Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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Hee-hee… his name is “Dick”. He’s a dick, alright! XD
Get them to stop refering to men as dicks and we’ll talk.
*Imagine Robert Stack’s voice:* Manholes….DAMN MANHOLES….Manholes are Marxist/Leninist, Zionist Communist Sympathizers….5th columnists every damn one of them, threatening our way of life. A treacherous breed, out to destroy the remaining vestigious of masculinity itself!!!!!!!
Happy Memorial Day Observed to you, Twerp. BTW, I do consider you a pseudo-intellectual.
Still stunned by the intellectual prowess of someone who doesn’t know the word for a male sheep.
woah! easy ppl. please stop reffering to women as “cunts”. No i’m not gay! :) have been blessed with the most awesome girlfriend ever..and the best mom ever.
women rock!
It’s damn good I’ll never fall back into that dull, paltry mindset. No, I’m only out for me now because I know better than to live a manhole’s fantasy.
It turns out money is happiness; manholes would have you believe otherwise, but they sold their souls to the most swollen amalgamations of hell so…
Well, I know better than to get caught up on some manhole offering a one-way ticket to getting a toenail in my throat.
Looks like Dick hit a nerve with someone.
This article has had to have been the stupidest thing I have ever read. I wear a watch, my mother wears a watch. And you contradicted yourself by saying “Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though!”
All women don’t “whore-around” and fuck other guys. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Guess what? With out women, with out your mother’s, you would have never been born. All men start out female in the womb. Bet you didn’t know that. And you were part of your mother once. You were once part woman.
The most I’ve ever seen a man do is sit down in front of a fucking TV, play a sport, get high, or getting drunk till he passes out. And you’re trying to tell me that men are superior? No fucking way.
“Jesus was a man” Yeah, but didn’t Jesus always teach us to “Love Thy Neighbor”? Not all women hate. You’re take a stereotype and making as big as it seems.
And the men who reply back, saying shit like “Yeah fuck women!”, and the guy who made this website and his book, you’re just looking for way to compensate for your small penis.
You realized when you were a teenager that no woman would ever love you, so you gave up, told everyone that women were bitches and complained about it (like every other high school dipshit who can’t get laid) and made a big deal about it, making a book, and you still haven’t probably gotten laid yet.
From now on, clean your own fucking house and do your own fucking cooking. I’d like to see you try.
wa1mart (11:18:04 AM): lets make comments now!
wa1mart (11:18:05 AM): 10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
wa1mart (11:18:19 AM): that’s why they get slapped - better? I don’t think so
wa1mart (11:18:25 AM): keep your fucking mouth shut
wa1mart (11:18:35 AM): 9. Men are not sponges
monkeygirl1119 (11:18:36 AM): HAHA I thought you’d like this reading
wa1mart (11:18:47 AM): Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires.
wa1mart (11:19:23 AM): yeah - that’s why they are millionars in hollywood and i get paid nickles and dimes, that’s also why fights always break out - see answer to #10
wa1mart (11:19:27 AM): keep your fucking mouth shut
monkeygirl1119 (11:19:36 AM): ahahah
wa1mart (11:20:01 AM): 8. Women are racists - um WTF apparently women believe ignorant is better?
wa1mart (11:20:27 AM): 7. Men live less than women - yeah that’s why you had to fight for your freedom and we were nice enough to give it to you
wa1mart (11:20:58 AM): 6. Men write illegibly - Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
wa1mart (11:21:33 AM): no you do enough talking i don’t even want to think about more words
monkeygirl1119 (11:21:42 AM): lol
wa1mart (11:21:43 AM): take down my notes secritary and SHUT UP
monkeygirl1119 (11:21:51 AM): haha
wa1mart (11:21:54 AM): smoke and ill finish
wa1mart (11:21:55 AM): brb
monkeygirl1119 (11:22:06 AM): haha okie )
Auto Response from wa1mart (11:22:06 AM): I am away from my computer right now.
wa1mart (11:29:34 AM): 4. Men wear watches
wa1mart (11:29:37 AM): what?
wa1mart (11:30:15 AM): Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
wa1mart (11:30:28 AM): A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
monkeygirl1119 (11:30:54 AM): AHHAHAHA
wa1mart (11:31:12 AM): No men wear watches because they have important meetings to get to to make the money so those stupid bitches can get those braclets and stare out the window like dumb bimbos all day and “not get bored”
wa1mart (11:31:24 AM): 3. Boys destroy things
wa1mart (11:31:41 AM): I thought we were talking about men and women not boys and girls
monkeygirl1119 (11:31:47 AM): lol
wa1mart (11:32:04 AM): she must have gotten bored even though it was previously stated that women don’t get bored
wa1mart (11:32:17 AM): either that or . . yeah dumb bimbo
wa1mart (11:32:28 AM): 2. Marriage is stupid
wa1mart (11:33:42 AM): that’s why women put so much effort and so much time, even though they don’t know how much because they don’t wear a watch, and they will cry their eyes out if their under superior man leaves them standing at the alter
wa1mart (11:34:04 AM): but shes right marriage is stupid - just fuck me and then leave i don’t want to see you other than with your cloths off
wa1mart (11:34:13 AM): 1. Men have penises
wa1mart (11:34:30 AM): OMG she took sex ed, what a smart girl
monkeygirl1119 (11:34:42 AM): lol
wa1mart (11:34:57 AM): When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
wa1mart (11:35:02 AM): more importantly
wa1mart (11:35:14 AM): In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man.
wa1mart (11:35:27 AM): yeah because when I want to prove “I’m a man” I whip out my cock
monkeygirl1119 (11:35:33 AM): lmao
Either the lady that wrote this was left by a man so she got really upset and had to make some stuff up or she just feels less suprior to men. The last time I checked women can’t survive without men and men couldnt’ survive without women. Someone needs to get a life.
No, Ellen. He has a book. He really thinks men are better than women. Kinda sad.
Hehehe, that was funny. Don’t take it siriously though.
Note: It is a fact that men are physically stronger that woman, and the avarage IQ is a little higher, but there is something that’s called ‘over doing it’.
@ cunts
When a cunt is asked to say or write anything on the topic of; show your competence about men, only the dead silence is going to come.
They can not even ask; ok you got me I wish I knew anything, but I don’t, so tell me, please. Why is this so? Hush, Hush, because it’s one of cunts deepest secrets, that they don’t know a thing. It’s so important for cunts to have these secrets, so men won’t know about them as men are not ally they are the enemy.
Have you cunts not have any intelectual impulse that this theory followed by this conspiracy of yours it the very thing which fucks you up more than anything every minute by minute of your lifes?
Keep thinking cunts… keep thinking…
..I just don’t trust a person who can bleed for 5-7 days without dying.. ;)
Peeps, where’s your humor?
Wrong bet IRSA - twice wrong in one sentence, neither I’m cunt or fat.
The topic was not; show how incompetent you are about men, it was; show how competent you are about men. Why do you get all nasty? it is not my fault that you women are incompetent about men which makes you no women it makes you cunts.
So the one with the cunt is calling a bunch of people without cunts a bunch of cunts?
I bet your fat.
@ Jill, therookie, Terri, Kyo, RossIRSA;
All you can write is; o.. well, moron, amusing, joke, beer,
If he is so “wrong” and you are so much more “mature” and advanced, why don’t you write something that shows your competence about men?
If you can’t write anything showing your copetemce about men, guess what it means? that he is right about you that you are just bunch of cunts.
So be our guest and write something that shows your competence about men.
No he spat the tit out and had a beer cause that’s what a man does
Thank goodness I am not the only guy who thinks this is retarded. Yes it’s a joke…but many jokes go too far…this is one of them
That was pretty amusing. Caused a bit of a ruckus though, didn’t it?
I expect that was the reaction Dick wanted.
ur a moron whoever wrote this article