Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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“ah finish it off with a familiar opinionated arguement that has no validation what so ever, and sign it with a cliche saying that doesnt even fit in this situation.”
You mean, of course, similar to your method? All I’ve seen you do to present an argument is either a good old overgeneralization, ad hominem, or flipping an originally shitty comment around so that it goes right back to the person who through it in the first place. Pretty much like the “I’m rubber and you’re glue” comeback.
Maybe, when you can actually offer PROOF of your claims, and how they can be applied to every woman, not just the shitty specimens you, in your infinite experience, have come up with, maybe then I can take you seriously.
Until then, I’m just gonna keep fucking with you.
Wow…well, I’m inclined to side with you. I mean, you called her naive! Because, of course, doubting the man you so clearly worship constitutes naivity.
Well, Dan, you may settle down one day, but it definately wont be with Alicia. It will have to be someone substantially dumber than her because Alicia could never possibly look up to you, and someone a lot dumber than her is the only kind of girl that could. One day you’ll understand, and get angry about this situation (as well you should), and you’ll be right back here. So long.
You guys could all use one big group mental health session and talk about your problems. And when you say someone is a whore when you don’t even know them, anything about them, except that they post on here disagreeing with you, then you have just been a prime example of how stupid you are. ‘Deathslayer’ and ‘Doubt’ I hope you get raped by some old men, you actually deserve it, and usually I would never say something so cruel, but you do. And the people who agree with this, you are so mentally weak to say things like this, I don’t even think I should have to explain why, it should be obvious that this is a load of crap to anyone with moderate intelligence. In the end, you support this, women won’t like you, you can have fun in your little manly groups of men fantasising over what you would do to women, but people like me, Luke and Alicia will actually have friends of both sexes and will eventually find a partner to settle down with and live a great life.
She’s so pissed off she can’t even type properly! The things I’d do to that pouting, steamy face.
What a wonderful way of converting your sexual frustrations into a generalized anger that most women do not deserve..
Although you state most women are sheep, I’m sure most of you here would feel intimidated by any woman who proves to have more strength of character than yourselves.
Honestly, society has often created premises so that it is convenient for women to act as the weaker, helpless, and hypersensitive sex.
However, I ask you to reconsider and evaluate all people individually and you may find that there is a human factor that makes the differences between men and women much smaller.
Its much easier to hate all women and give credit to yourselves, men.. but please, lets think a bit more logically as you say you do and judge individuals objectively and reasonably.
I can’t ask that all of you change your minds, but please have some sense; I’m sure your mothers would not be too proud.
You left something very important off your list - there are far more male geniuses than female geniuses (depending on the author, anything from 5 to 1 to 20 to 1). This is the truth that Harvard’s Larry Summers suffered for when he mentioned it in a speech. He unfortunately had to leave Harvard for the sake of PC - doesn’t say much for Harvard.
Kiddo, in the time you’ve been here, called people rapists, impersonated them to project your obvious fetish with gay men and have done nothing but rant and rave like a child having a temper tantrum. You might want to see a doctor or get a self-help book. Mental Illness for Dummies might be a start.
If you actually do, he meant it as a metaphor. Not to say men don’t actually get it, it’s that women usually start cussing at the smallest thing. Personally I’ve seen women start cussing out their own children over running in the hall or dropping a glass quite often.
Luke, Alicia LOVES 2-inch men. She sucks on them like all day suckers. Now, since you OBVIOUSLY more well-endowed that us, she doesn’t want you because you don’t fit her type of man- a man who can treat a whore like she wants to be treated. See, she throws up that strong woman facade to play guys like you for her victim role, and chumps like you eat it up.
Guys like Dick give women the truth and masculine force that the Lukes haven’t been able to develop. We don’t ASK what her feelings are-we don’t care. She’s so used to whipped men she sees a man who sees her as useless as someone who she has to win over.
What they never get is we aren’t a challenge, WE TRULY DON’T CARE. This of course means they call guys like Luke crying over our behavior of them and the Luke’s comfort them for the chance to live like us…getting into the panties and enjoying our leftovers.
Sorry Luke..your girl is a leftover…if you want used goods, you can have her.
Deathslayer
If your doing Alicia’s bidding b/c you think your going to get some “action” from Alicia, guess again. She decided within 10 minutes of meeting you she would never consider you as a sexual partner. In her eyes, your already done. Move on.
seriously, what is wrong with you people?
I can tell you several reasons why I think men are superior to women;
1. We think logically NOT emotionally
2. We don’t blame 90% of our failings, problems, and irrationalities on our penises the way women use their vaginas ie. Blaming their bitchiness and moodiness on their period (and can’t you just imagine a female B-52 pilot having a PMS moment with 10 tons of nuclear bombs at her disposal?)and when they get older, they blame everything on menopause. If men act like a****les, its because (at the moment) WE WERE!
3. We rarely if ever change. Of 5 couples that I knew in High school (40 years ago) the men still think and act the same, yet their wives (all girlfriends in High school) act like their own Grandmothers.
4. Ask a woman a question and you get a 2 hour dissertation on what she thinks about everything. Ask a man the same question and all you get is the answer.
5. Hillary Clinton, Rosie O’FatAsse, Gloria Allred, et al are women!!!
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A manhole in a trash compactor.
I’m a man… I have tourette’s syndrome. Therefore your whole logic fails.
*Checks to make sure* Yup, still a man
What’s harder then nailing a manhole to a tree?
My dick while I’m doing it.
What smells worse than a manhole nailed to a tree?
A manhole nailed to 10 trees.
i dont know about the other girls here but i come to this site to get a good laugh….
what has a 2″ penis and erectile dysfunction problems?
anyone who believes in Dick (including Dick)
What’s pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A manhole with forks in its eyes.
***
What’s pink and chunky?
A manhole with leprosy.
Homophobia, transsexualism, and tolerance. I don’t think about manhole minds too much, they don’t know what they want.