Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
Related Articles:
Pages: [465] 464 463 462 461 460 459 458 457 456 455 … 1 » Show All
I don’t call myself a feminist, nor do I believe that women are capable of doing absolutely everything that men are able to do. However, if anyone actually believes that men are better than women because they have a penis and we don’t, well what good is a penis if no woman is willing to do you in the first place?
Rape?
@jacey: “Women have a sence of style, so they can where it better”. Yea, you are definitely not a dumb hoe. You and that desperate lil feminist whore nina crave for attention, so you post on a site which says “no women allowed”. Because you cant live with the fact that you feminazis are inferior, to men and are a pathetic excuse for women. Nothing “geeky” about giving you slags an education on male superiority.
@nina: The website is for real, girlie. Its definitely more real than your fake tits. You wouldnt post on this site, if you werent offended and so insecure with your inferiority to men. Im man enough to speak freely and have been honest about everything I’ve said so far. You have just assumed shit about the men on this site. “lack communication skills”, how do you communicate with a desperate lil feminazi. You dont! You dumb shit bitches think men should believe in that politically correct shit “men and women are equal”,
Keep dreaming bitches, you’re just another lame feminists who tries to shame men into think women are “equal or better”. Thousands of fat, ugly feminists like you who spend all their time rebelling against men and shaving their armpits have tried to bring this site down. Keep dreaming cunts. That website has been acclaimed by 25,000 people, who have rated it as the most honest and best muscle building program. So eat shit whore! We know all you feminists are gay, so you look at everything around you as gay
Nina, did you seriously post because you thought you would get a “kick” out of it? Or was it because you were desperate to post on a site that doesnt require your lame opinion? For a smart ass girl, “no women allowed” must be pretty tough to understand. Actually against drugs and anything which is not natural, if you checked out my website, you wouldnt make lame assumptions. Besides pill popping was your idea, girlie. Im into sports but Im no boyscout. But Im sure you’re pretty tough, popping pills and you must be pretty skilled…..at knitting.
No girls are allowed on this website? That’s weird because I’m here, I have a vagina, I’m posting comments, I’m having fun watching you get all worked up and then denying your unmanliness and greatly lacking communication skills. Gosh, this “no-females allowed system” isn’t all that effective, huh?
I don’t take prescription drugs, I’m into the natural highs you get from getting little geeky boys who think arguing over the internet makes them macho. Maybe you’d care to join me in my knitting session,
add ” boyscout?” after that comma, kthnx bai.
Apparently the silly little fellows still can’t quite get that you can’t keep women out just by proclaiming that this is a he-man-women-haters club. Pay attention, silly little fellows – the internet doesn’t work that way.
He’s not trying to keep anyone out, ya dumbass
Also, your website looks kind of fake and ghey. Just sayin’…
@nina: Im not upset, girlie. I was merely giving you “sophisticated” feminists a dose of the truth, see you cant go on pretending women are “equal”/”better” than men when men have done all the hard work for the past 4000 yrs and eventhough women have an important role: giving birth, cooking and takin care of the kids. It is still men who run the show.
To be honest, I dont take pills of any sort being in professional sports. But since you and your mom are so into popping pills. I’ll let you both get back in the kitchen and have fun popping pills along with cooking. Dont forget to shave..
You know what I’ve noticed, Raj7. The number one reason why men are better than women, according to a Dick, is the fact that (the majority) of women don’t have penises. He did not mention testicles, though.
You are clearly upset over a comment I wrote in response to an article that didn’t actually offend me (I was bored and thought I’d get a kick out of seeing how many loser, geeksquad men got “uberz offendedzzz” by it and tried to argue with me about it, anonymously.) and was not even directed towards you. Proof enough why testicles haven’t made the list, wouldn’t you say?
And you’re in professional sports! Good job, boyscout. Just make sure to stay away from those performance-enhancing drugs, or you could really mess up the aforementioned problem above.
@nina: Get back in the kitchen cunt! You are a dumb, ungrateful whore who takes advantage of men and their achievements. So, jesus saved a prostitute from death, he was selfless and if it wasnt for him she would have died. Wouldnt it make sense for you pathetic whimmin to be grateful for the fact that a man saved your life and also died so disrespectful lil bitch feminists like you could live. Men go out and fight for the freedom of you pathetic feminazis during war, and you make fun of the stress problems they face when they come home. Dumb shit bitch, thats why females should not be in the army.
Your reason on why women are “better” make all women look like pathetic, manipulating cunts who only take advantage of men and cant do anything by themselves. Just because you are a feminist slut (and there are many of you) doesnt mean all women are like that. Your top 10 reasons actually further prove that men are better than women. You portray men as saviors and selfless (which we are) and its great takin a piss standing up and Im sure you feminist cunts need to shave your armpits. Breast cancer awareness was mainly due to men, dont forget lance armstrong, shit bitch he had testicular cancer wrote a great book and still won cycling championships.
Hey Raj7, you seem a little upset. My mom has some hormone pills that you could really benefit from. ;)
It’s a pity she didn’t take more birth control pills.
Ehhh she was switching prescriptions and didn’t believe in abortion.
Mores the pity…
Not deserving as much pity as the fact that you have nothing witty left to say…
Yet another FINE example of #10 on this list. Congratulations on proving facts, Nina.
You know sarcasm is a human’s natural way of hiding their upset/hurt feelings. Sorry if my cold-heartedness broke your spirit, Zaphod. You keep truckin’, my boy.
@ raj7 Heyy, look Women would still survive without stupid men have you ever heard of lions, WE HUNT FOR YOUR SELFISH MENS FOOD. and we clean up for you selfish menn, One dayy you should clean up and take care of every single thing! Women have a sence of style because they can where it better, oh and so what if men invented alot of things women still use it better, ohh and women are not dumb hoes we r smarter than any men.
oohh andd we are aloud to be in the armyy, and nooo men didnt create Breast cancer awareness women did. and noo we dont need to shave our armpits get yur dumb life together drunky
We do need to shave out armpits, because it’s gross and unhygienic not to. The main point is that we don’t need to shave our assholes, because unlike men we aren’t hairy all over. It’s easier for us to be clean, civilized, sophisticated, beneficial contributors to the world. Men have hairy asses and therefore struggle with this greatly.
Top ten reasons why women are better than men:
10) We don’t have the draft; we won’t get hysteria or PTSD from WWI, WWII, Korea, Persian Gulf, Iraq, ‘Nam. Sorry, as sympathetic as we are to your mental instability and traumatic flashbacks, we’re just being polite. We don’t really understand what you were going through, and care even less. Have fun with Rorschach ;(.
9) Women have a much better fashion sense, hands-down. Men have Queer Eye For the Straight Guy. And Elton John.
8) When a woman is raped, everyone thinks she’s a terrible-suffering victim who needs sympathy and kindness. Eventually, after overcoming the obstacles and painful memories associated with their rape, women are empowered to move on and lead successful lives again. Men get raped, and never show their faces in public again.
7) Women get breast cancer and write a critically-acclaimed novel about their trials. Men get a gloved-hand shoved up their anus, ejaculate on their 57-year old male doctor’s scrubs, and then die of prostate cancer.
6) Women get scholarships for being women. Men get scholarships for being black, latino, or asian.
5) A prostitute was saved from being stoned to death by Jesus. The Son of God himself had to drink old vinegar, get his hands and feet nailed to a plank of wood, got stabbed in the ribs with a sword, and then made a public spectacle until death was met, painfully. Who not only got the better deal, but was also spared? Maybe if Jesus had a vagina was only accused of prostitution…
4) Lonely women have vibrators, thunderbeads, dildos, etc. Lonely men have their hands… and maybe some lotion.
3) When a man shoots too soon, he’s a minuteman. When women orgasm quickly, they are satisfied and their partners think they’ve hit the jackpot.
2) Women don’t pee with their vaginas.
1) Women don’t have to shave their asses.
Okay as I have a little time to kill I will idiotically reply to your list.
10. Quite true, the reason you’re not drafted is because women are about as useful in combat as feeble-minded psychotic monkeys; sure they can be trained (to a degree) but you’re not going to entrust them with anything as important as winning a battle or pressing the right button. Plus they are more likely to ruin anything remotely breakable and injure themselves. It’s just not worth it.
9. All the greatest fashion houses were started and run by men. No shock there.
8. You got me. It’s because women are so immensely irresponsible and hebetudinous that they are actually officially classified as an ‘at risk group’, deserving of our abject pity. Poor dim-witted little things!
7. Women LOVE to wallow in the tribulations of other women, that way they can feel they are victims by proxy.
6. Again true.
5. Actually this one is interesting. I believe in 2008 the earliest versions of the Bible were either translated or released for study, I forget which, and that particular parable turns out to be an addition! It was never part of the original Gospels!
4. Men need only rely upon themselves, unlike women we don’t need help. To throw salt into the wound, the vibrator was invented by… a MAN!!!
3. The majority of men do not care when, or even IF a woman orgasms.
2. A man’s penis is his natural ‘Swiss Army knife’, multi-function babe!
1. No, women have to shave/wax their arms, legs, breasts, face, vaginas – not sure if they have to shave the soles of their feet as well, I know your mother does, but I’m not sure if it is common practise.
Class dismissed BITCH!
[...] to which i say, GiRlZ Rule! but, seriously as the studies go, females are pretty much naturally more apt for everything. don’t believe me? then agree with this guy, he seems real intelligent with a god given gift of sensible logic: http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/top-ten/ [...]
ooh and one other thing, the reason why women have lacked so much in the accomplishments department is because female figures have been suppressed. Women Gods have been replaced by all males. Women don’t have other women to aspire to like men do A.K.A Jesus. Women have been made to feel worthless and thats lead to confidence issues. Women are just as capable as men. Did you know that when animals are dominated by another animal they evolve twice as fast!Okay I need to stop ranting!
Haha this is funny. Mans view on the world is completely opposite to the truth. Women have sex with men out of love, whilst men have sex out of their own shallow pleasure. Women should not be called whores because the real whores are men! They are just so wrapped up in thinking they are God that they cannot see this. Mans goal in life is to earn the most money and willy joust with anybody they come into contact with, whilst women want love, laughter, friendship and a life! Use your imagination once in a while and you might learn a bit about wisdom!
Why do you think men have made all the accomplishments over time? Because women were not allowed to attend school until the 19th century and that was still only the rich women! Women are not physically stronger, women do do have a defence mechanism like men do so to be fair yes men have an unfair advantage towards women but take a step back and look at it from a different perspective, it might open your mind slightly on to the bigger picture about how women deserve every bit of respect they have always lacked from men. But hey! women can deal with it! I find mans sheer lack of vitality for life and blatent stupidity highly amusing! Peace xx
ROFL for real for real
finally, I found someone who thinks like me. You are awesome 99.99% of the stuff you wrote is true. I used to say that all women are whores and people laugh at me and they still do.
I’m sure your gay partner is very happy with you.
But seriously, not everyone’s like that, just like I met guys who aren’t all ass-craving, props assholes. Women think more creativily, out-pf-the-box and inner spacially. Men are more logical and physical.
But hey, it’s not like I really give a shit what a random person on the internet thinks. If you want to make better use of sexism, take yourself to 4chan. At least there’s lulz.
i find this so ridiculous. This article is really entertaining. I thought it was only a joke… Sorry if I was wrong…. I mean only because boys destroy things doesn’ t make them any better…. I think some men are really smart as for some women. Both sexes can be stupid or smart.
But I do agree that marriage is stupid
You clueless imbecile, lookup ’satire’.
Narrow minded people like this guy make the world a horrible place.
Well why don’t you ‘blastoff’?
Or failing that, just fuck off?
Men did everything by themselves with no help from women. Women were there to cook, clean and take care of the kids (an important role, ill admit as men need their women to stand by them). Point is, females have no right to take credit for men’s accomplishments and say they are “equal” to men when they know males are the superior sex. Its the dumb feminist cunts with their shit theories “women are equal/better…men are evil” that fucks everything up. Most women dont stand by their men, just nag and try to manipulate them. So, cheers to the women who do stand by their man. Conclusion: men should never trust a woman or depend on her until she signs a contract where she promises not to cheat, nag or humiliate her man in any way and always stand by him/submit to him.
@tet: “Put a man alone in the world for 5 mins and he’ll be crying for mommy”. Dumb cunt, men created this world and all the technological advancements your priveleged bitch ass enjoys. Who are the people below the men in top positions? More hard working men and dont say shit like “women do all the work”.. dumb shit bitches like you just talk all day on the phone and gossip while men do all the hard. Its females who are lazy while men are naturally strong and hard working. So shut it and go cry to oprah, maybe that oversized feminist will understand you.
meow
This guy is so fucking awesome. He has such a comically brilliant persona that he’s able to say awesome shit like this and people actually believe him. To all the bitches out there whining about “herf derf sexism! man is pig” shut the fuck up and read this, I guaran-FUCKING-tee this guy is joking, but you hoes are too goddamn stupid to realize t. Which in a way proves his jokes to be correct.
now, go put on your hip stylish skinny jeans hahaha fucking stupid. >.>
i love how these females spend the majority of their day gossiping or on the phone, watching t.v and obeying propaganda, dolling themselves up trying to find a mate to breed with or simply sitting on their arses, and then think they can come here (or on any other thread on the net) with anything semi intelligent to say. everybody nowadays thinks their so smart XD lame. please just stop, your just embarassing yourselves
oh i agree, because its worthless to gossip, i dnt use the phone, i dnt evn watch tv anymore, and proganda. really? hehe. i dnt believe in dressing up just to find someone :/ thts not even the right way to get a relationship. i knw i can come here ^^ i have my own free will. :) semi intelligent? thts your own biased opinion, which you are free to spew all over the web as you please. yeah..yeah…watevr makes you feel comfortable to sleep at night :))
i dnt use a spllchecker, i dnt go to skool, i dnt hav a clu. LOL :Z