Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women

MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.

Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.

Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com

10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.

9. Men are not sponges

Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.

8. Women are racists

Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.

7. Men live less than women

The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!

6. Men write illegibly

Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.

5. Jesus was a man

Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.

4. Men wear watches

Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.

A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.

3. Boys destroy things

The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!

2. Marriage is stupid

Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.

Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.

1. Men have penises

When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’

Men Are Better Than Women.

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7,687 Comments in 7085 threads.»

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Comment by Magnolia
2008-07-16 19:08:32

eliott4113 said:
nonesence = none sense

Actually, it’s nonsense. Though in the context used, should be nonsensical.

 
Comment by eliott4113
2008-07-16 19:01:20

Kayleigh said:

i am a member of MENSA
and no i wont humor you with what you asked me to tell you because us women only copy men APPARENTLY.
and for the vetenary side of things, well animals are just better than humans, man or woman.
I did my math GCSE when I was 8 and i left school for college when i was
13 actually.
im not a pea brain or a fantasist - its just that your jelous that you all are worthless people who have nothing better to do then sit around and wallow in your own self pity.
Maybe you should do some REAL research, back all of your claims up with evidence and then publish your sad veiws to even sadder people.

its the idiotic veiws that is on this site that fuels war, and greed. It also hinders evolution.
not to mention the amount of guys i showed this site to wet their undies and said that its nonesence babble.
Not everyone agrees with your views. Including men.

please note if you are all trying to offend, belittle or just annoy me it isnt working, both men and women - heck even children piss me off. I dont like any form of human.

Kayleigh,
If you claim you are an intellectual like you say you are (which you are not) you wouldn’t be divulging it, now would you? real Intellectuals are not self proclaimed, they allow people to discover that , and that is just some people that would say you might be an intellectual (maybe the ones with a lower level of knowledge), to me the time you started saying you were an intellectual that was the time I figured you were just a “wanna be”. Better luck next time, and try harder…Much harder. And learn how to spell properly before you even try to convince anyone that you are an intellectual. The following list is just a few words I noticed you can’t spell properly (the word on the right side is the correct spelling, left side is your wrong spelling):
i = I
vetenary = veterinary
im = I’m
jelous = jealous
veiws = views
nonesence = none sense
isnt = isn’t
dont = don’t
Oh and just for the fun of it, I will mention this one again:
electronical = electronics (lol this mistake is my favorite one since I’m an electronics engineer)

Anyways, makes no sense to me that even after being a woman and super smart you can’t even spell properly, usually women are very good at spelling and grammar, you are a woman right? You said you left to college when you were 13,
I’d say you need to go back to elementary and pronto!

 
Comment by Chris
2008-07-16 18:53:44

Well seriously. I mean come on. Who the fuck does a woman think she is saying “I just want a man to love me, and a respect me” within 15 minutes of a first date.

Unless she’s a 400-horsepower sperm vacuum,
she should just shut the fuck up.

 
Comment by Mark
2008-07-16 18:49:38

Chris - That was manlarious! I sprayed my beer all over my screen. You owe me a new computer. Fuck.

 
Comment by Chris
2008-07-16 18:20:28

eliott4113 said:

I totally agree with you..we don’t have to do what woman want, I because they don’t even know what they want themselves.

Interesting you said it that way, because THAT’S what ALOT of men say. “Women don’t even know what they want”. But these guys STILL care too much about what women want. Noone should give a flying fuck what women want - EVER - AT ANY TIME. Its a MASSIVE loss of man points.

IF BITCH WANTS SOMETHING…
MEN TELL HER —>> YOU WANT TO GIVE IT TO HER VOLUNTARILY.
NOT BECAUSE SHE “SAID SO”… OR ASKED.

Now she can get busy EARNING IT.Don’t tell ME sweety, tell my salty balls what you really want. They will care more than I do.

• Men don’t get a raise / promotion / corner office because they “said so”.

• Men don’t split the fucking atom because they “wanted it to happen”.

• Men don’t “change their mind” about shit they want.

We pinned a poster of that shit on the back of our doors when they were 14, we will DIE to get it if we have to, and we would NEVER ASK A FUCKING WOMAN TO GIVE IT TO US FOR NO GODDAM REASON.

I dont’ CARE that women don’t know what they want. And I strongly recommend to EVERY man I meet NEVER TO GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT A WOMAN WANTS. That’s HER fuckin’ business. Even when she starts talking about it . . . “I want” . . . .” I want” . . . . even on a first date.

SHE: “I just want a man to love me and respect me. Is that too much to ask?”

ME:” YES!!! THATS TOO FUCKING MUCH TO ASK FROM A MAN WHO’S COCK YOU HAVEN”T EVEN SUCKED YET. UNTIL YOU BASE THIS MONSTER TO THE BALLS, I DONT FUCKIN’ CARE WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT, YOU GREEDY FUCKIN’ WHORE.”

It feels wonderful to say it like that.

Women need to hear that from EVERY MAN THEY MEET everytime they start a fucking sentence with:

• “I want”
• “I just wish ”
• “You know what I would like?”

NO. I DON’T CARE. SUCK MY COCK.

Menarebetterthanwomen.

Thanks for the laugh guys.
Always a pleasure.

 
Comment by Hans
2008-07-16 18:06:58

In German Mensa means canteen. That´s basically what this club is.
A bunch of people that are pretty good at shoveling shit into their brains.
Nothing special to it, just a natural byproduct of their genes.

But still with this “vast” advantage you can´t see the simple truth that practically all your knowledge was generated by men, and extrapolate the obvious conclusion. You (and your mangina friends) naively believe in feminism and it´s ridiculous straw man “The Patriarchy”.

Well good luck then with the rest of your life. Hope your 40 cats will keep you happy until you croak alone. Don´t worry about the funeral, the cats will take care of your remains.

 
Comment by osirisofthesun
2008-07-16 17:51:05

Kayleigh said:

i am a member of MENSA
and no i wont humor you with what you asked me to tell you because us women only copy men APPARENTLY.
and for the vetenary side of things, well animals are just better than humans, man or woman.
I did my math GCSE when I was 8 and i left school for college when i was 13 actually.
im not a pea brain or a fantasist - its just that your jelous that you all are worthless people who have nothing better to do then sit around and wallow in your own self pity.
Maybe you should do some REAL research, back all of your claims up with evidence and then publish your sad veiws to even sadder people.

its the idiotic veiws that is on this site that fuels war, and greed. It also hinders evolution.
not to mention the amount of guys i showed this site to wet their undies and said that its nonesence babble.
Not everyone agrees with your views. Including men.

please note if you are all trying to offend, belittle or just annoy me it isnt working, both men and women - heck even children piss me off. I dont like any form of human.

We do have evidence to back up what’s on the site. Your post is evidence enough that you don’t belong to MENSA.

 
Comment by Kayleigh
2008-07-16 17:09:47

i am a member of MENSA
and no i wont humor you with what you asked me to tell you because us women only copy men APPARENTLY.
and for the vetenary side of things, well animals are just better than humans, man or woman.
I did my math GCSE when I was 8 and i left school for college when i was 13 actually.
im not a pea brain or a fantasist - its just that your jelous that you all are worthless people who have nothing better to do then sit around and wallow in your own self pity.
Maybe you should do some REAL research, back all of your claims up with evidence and then publish your sad veiws to even sadder people.

its the idiotic veiws that is on this site that fuels war, and greed. It also hinders evolution.
not to mention the amount of guys i showed this site to wet their undies and said that its nonesence babble.
Not everyone agrees with your views. Including men.

please note if you are all trying to offend, belittle or just annoy me it isnt working, both men and women - heck even children piss me off. I dont like any form of human.

 
Comment by kalel
2008-07-16 16:01:13

wow , that guy is really pissed of at women :)))))

 
Comment by eliott4113
2008-07-16 15:09:23

Chris said:

eliott4113 said:

The Husband Store… . . . proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

@ELIOTT…

Its not that “women are impossible to please”…. the men who think they ARE, are the ones who waste their time and energy trying to please (and appease) WOMEN.

–>> instead of THEMSELVES.

Here’s one now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgS4s8uY_p8&feature=related

He is SO PISSED OFF about trying to please women that if he just said “NO” everytime a women wants something - or SAYS she wants something - all of his problem and anger would magically just VANISH.

Its not that “women are impossible to please”…. the men who think they ARE, are the ones who waste their time and energy trying to please (and appease) WOMEN.

Whenever a woman says she wants something (including a wedding) - JUST SAY “NO”.

Done.

FACT: It’s not a man’s repsonsibility to give ANY woman whatever she “says” she wants… or asks for. Its a man’s responsibility to give himself whatever HE wants.

Not too many guys know that.
They just bitch about women being “impossible to please”.

And ANY MAN can end that problem in zero-point-five seconds.

Because menarebetterthanwomen.

I totally agree with you..we don’t have to do what woman want, I because they don’t even know what they want themselves.

 
Comment by Chris
2008-07-16 13:10:31

eliott4113 said:

The Husband Store… . . . proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

@ELIOTT…

Its not that “women are impossible to please”…. the men who think they ARE, are the ones who waste their time and energy trying to please (and appease) WOMEN.

–>> instead of THEMSELVES.

Here’s one now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgS4s8uY_p8&feature=related

He is SO PISSED OFF about trying to please women that if he just said “NO” everytime a women wants something - or SAYS she wants something - all of his problem and anger would magically just VANISH.

Its not that “women are impossible to please”…. the men who think they ARE, are the ones who waste their time and energy trying to please (and appease) WOMEN.

Whenever a woman says she wants something (including a wedding) - JUST SAY “NO”.

Done.

FACT: It’s not a man’s repsonsibility to give ANY woman whatever she “says” she wants… or asks for. Its a man’s responsibility to give himself whatever HE wants.

Not too many guys know that.
They just bitch about women being “impossible to please”.

And ANY MAN can end that problem in zero-point-five seconds.

Because menarebetterthanwomen.

 
Comment by eliott4113
2008-07-16 12:34:16

Even if you can find the answers for these easy questions (you will probably google them) it will not make you better than a men, I challenge you any day against electronics and mechanics I won’t do it with veterinary care because I hate the stinky smell of animals, but other that that you can try me if you dare.

 
Comment by eliott4113
2008-07-16 11:49:30

Kayleigh said:

Hmm
I dont agree with anything on this site.
I am a tattoo artist - i own my own studio. I have 18 A levels. And 43 GCSE’s all at A* grade - these include Mechanics. car maintenance, electronical engineering. And I am only 19
I have over 30 pets, i also have an A-level in vetenary care.
I work all the hours god sends so I dont “sponge” off anyone.
My salary is more than what most men will get in ten years.
Not all women are how you guys see us. So please dont put me in the dumbass “oh look at me im paris freakin hilton” category. I have brains and i can accept peoples veiws even though i dont agree with them.

just tell us women with brains what you have achieved in your lives. im probably half the age that you all are.

OK, since you know about electronic engineering can you tell me the formula for the ohms law, the charge of an electron (- or +) and charge of a proton (- or +) and the charge of a neutron? also the color code for the resistors at least first 5 color codes? the function of a resistor?, all this is very basic in electronics (not electronical like you call it it ) I can also ask you a few thing in the mechanical department but lets just see how well you do on these first.

 
Comment by Muzalon
2008-07-16 11:20:55

Kayleigh said:

Hmm
I dont agree with anything on this site.
I am a tattoo artist - i own my own studio. I have 18 A levels. And 43 GCSE’s all at A* grade - these include Mechanics. car maintenance, electronical engineering. And I am only 19
I have over 30 pets, i also have an A-level in vetenary care.
I work all the hours god sends so I dont “sponge” off anyone.
My salary is more than what most men will get in ten years.
Not all women are how you guys see us. So please dont put me in the dumbass “oh look at me im paris freakin hilton” category. I have brains and i can accept peoples veiws even though i dont agree with them.

just tell us women with brains what you have achieved in your lives. im probably half the age that you all are.

Pea-brain, bullshitting fantasist.

 
Comment by eliott4113
2008-07-16 11:14:10

And yet is also very amusing to see them run around lost.

 
Comment by micho
2008-07-16 11:12:34

No problem so what would you like to talk about insted?

Cheers,

All topics here are great. I want to thank the moderators and owners of this site. My great thanks to these pioneer men. I would like to add their names to my site where I list the pioneer men.

Cheers,
Micho

 
Comment by eliott4113
2008-07-16 11:12:13

This proves that women don’t know what they want…Poor little things, they seem so confused in life.

 
Comment by eliott4113
2008-07-16 11:05:31

The Husband Store…
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where
a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the
value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may
choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down
except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the
first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign
reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good
Looking.

‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good
Looking and Help With Housework.

‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous,
Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where
the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no
men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives
store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like
beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

 
Comment by kalel
2008-07-16 10:48:42

micho said:
Now I will here replies that I am a gay. But I know I love men. I don’t hate women, and some rare females are good, but men are much greater, not just greater.

Micho

Micho , you’re gay ????????? or you made an error in typing ????? gays are not biological men , gays were infested with estrogen in the womb when brain was developing , so your brain is fucked up. Gays and lesbians are mutants , so they are not women nor men .Their women , and men genes , were not supported when brain was forming in the womb by the proper hormones , and so mutants formed. These mutants are probably the reason why women think that men and women are the same .

Pollution and chemicals are the main reason for forming these mutants, there were mutants before pollution and chemicals but in drastically lower numbers compared with the population . So I do not recognize you as a man !!!!

Kayleigh said:

Hmm
I dont agree with anything on this site.
I am a tattoo artist - i own my own studio. I have 18 A levels. And 43 GCSE’s all at A* grade - these include Mechanics. car maintenance, electronical engineering. And I am only 19
I have over 30 pets, i also have an A-level in vetenary care.
I work all the hours god sends so I dont “sponge” off anyone.
My salary is more than what most men will get in ten years.
Not all women are how you guys see us. So please dont put me in the dumbass “oh look at me im paris freakin hilton” category. I have brains and i can accept peoples veiws even though i dont agree with them.

just tell us women with brains what you have achieved in your lives. im probably half the age that you all are.

if you’re 19 then those “Mechanics. car maintenance, electronical engineering” were learned superficial in shit courses, unless you’re a genius and you finished high school at 10 years and then started college , but there are no women genius . I never said women can’t learn , it’s the way you learn , you learn by copying and memorising, men learn by making logical spatial mathematical physical chemical cognitive thinking . That’s why men don’t bother learning in school to much, because that’s how they think , they don’t need school , those men that learn in school are those that really evolve the technology.

All you learn in school is man made 100% , no women came up with a theory about anything , with no laws in math and etc ,only men did , because that’s how men brain works .Women brain works by memorising and copying what she sees , because scientifically testes showed that when men and women think at the same thing they use different parts in brain , when thinking at anything , any shit , we use different parts of the brain .

Men thinking has revealed how the universe works, and men divided it in math , physics , chemistry and biology. Women can copy this , but can’t do anything with it , because women do not learn by understanding what they learn , just by copying , men learn by understanding. It’s a huge difference when it comes to say what way is more valuable .Men way of thinking represents 4 million years of evolution on life on this planet , so if you can copy us but that doesn’t mean we are equal .

Men were build to evolve the species , androgens are man hormones , they’re steroids , that pump up the body and brain if they’re present when the fetus develops at 6 months , in life they are needed to sustain it , and this androgens coupled with the other men genes made this thinking posibile and the body bigger and stonger with muscles and strong bones , and 13% bigger brain too.

So I don’t say women are dumb when it comes to learn something , because they can copy those things , but women don not understand not even a bit of what are about , just what they are good for , they make links between information , what is where , and what were belongs . Men on the other hand learn only by understanding , they don’t copy anything ,because this is how men brain works .

Even though you can copy man made things , that doesn’t make us equal when it comes to whom would have been more advanced if it were only men or only women. If there weren’t men , women would not have whom to copy , and probably never got down from the trees in the jungle , and remained just a another specie of monkeys. While men would have been much more advanced than they are now , because the constant need for reproduction it’s a waste of time ,just 2 minutes a year would be more than enough to release sperm, this assuming that babies would have been made somehow .

 
Comment by studioline
2008-07-16 09:57:13

Kayleigh said:

Hmm
I dont agree with anything on this site.
I am a tattoo artist - i own my own studio. I have 18 A levels. And 43 GCSE’s all at A* grade - these include Mechanics. car maintenance, electronical engineering. And I am only 19
I have over 30 pets, i also have an A-level in vetenary care.
I work all the hours god sends so I dont “sponge” off anyone.
My salary is more than what most men will get in ten years.
Not all women are how you guys see us. So please dont put me in the dumbass “oh look at me im paris freakin hilton” category. I have brains and i can accept peoples veiws even though i dont agree with them.

just tell us women with brains what you have achieved in your lives. im probably half the age that you all are.

You don’t agree with anything on this site but you see the difference between good and bad girl- that’s a contradiction you forgot to avoid, so it gave you away…

“Nice” try though, but We already have seen this one, so go away, bye.

 
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