Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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PERFECT!
I could not agree more with men being better then women! it is self explanatory! We have lived way to long doing nothing about this issue! As previously said woman are one of the cost of why men are being scammed! for those who are marry half of their pay checks goes out to taking care of woman/creatures needs! Everything men do is because of women now a days. Seriously why the hell do we have to buy an extraordinary house! why do we need to get the sports cars, why do we need to have everything clean in our rooms. why do we need to take care of ourselves as much, well my answer for this is because of woman!! we have invested so much time into impressing woman that we do not realize that they have stolen plenty of our time! I as a man say i have had ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT, AND WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING BEFORE THIS KEEPS ON GOING!!!!
Women are slaves who belong in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning day and night.
Can you fuck off when I did not ask you a question? Besides nobody likes you here, you are already a history, so go away and try to find someone who will pretend they are interested in your gimicks.
You’ve totally got a point there.
Shut up, lard bucket.
“Most” of the statements you stated about “Women” are false but i “Will” give you credit for using the word “Fuck” for over a million times which i think is pretty funny for “Anybody” like you
Can you ask a question that makes any sense? And you say we lack in logic!
You’ve totally got a point there.
So why do you keep thinking about them so much to the point they piss you off? And when you masturbate why you don’t think of a nice Johny who is willing to follow you and treat you like all his hapiness depend on you, but insted you think about these “jerks”? Can you honestly answer this?
I think both sexes can be equal, but everyone has differences. I believe it is my duty to make my boyfriend happy as it is his duty to make me happy too. COMPROMISE people. A lot of the men I know think they are always right and it pisses me off so much. I feel like the lower one in the group because I am a girl even though I am in college and they are not. It’s fucking ridiculous. Men need to let go of their “I AM THE ALL MIGHTY” complex. Fucking idiots.
I am a woman.
10.I can go hours without talking. I have not talked for 2 hours right now. I listen. I am the quiet one out of all the guys I hang out with.
9.Male sheep are rams. I do not change situations. I go along with the flow.
8.I do not understand what you meant by “women are racists”. Everything that you mentioned had nothing to do with races. Also I do not hate my wardrobe. I have other things to think about. I do not hate life.
7.I agree with that but most of the older women I know do a lot more than men the same age. Men just get weak faster.
6.I know guys who write neater than I do. I don’t give a flying fuck who can read my writing. If a professor needs to read something of mine I type it up.
5.Jesus most likely was not real. Even if he was who gave birth to him? A WOMAN.
4.I used to wear a watch until I destroyed it, because I am rough with things. My boyfriend doesn’t wear a watch. I don’t know the women you know but I sure as hell cannot stare at my bracelets for an hour. The women you know must have mental problems, especially if they hang out with you.
3.The only reason men destroy stuff is because that’s what the testosterone makes them want to do. It’s not always for the good. I have lived my whole life with mainly guys. A lot of my stuff has been broken for no reason along with their stuff. It’s so pointless.
2.Marriage was not created just for that reason. Fathers wanted to inherit more wealth so they gave their daughter to the best man. Men have always been rude ignorant pigs who do not care about others feelings. Only greed.
1.Penises do not make a person better. It’s a fucking muscle. Who the fuck cares? All you do is sit around and compare them. Maybe you should grow the fuck up.
Ahg you are the biggest fucking idiot I have ever come across on the Internet and that is saying something. GOOD FUCKING JOB ASSFACE.
What women want - Starring Mel Gibson
Good night Chris,
MANCLUSION:
That’s why when a woman “says” what she wants - IGNORE IT.
Its not a man’s responsibility to give it to her.
Do not wonder “what women want”.
Its NOT YOUR responsibility to give it to her.
When she ask you for something - like a wedding that wasn’t your idea - just say NO. It’s NOT YOUR responsibility to give it to her.
Then women are FUN!
Good night guys!
@MARK - LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!
I know! Women will say “I just want a man to love me” ON A FIRST DATE!!!!
Most women will say that before they met a man! Before they fucked a man. Before a second date. Before they have done ANYTHING AT ALL!
Sick Bitch is RIGHT!
FUCK! NO KIDDING! When I hear a woman say “I WANT” , and “I JUST WANT”, it makes me see RED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What kind of a SICK BITCH says “I JUST WANT A MAN TO LOVE ME”.
“Loving” a woman is a very big fucking deal.
And they talk like is its “JUST” something a man is supposed to do.
Gimme a fucking break.
@ Chris
Same hare, I saw the video thanks, same conclusion - all backwards.
What men don’t know for ex about women is that women have an overwheling desire to give. For ex my gf just returned from abroad and she brought me two gifts. First she has texted me that she has a gift for me. Her business trip was all secondary to her, the most important was if I like the gift. Then turns out she brought me 2 gifts. I ashed her why? she said; I felt like one gift was not enough. Both 2 things were the most expensive ones she bought there.
. . . that’s why whenever I hear a woman say “I just want a man to LOVE ME and RESPECT ME” . . . .
I always say: “Stop Right There. If a man doesn’t love you and respect you, sweety –>> IT’S YOUR FUCKING FAULT.”
NOT HIS!!
@STUDIOLINE - YES! PERFECT!
I saw a video on youtube “DONT GET MARRIED STUPID!!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgS4s8uY_p8
This guy has everything –>> BACKWARDS. COMPLETELY WRONG.
And he is VERY VERY PISSED OFF.
• “You cannot win with women.”
• “You cannot do anything good enough for women.”
• “Nothing to do to make a woman happy is good enough for women.”
IT IS TOTAL BULLSHIT.
Why? Because he feels it is HIS responsibilty to give a woman whatever she says she wants.
AND THAT IS BULLSHIT.
A MAN SHOULD NEVER FEEL IT IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY
TO GIVE A WOMAN WHATEVER SHE “SAYS” SHE WANTS.
Whenever a woman wants ANYTHING from you - including a wedding - JUST SAY NO!
Done.
All your problems, and anger, and frustration are now GONE!
Never give a woman a direct answer to a question UNLESS IT IS —>> NO.
Why?
Because SHE SHOULD WORK AT MAKING YOU WANT TO GIVE HER THOSE THINGS VOLUNTARILY. She should not be asking you for them. If a woman wants you to love her, then she must be lovable. If she wants you to marry her, then she must work at being the kind of woman a man WANTS to marry.
etc.
THATS IMPORTANT!