize the female species.
And by the way, I’d like you to how you sit on your fat ass lounging in the computer chair, making ad hominems and fallacious arguments to confirm how “awesome” and “manly” you are. Go on, continue writing your long-ass diatribes. No doubt you’ll write one right back at me, falsely thinking that what you say is truth when presented with near-perfect syntax and admittedly effective diction.
And, just to have a little fun with this before I go…
To be quite honest with you, it sounds like you need to be raped and beaten into a bloody pulp by your neighboor of African descent; and I pray that the teeth in your putrid mouth are smashed out, and your ass torn so far open that some of the organs of your digestive system start to fall out. In future, if you don’t want your head to end up being busted in like a smashed cantaloupe, I heartily suggest that you continue to stay on the toilet, jacking off to Dick’s writing and off the fucking internet.
May 9th, 2008 at 5:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71fdafac73ce7
I prefer him to be raped by a gang of sexually frustrated male orangutans (because the orangutan females deprived the males of sex at the city zoo), and then, out of frustration because the cannot penetrate him due to his obesity, they stomp on him to death and then deficate on him.
May 9th, 2008 at 7:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: b79ca1f31f6db
Mmmm….I’ve often thought that Freud (although I am quite fond of him - for his warmth and humour), like many men, spent a bit too long tugging at his cock - to the point that he began to extrapolate his own understanding of the universe from it… and assumed that as his cock was the centre of his universe, it must be the case for the universe at large. He made the mistake of using this as his starting point to understand women too.
Unfortunately his cock was not so grand. And his focus on it led him to make many mistakes in his analysis of female psychology, as he neglected to consider the female sexual and reproductive organs.
….. When you quote Freudian psychology CS it seems sacreligious. You have no understanding of human beings, yet you have obsessively read the content of the books. Perhaps you are insecure about your inadequate education so you have locked yourself indoors to make up for the imbalance? Its clear you have never applied anything, otherwise you wouldn’t be the hate-filled weirdo misfit that you are.
May 11th, 2008 at 12:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 5279075e5ad26
And then, best of all, they will learn how to spell.
Be nice.
May 11th, 2008 at 3:22 am - IP Man-Hash: 1ac2a4a5cc387
Your self loathing is disgusting please go away
May 11th, 2008 at 8:09 am - IP Man-Hash: 2bc5844a0f6c6
to all u men out there…….the only reason women suck is coz they gave birth to bastards like u………so i guess your mothers are all whores who sleep with every one including yourself
May 11th, 2008 at 8:22 am - IP Man-Hash: 2bc5844a0f6c6
oh…..by the way…….is this the best u can do????
May 11th, 2008 at 8:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 6aef8623b5e5c
@ Real Men Of Genius
How is it that I’m being self-loathing? I was just sharing a story about my brother’s emotional train-wreck girlfriend….I didn’t say I fit in with that group of women…
May 11th, 2008 at 10:17 am - IP Man-Hash: effbb45326afd
I would like to say that i agree with some things that this sites says, heavily.
however there are some points that i don’t think chicks can really understand mostly in a sense like how it is hard for the painter to sell his paintings because only he likes them.
This does not mean that there are points this website makes that i don’t disagree with…
but i still want to say that this site says stuff that shouldn’t neccessarily be taken as a word from god eve though half of you are treating it that way and the other half don’t have a sense of humor.
May 11th, 2008 at 10:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 0ae520af6d01b
I know, we all have small dicks and we secretly want to fuck each other. Time for you to move along.
May 11th, 2008 at 6:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: e0af677e3c062
You are horrible, if it werent for women u wouldnt be here, for once i really dislike someone, and that is you… u should really be locked up for a long long time
May 11th, 2008 at 7:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: e5ad81745f47e
Good point!
Soon though im confident man will invent some sort of artificial embrio/fetus that will get the job done, not only get the job done but do a damn good job and not bitch and moan about it.
May 11th, 2008 at 10:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: e0f1f70ca035d
sweety, you need to get a real life. you know not the one were you bitch about woman because you don’t seem to understand them. im sorry you never had a relationship in your life that equaled to something. maybe then you wouldn’t be like this. its not my fault that no one liked you when you were small, you need help. and not from dr.phil, maybe from someone real. You say women don’t do anything with there lives? well what the fuck are you doing? writing and crying like a little boy about why you hate women. wow! congratulations, aren’t you proud of yourself. I know your mom(who is a woman by the way, ohh you didn’t know that? well i guess some idiots learn new things everyday. don’t they)must be proud.
maybe you hate women because your mom never treated you well you can fucking cry your whole life about it, but seriously who cares. really in the end women still have better jobs than your sorry ass and they get paid better. but hey your too blind by your ego to see that.
wake up, see the world. why do men have to pay for more insurance on cars than women? okay now think hard.. I KNOW its hard for you but just try once in your life. You know why?? its because you guys can’t drive not the other way around.
how many doctors are females now? more than men thats for sure. how may lawyers are women? how many women have better jobs than you right this second? Actually they all do, you don’t see any websites like this do you made by women.
so grow a dick and be a man and get a real job. maybe then people will respect you but the likely hood of that happening is small.
ohh if any of the words were too big for your brain to comprehend, oh that one was big too wasn’t it…. hmmm let me put it in a way that even retards like you will understand it.. comprehend means to understand, you know what just use a dictionary it’ll help. and i already know that you’ll just try to make me sound stupid, but really i don’t give a shit. im happy with my 200,000 dollar job and my nice 1 million dollar house and my two infinities. ya they are all because of me, i bought it all with my money.
bye asswhole hope your life is shit. you deserve it!
May 11th, 2008 at 10:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: e5ad81745f47e
haha holy shit i didnt even read all of that.
Dick needs a life? he gets paid for writing this stuff, how much did someone pay you to type that rant?
May 11th, 2008 at 10:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: da5eef8ca71bd
Bullshit; faggot.