Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women

MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.

Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.

Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com

10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.

9. Men are not sponges

Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.

8. Women are racists

Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.

7. Men live less than women

The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!

6. Men write illegibly

Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.

5. Jesus was a man

Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.

4. Men wear watches

Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.

A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.

3. Boys destroy things

The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!

2. Marriage is stupid

Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.

Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.

1. Men have penises

When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’

Men Are Better Than Women.

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8,973 Comments in 7296 threads.»

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Comment by Anne
2008-07-12 04:32:52 - IP Man-Hash: ca07872cf45a0

Ever thought there’s more to a woman than stereotypes? Here you go on stereotyping woman, and that WOMEN stereotype other people, but hey, y’know you’re incredibly sexist.

No wonder you havent had a girlfriend in 60 years.

 
Comment by The Man
2008-07-12 01:59:19 - IP Man-Hash: a875e1b533004

Magnolia said:

Oh lord, you people are sad. Just because the lot of you were born to and are attracted by lazy, dim-witted sluts doesn’t mean you can’t look beyond the scopes of your own blinkered existences and take note of what is actually going on in the world.

And if you’d stop obtaining your wives and girl friends from street corners and strip clubs, you might notice that there is a little more variety available. I mean, if I went and picked my husband from the corner stool at the sports bar and assumed that he was the prototype for all men, I might assume that all men were ignorant, bigoted dimwits with interests only in what sort of ball made it through what sort of goal, and how many times, the components of an alternator, and breasts. Fortunately, being a woman, I am not quite that stunned, so I took advantage of what the world had to offer. Some of you sadsacks might want to look into doing something like that yourselves - you might find your lives improved greatly.

Sluts are the women who attract the men, sluts are the cock magnets, sluts are attractive. Sluts are sexually irresistible. And what’s with the “lord” appeal? Get your sad outmoded deluded sin based brainwashed mind off a ludicrous deity and start worshiping glorious man cock and embracing hedonism. And stop banging on about the world, politicians are paid to take your mind off that, your job is to service man meat.

 
Comment by bola
2008-07-12 00:32:41 - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a

chris said:

Ok, I will . An opinion cannot be incorrect. Seeing as, my friend,an opinion is not true nor false . It is what that person thinks in their mind about a certain subject. So , therefore, an opinion cannot be wrong.

Let’s study this phenomenon. Here you can see an important reason why women have achieved so little: a total lack of intellectual discipline.

 
Comment by bola
2008-07-12 00:28:58 - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a

None of your Business said:

None of those are fucking true. I bet you are a middle-aged man living in your parents’ basement. Wait till your mom finds this site, you’ll be in your room in your spongebob footsie pajamas crying for days.

You just lost a bet.

 
Comment by Arbalest
2008-07-11 22:46:46 - IP Man-Hash: 71668767eef68

Right, why go to the corner when you can meet such classy and humble women here! They’re so good at explaining their opinion and not grouping people together! Perfect mates

 
Comment by Chris
2008-07-11 19:18:38 - IP Man-Hash: 26ae30c2e799b

Op

chris said:
It is what that person thinks in their mind about a certain subject.
So , therefore, an opinion cannot be wrong.

Opinions are like assholes . . . .

Everybody’s got one.

 
Comment by Magnolia
2008-07-11 19:17:56 - IP Man-Hash: 435324d394839

Oh lord, you people are sad. Just because the lot of you were born to and are attracted by lazy, dim-witted sluts doesn’t mean you can’t look beyond the scopes of your own blinkered existences and take note of what is actually going on in the world.

And if you’d stop obtaining your wives and girl friends from street corners and strip clubs, you might notice that there is a little more variety available. I mean, if I went and picked my husband from the corner stool at the sports bar and assumed that he was the prototype for all men, I might assume that all men were ignorant, bigoted dimwits with interests only in what sort of ball made it through what sort of goal, and how many times, the components of an alternator, and breasts. Fortunately, being a woman, I am not quite that stunned, so I took advantage of what the world had to offer. Some of you sadsacks might want to look into doing something like that yourselves - you might find your lives improved greatly.

 
Comment by chris
2008-07-11 18:59:37 - IP Man-Hash: 6f8d8336a05db

Trolls are everywhere. said:

Kassi said:

i love how you classify every woman to be the same thing, all women are whores, all women are crazy, and all women are lazy. that is such a load of crap, i is men like you that have even made women like that. o look at me im a man i have a penis so i can do whatever the fuck i want, i hope every man who agrees with this crap burns in hell, and i hope any woman you marry sleeps with your brother. there are some fucked up women in this world and there are some whores but if u seriously believe there are no good women in this world then you dont deserve to have one. i have met alot of men who have been cheated on and all i can think is what is wrong with women today, then i realize where it came from, some christian asshole decided women were the devil probably to cover up some davinci code bullshit. this website should be sued, and you people on it are worse then racists and i bet i can find a bunch of rapists and sex offenders on here, you people are the scum of the earth, your worse than sale people. i have opinions and i have the right to have them because of a little thing called the 14th amendment. hilary clinton needs to give you a slap in the face. women do not hate sex and i dot know how you can think that when you call them whores. most men are too incompetant to know how to please a woman so its no wonder they sleep around the way the do, it took me 15 men to finally have an orgasm and i was lucky enough to find one who knew what the fuck he was doing and wasn’t such a woman hater.you people have obviously just been fucked over by women and you cant see past that. instead you have to demoralize all women and call them all whores because you cant get over yourself and your tiny penises.

You may have opinions, but your opinions are wrong. You can’t even type grammatically correct or spell correctly or formulate proper sentences because of how much you raged at being wrong in every aspect you lived your life by to date.

Prove me wrong.

Ok, I will . An opinion cannot be incorrect. Seeing as, my friend,an opinion is not true nor false . It is what that person thinks in their mind about a certain subject. So , therefore, an opinion cannot be wrong.

 
Comment by Misty
2008-07-11 18:04:16 - IP Man-Hash: 44571369c78c6

Suck my dick. =]

 
Comment by Muzalon
2008-07-11 17:36:12 - IP Man-Hash: c16fe8edc8558

Commander Scott said:

Stephanie said:

Yay man-power!
You insecure dumb fucks. lol.

Without the greater physical strength and higher intelligence of the human male, civilization would cease to exist. Can you imagine a civilization run by women? Given the fact that women have lower intelligence and creativity than men, such a society would be characterized by virtually no technological innovation or scientific discovery whatsoever; given the fact that women are less aggressive and physically weaker than men, society would be in a state of permanent chaos, only to be frequently disrupted by the activities of violent criminals. If civilization were to suddenly become matriarchal overnight, we would (to paraphrase Camille Paglia) be living like half-naked savages in grass huts.

Aye… not a little like the matriarchal western underclass…

 
Comment by Kossu
2008-07-11 17:29:27 - IP Man-Hash: c31ba8b891302

Dude you are fucking epic :D

 
Comment by Matt
2008-07-11 16:49:34 - IP Man-Hash: e5ad81745f47e

None of your Business said:

None of those are fucking true. I bet you are a middle-aged man living in your parents’ basement. Wait till your mom finds this site, you’ll be in your room in your spongebob footsie pajamas crying for days.

No betting necessary. There are pictures of him on this website and he talks about himself quite frequently. Do your research please before posting.

 
Comment by None of your Business
2008-07-11 16:24:37 - IP Man-Hash: 87a5696773b90

None of those are fucking true. I bet you are a middle-aged man living in your parents’ basement. Wait till your mom finds this site, you’ll be in your room in your spongebob footsie pajamas crying for days.

 
Comment by bola
2008-07-11 14:36:04 - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a

Stephanie said:

You insecure dumb fucks. lol.

We’re not the ones whimpering about discrimination, demanding affirmative action and quotas because we can’t compete.

 
Comment by Commander Scott
2008-07-11 14:15:22 - IP Man-Hash: f0b0bc078845e

Stephanie said:

Yay man-power!
You insecure dumb fucks. lol.

Without the greater physical strength and higher intelligence of the human male, civilization would cease to exist. Can you imagine a civilization run by women? Given the fact that women have lower intelligence and creativity than men, such a society would be characterized by virtually no technological innovation or scientific discovery whatsoever; given the fact that women are less aggressive and physically weaker than men, society would be in a state of permanent chaos, only to be frequently disrupted by the activities of violent criminals. If civilization were to suddenly become matriarchal overnight, we would (to paraphrase Camille Paglia) be living like half-naked savages in grass huts.

 
Comment by Commander Scott
2008-07-11 14:04:57 - IP Man-Hash: f0b0bc078845e

Stephanie said:
Um, no. Many women actually like sex. You dumb ass.

If that is the case, then why are so many women brutally raped by the hundreds of thousands each year? Women are raped because the overwhelming majority of women are frigid, naturally monogamous creatures who harbour a strong natural aversion towards all forms of human sexuality.

 
Comment by Stephanie
2008-07-11 13:54:06 - IP Man-Hash: 0133dc661c0ac

Yay man-power!
You insecure dumb fucks. lol.

 
Comment by Stephanie
2008-07-11 13:47:31 - IP Man-Hash: 0133dc661c0ac

studioline said:

English/Irish said:

wtf? this website is bullshit and so is dick, women deserve their rights, you self righteous sexist little cunt, how the fuck can you say things like this about women? your mum is a woman for christs sake, wtf have you got against them? well if you dont like women i guess your gay and wont know the wonderous and fulfilling experience of loving and being loved by a woman, btw they are not objects and cannot be “owned”

If you hate men then by your own standard you are gay too. LOL

They didn’t say they hated men, you twist other’s words around, you self-rightious dumb shit.

 
Comment by Stephanie
2008-07-11 13:41:34 - IP Man-Hash: 0133dc661c0ac

Mark said:

AHA! Gotcha. But that won’t ever happen, because all women are whores who don’t see the point in having sex unless they get something else out of it. Love. Respect. A commitment. Whatever.

That’s why they are destined to be miserable, because that won’t ever change. They are taught by other WOMEN (not MEN like you) that withholding sex will get them more. And it DOES NOT WORK.

Right?

Um, no. Many women actually like sex. You dumb ass.

 
Comment by eliott4113
2008-07-11 02:52:25 - IP Man-Hash: 2c3cb50a2167b

Women have been proving for the last 30 years that men have been right for the last 30 centuries!

 
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