Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
Note: If you would like to link to this article from your website or MySpace page, use the following code:
Related Articles:
Pages: « 365 … 333 332 331 330 329 [328] 327 326 325 324 323 … 1 » Show All
LOL so when women do have a brain, they’re boring! My case is rested, little boy.
Then you don’t understand the implication of what wynand says. If women were the ones to be homeless on a large scale, society would regard them as victims. It would be considered an unacceptable social problem and adequate measures would be taken quickly to remedy the situation. Society would not tolerate millions of women living under such conditions.
The same goes for suicide rates. Men kill themselves almost 4 times more often than women. If it was the other way around, it would be all over the news and we would be hearing about it every day until the statistic was brought down.
Society does not feel the need to give men the same level of care and protection, because men are expected to be able to take care of themselves. Unlike women they are treated as responsible adults.
wynand’s sadistically gleeful comment only demonstrates that he, just like society in general, does not regard women as equal to men.
No, you are the one missing the point. He’s using the word ’sheep’ in a metaphorical sense. And metaphorically a ram is not a sheep. On the contrary.
Is it the only good comment on this site? Or is it one of the few? It can’t be one of the only.
Not without affirmative action and quotas, they can’t. Also, we don’t need women to be truck drivers and firefighters. We can do that ourselves. We need them to make a home and take good care of our children, and that’s where they are letting us down.
While women are selfishly addressing their own luxury problems, society suffers.
Erm… we are in the 21th century, sweetie.
I completely agree with you. One of the only good comments on this site
Ok.. im all for arguing about EQUAL rights but this is just ridiculous. Women are NOT so much better than men. And men are not so much better than women.
Ok.. im all for arguing about EQUAL rights but this is just ridiculous. Women are NOT so much better than men. And men are not so much better than women.
Panda, this comment is towards you. Yes i have to agree, he does have a right to say these things but your comment about “So many men agree with him”. Who wouldnt agree if someone is saying something positive about who you are? Me, I do not think women are better than men BUT i do not think men are better than women. This society needs both men and women.(Reflecting on your comment about a babies birth needing men and women). This world would not survive without men. Also it wouldnt survive without women. Sure most men are stronger , but does that mean their better? Nope. Women can be anything they want to be in this society. The only reason they couldnt before was because the domnating men believed that braun is more important than anything , which it is not.
Obviously you. Seeing as you took the time to read and reply to her comment.
Does he have no right to say these things? So many men agree with what he has to say. Even some women agree with him.
You say that Jesus wouldn’t have been born if it weren’t for a woman. That’s all a woman has. The only power a woman has is the ability to have children, and it is shared with a man. Must I remind you that an egg needs to be fertilized to become an embryo?
Ooh, ad nauseum? How about ad hominem? You insult us as if you are better than anyone else. Having to repeat yourself 1,000 times isn’t that bad. Hell, the people here can tell you 1,001 times that men are better than women, and you still wouldn’t get it.
You asshole. You have no right to say these things about women..
and you know what? You’re are just some attention seeking dumbass who has no life. Get out of the twenties and focus in on the twentieth century..
Oh and for your reason of “Jesus is a male” um.. newsflash JESUS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN BORN IF NOT FOR A WOMAN! Im not some man-hating feminist but seriously you’re a fucking douchebag. You have the perfect name , Dick seeing as you, you motherfucking loner, are A DICK.
The reason, you ill-natured simpleton, that women have to repeat things ad nauseum is because some men (not all, but pretty much every one who posts here) are apparently incapable of absorbing and utilizing information until it has been drummed into their microencephalic craniums at least one thousand times. For example, it is likely only now dawning on the mental midget who compiled this sad little list that d’oh, a male sheep is called a ram.
So, you have proved that you are a whore, still we are not impresed, you are so booooring.
Everything you wrote here is a sweeping generalisation with no critical thinking involved. So, allow me to pick at random one of the ‘facts’ you got very wrong.
“No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit.”
OK, if you study the history of Judeo-Christian religions, you’ll find that (if you are capable of putting two and two together this is) it was the Goddess who was regarded as most high, and not a male god. These ancient belief systems (Paganism, Mayanism, Druidism etc), which had been around for thousands and thousands of years, were systematically corrupted by people (ahem, MEN, ahem) who wanted to control the masses and gain power themselves. The books of the Bible were cherry picked and changed and the Gospel according to Mary Magdalene was discarded - some say it lies hidden in the Vatican today. Anyway I could go on, but like I said this was a quick example.
Oh and I’ll save you from giving the me usual stupid non-thought-about insults by answering them first:
1)I’m not a feminist, and I love men (the ones who are not idiots, that is) and find them wonderfully fascinating and interesting people. Got it? NOT A MAN HATING FEMINIST.
2)I’m not somebody who doesn’t know when to shut up and I agree that it is mindless bullshit that comes out of most talkative people’s mouths - although I haven’t experienced this coming more from women as you seem to have, perhaps change the bait if you don’t like what you attract?
3)I love sex with men but the thought of sleeping with someone who has the opinions of a draconian piece of trailer trash with the IQ of a monkfish sends shivers down my spine. Maybe YOUR women don’t like sex, mate…but I’ve got a feeling that its your problem not theirs…
4) As for the ridiculous comment about women being ’sheep’, well all I can say to that is SOME women are sheep, but clearly so are some men as these re-hashed, stereotypical ramblings prove.
If you had done your research a little bit then you’d know you’re having an argument with a sociopath.
That would include you own statement then.
Really? That has to be in all caps?
“No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit.” Wow someone didnt do any research! if you actually look this up you’ll find out that there have been several!!!
oh and by the way alot of you “manly men’s” comments sound like female bitching! so you just think about that the next time you try tell someone off “like a man!”