Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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Exactly! Amen my man!
YEAH!
♂dBoss iNc.
Epic fucking fail.
What the hell? Who made you a fucking fortuneteller?
Men don’t need “hope” when dealing with women. So take taht out of your system before you attain a self-iconic victory on your prissy, flower filled life filled with joy and pinky butterflies.
Seems to me you’re full of shit all over. Oh yeah, you’re a woman. My mistake, you are a piece of shit.
♂dBoss iNc.
1928376498172364 comedians out of work, and YOU’RE looking for a job.
Give yourSELF some hope and fuck off this website,
because you don’t have a hope here.
You want to accept our differences and move on?
Then why don’t you do EXACTLY THAT.
Accept that Menarebetterthanwoman,
Accept everything that is written here as “our differences”
and move on!
EXCELLENT IDEA!
Now DO it.
Well, i cant control other woman and MAKE them less retarded haha
All i can do is show people that I am not like that.
Im trying to give you guys some hope.
Or do you like being this angry?
Im not trying to offend you.
YOU CAN’T.
If not all women are “that way” they will make the effort to prove it themselves.
Until they do, MEN ALREADY KNOW BETTER.
Go sell crazy someplace else.
Nahh more like a:
“Mother’s genes alright.”
♂dBoss iNc.
Im not trying to make it about me, I just want to prove to you that not ALL woman are what you say.
Were not polluting the earth we have been here since the beginning of time, just like you have, no matter what you say you cant get rid of us its impossible, so why not enjoy our company, we are different from eachother, lets excepts our differences and move on.
I bet you someone on her will say
“you dont have any brains to get ripped out in the first place!”
well it doesnt really hurt my feelings, i know its not true. =D
sorry DUDES maybe i shouldnt say anything on this site.
I might get my brains ripped out
=P
Nope. You are TRESPASSING here.
You are where you are NOT WELCOME.
Women are forbidden from being here, reading, posting, calling, commenting and your intrusive behavior will NOT BE REWARDED WITH COURTESY. I can’t believe you even have the gaul to ask for it.
Example:
If you barged into my home and started telling me what’s what, I wouldn’t offer to make you tea. I would tell you to get the fuck out immediately. That’s called having standards.
You don’t get to GO where you are NOT WELCOME and spew your mouth off at men expecting men should reward you and extend you any courtesy.
Leave.
In every fucking sentence you used the word/letter “I”. Seriously, who gives a fucking shit about your perfect little ecstasy-filled life.
Go plug a bull semen-filled bamboo stick up your ass and shut the hell up. Women keep plaguing the site, like they keep polluting this Earth with their mere presence.
A word to the wise: GET THE FUCK OUT!
♂dBoss iNc.
Can you please talk to me like a human being, you dont have to be so rude. I do not lie about things like that. I dont care what people think of me. Also i did not blame you for preteens being like that i just stated that the woman you are talking about sound very immature. You know, you can be nice to me when you talk. I did not call you a piece of shit…
See?
I told you to leave before you get your feelings hurt. (lol)
Can you please talk to me like a human being, you dont have to be so rude. I do not lie about things like that. I dont care what people think of me. Also i did not blame you for preteens being like that i just stated that the woman you are talking about sound very immature. You know, you can be nice to me when you talk. I did not call you a piece of shit…
@VICTORIA
You mean - we are being “BETTER”.
Why would you address men like SUBSTANDARD PRETEEN FEMALE BEHAVIOR is THE MAN’S problem?
If those women don’t even meet YOUR standards,
then how can you call a man “bitter” for not liking it either?
Who LIED and BRAINWASHED you into thinking MEN are interested in women for “CONVERSATION”. Are you crazy? If I want have a conversation, I’m not going to a woman, and I know I’m not alone.
That would be like going to MacDonalds to buy a 50inch Plasma TV.
Pointless.
You are misunderstanding the use of the word CHEAT. Women are like MONKEYS, they don’t let go of one BRANCH, until they have a good grip on the NEXT.
The problem is not that they fuck other guys or sleep around (because men actually LIKE to do that) . . . . what’s wrong with women is that ALL women use SLEASY methods and CHEAT everything, every day of their lives.
Women cheat their, age, weight, height, cupsize, number of cocks they sucked, hair color, looks, nails, lashes, lie about the paternity of their own children, lie about rape, lie about NOT tolerating men who sleep around but they do it themselves, lie about boyfriends, lie to their friends —>> everything women do is CHEATING.
‘Sleeping around’ is not the only CHEATING women do. NOT BY A LONG SHOT.
. . . . but that’s the only CHEATING MEN do where women are concerned.
So again –>> Menarebetterthanwomen.
Interesting. When men do that, YOU call it “bitter”.
The whole message here is that there ARE no ‘good ones’, until the women themselves MAKE THE EFFORT. You all think its up to men to think of you as “good ones” without doing a fucking single thing.
Never gonna happen.
We have better things to do with our lives than “WEED THROUGH YOU” to look for “good ones”. Are you insane? You call yourself ’sensible’ and that’s your advice?
You may spend all of your time WEEDING THROUGH MEN to find one that you call a “good man” but all you are looking for is a WEAK one, who will let you get away with CHEATING him into giving you everything you think you automatically “DESERVE”.
You dismiss the “assholes” because we don’t fall for your crap. We are not actually assholes –>> WE ARE MEN WHO SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU . . . you transparent piece of shit.
Take your terrible female programming elsewhere.
And go feed that bullshit pill to your boyfriend.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Victoria,
Believe it, the great majority of women here in North America are really brainwashed by society and they believe the need to be treated like queens without even earning it, and Paris Hilton is their role model.
Also if your trying to make a friendly conversation you are in the wrong website, this is a man site and for men, if you want to chit-chat I suggest you go elsewhere before you get your feelings hurt.
(Just some man advice here).
well i dont really believe anything on here though,
i mean im 24, and i love sex, I dont just sit there like a lump, i dont talk too much, In fact my boyfriend is a blabber mouth, but its cute.
I know i can make up my own mind, im relatively happy in life.
I love being happy ahah, i read one of the articles saying woman liked being miserable? I don’t think i have ever met someone who likes being unhappy.
Also i have only gotten in one car accident. I mean im no gold digger either. I dont have alot of money, and i dont see a need for it really.
I don’t know what kind of woman you hang out with, but im sorry you have to be with them. they sound awful.
Well just kidding, I don’t really know and I don’t think anyone cares.
No, most of us are on our 20’s and 30’s.
Well thats not completely true, Youll find one someday, are most of the men on here older?
Finally a bit of sense from a woman! but too bad the women you described are extinct or near extinct.