Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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I fucking died. This shit rocks. Thank you for existing.
like a virgin tucker max.
alexandria, its obvious you not-so-secretly want a penis. you know, they have operations for that now. then maybe you’ll be “better” than you are now. and as for calling james a racist, lmao, you’re no better than him by agreeing with this page. hahaaaa, dumb bitch. and as for this page, i do believe it’s a joke. everyone grow up.
Goddamn, don’t you men ever do anything but complain and stroke your egos? ;)
Oh by the way I’m not the other James.
Even though I am a man, I hate your sexist website of hate. You people make me sick. I believe men and women are equal. Without either the world would fall into chaos. In summary, you suck. Period.
I have always found it fascinating that when a woman stands up for her sex, she is seen as a humanitarian feminist but when a man stands up for his sex he is labeled as a chauvinistic pig. Clearly there is a point of double standards at play.
James, you are a racist dumbass. Don’t say things like that, you are only lowering yourself to the standard that you are accusing women of.
Ill tell you something else woman are Nearly all woman are frigging Nigger
Lovers they actualy go out of the way to sleep with a Nigger!
and when you get right down to it that is the low of the low
Women degrade themselves. Dick is just capitalizing on their stupidity.
In case you fucking cunts can’t get a clue, look around. What he says is true for 99% of the female population. Sure, there are some exceptions. They prove the rule.
Suck my dick ladies.
Hahaha… this sites awesome, believe it or not, this site is real proof that a man is so ambitious that he can make money from degrading a gender through the internet. Props to you my friend.
hey i watched you on dr phil. and u rly made a point. the first time i thought u was joking buth it actualy made sence..
Maybe you should deprive the world of your frigid American cunt by getting the fuck off the site. Just do us a favour and get lost, you 300lb fat Saxon bitch with a Ronald McDonald fixation.
i think that u were really deprived as a child to make to think of something like this. and most of the things you say about women are true for some men
Fair enough. Tell me your beliefs first. And I admit, I made a generalization myself, thinking that you thought like everyone else on here. Tell me your points. I’m not asking so I can disagree-I agree with most everything here. I just want to make sure that people are using proper technique in argument. Call it a personal quest.
And by the way, i do agree that men and women need eachother to an extent, but that doesnt change the fact that all in all, men are better than women at many many things.
Look at the truth behind the sarcastic, satirical, arrogant seeming attitude. Men truely are better than women. Women will never be “equal” to men, and neither do they even WANT to be. Men have to step around womens feelings all the time. If you are a man, you know that if you are in a relationship with a girl you cannot talk to her in the same way you would talk to your friends. Why is this? Because a women has emotions that she cannot control and she would throw a hissy-fit and half the things you talked about. If women really want to be equal to men then they wouldnt complain about the way men act around their friends. I’m a women, and i can admit all of this. If women could forget about the fact that it doesnt “feel good” to hear all of this, and had the maturity to put their pride aside for one second, they would realize “damn, i really am like that.”
Girl.
Oh lawd, this is awesome.It’s hilarious.
10/10
All the chicks, who are defending themselves here are proving every bit of this to be true.
STFU. :’D
lol@this whole website
I’d hate to tell you this, but the male word for sheep is “ram”.