Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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No problem so what would you like to talk about insted?
Cheers,
Dear Bola,
You’re right, but as long as we don’t let their posts outnumber ours. I’m new here. Who moderates this site?
Micho
“Exception to the rule”
Google it.
For shits and giggles google “female chess players”.
Men > women
On the contrary, sites where feminists are barred are boring as hell. Nothing is more satisfactory than kicking these trolls in the teeth.
This beautiful site is ruined by letting every body post. This site is against feminists, so how do we allow the feminists and their supporters to post here? Shall we care about their opinion? In my dictionary, “NO friendship with the feminists, whoever and whatever.”
They will destroy our site if we let them post here. Since they are lesbians or feminists, why do they come to our site? They have their own sites where men are forbidden to post. I’ve tried many times to enter their sites to post but it’s forbidden. Should we then allow them to post here?
Now I will here replies that I am a gay. But I know I love men. I don’t hate women, and some rare females are good, but men are much greater, not just greater.
Micho
(pathetic) is a word most women use, and is God not god.
oh god this site is so loving pathethic it’s hilarious.
Is your opinion base on women from this decade?
I’m 33 when I as 23 waiting for elevator in the lobby a very good looking women came up to me and asked two questions
“What do you do for living and how much do you make”
If your opinion is base on women from this century you should look up Maria Skłodowska–Curie
http://www.staff.amu.edu.pl/~zbzw/ph/sci/msc.htm
Looking forward to hear from you
Rafal.
HAHA this is classic commander Scott, way to go brother.
Yap noneya-poor argument, guys are right,
You got three holes there, and you expect to cover it up???
Why is it so hard for you to stop being a lying whore?? you can’t cheat us, so what’s the point??? cheating yourself??? and where are you gonna go from there???
I was going to say in her mouth, but since she’s talking out of her ass…
Yeah, seems like a fair and balanced article.
An honorary doctorate shouldn’t be too far away.
Lucky a man invented the Internet so I could study your work.
Keep up the solid research!
Like up your ass, you frigid cunt?
MEN HAVE A PENIS BUT THEY HAVE TO PUT IT IN SOMETHING.
Women should know about that.
My research on hemophilia shows me that you are an idiot. Haemophilia is carried by both sexes but only affects men. And it is inherited from the mother. Fathers cannot pass haemophilia onto their sons, only mothers do.
The evidence just keeps piling up.
Particularly for you, since your brain doesn’t seem to be getting enough oxygen as it is.
men are the only ones that can carry the hemophilia gene. sucks to lose blood. =/
Speaking for myself, I am in the 98th percentile. I am quite certain that I am much, much smarter than you.
I may have used the word “misogynist” (and jeez, spell it properly, won’t you?), but otherwise, I haven’t used the others. Failure, yes. Negative, yes. But not the other two. Though I must say you do come across as quite the world-class asshole (something to be proud of, man - number one in your asshole class).
I’m not American either, so don’t you worry your silly pointy little head about running into me.
Reading this post, I less than impressed. I can appreciate a good argument with some meat on it, but this was all bone man.
Perhaps you need to get laid more.