Ask Dick: How Many Roads Must a Man Walk Down?

I am asked the following question a lot, so I might as well answer it once and for all. This version comes to me from Justin.

Dick,

Try as I may, I cannot filter through bullshit to figure out what it means to be a man. As a young scholar with an addictive personality, I humbly seek your guidance in my quest for mandom. Can you give me an outline of what a man is and what his responsibilities to the world are?

Good question, Justin. Firstly, you have to figure out what it really is that you’re looking for. You’re not looking for an outline of mandom. You’re looking for a road map to manhood. That’s much manlier.

The Road Map to Manhood

There’s as much bullshit out there about what it is to be a man as there is bullshit out there about what it is to be smart. Are you book smart or are you street smart? If you have to ask, you’re neither, so shut the fuck up.

Being a man is doing the right thing no matter what the cost.

Wrong.

If there’s one thing I know about history, it’s that it should be called penistory because of the overwhelming influence men have had over women in shaping it. If I know two things, it’s that what’s right today could be wrong tomorrow. There is no “right thing”. Someone is always going to get shit on, and if you’re realizing that, that someone will probably be you.

Smoking was once an infusion of class and wealth. But today, smoking will get you thrown up on in some parts of California — even though it’s still a huge sign of class and coolness. Smacking women for their non-stop fuckups also used to be standard fare. Now, however, it is frowned upon.

Being a man is fighting for what you believe in.

I don’t think I could invent a concept more womanly than that. Fighting for what she “believes” is how women start 100% of domestic abuse.

Belief is a silly thing for school children and drunks. Men have powers of self-determination that women can’t even comprehend. Men are actually so powerful, that a man believing in something makes it true. If you fight for that, you’re not fighting for what you believe in, you’re fighting for the truth.

That might make you a third Superman, but it doesn’t make you a man.

Being a man means accepting responsibility.

“Accepting” responsibility is like “admitting” you’re a drunk. You were always a fucking drunk. Admitting it or not is irrelevant.

Responsibility is owing your bookie fifty grand that you don’t have. It’s something you can’t avoid. If you don’t want to “accept” that, then you’re going to have to “accept” that your legs will be run over by a 1988 white Cadillac Brahm with rouge trim.

Some bookies also drive cars that pimps would drive. Not all of them, but some do.

Being a man

Being a means one simple thing: thinking in reality.

Women think purely in terms of fantasy. No matter how cut and dry and fucking obvious something is, women will sit and think their pretty little heads off until nothing makes sense anymore, and the only available option is to let life wash over them like a tidal wave of fuckups.

Women are magicians of Wrong. No matter how clearly you lay the path for them, they will pull a disaster rabbit out of their hat faster than you an say “Abragofuckyourself”.

The real answer to your question, Justin, is: who the fuck cares what it means to be a man. You are one. Roll your sleeves up and get to work.

That’s Man Zen.

Related Articles:

RSS feed | Trackback URI

72 Comments in 72 threads.»

Pages: [4] 3 2 1 » Show All

Comment by Kevin B
2008-06-20 13:51:12

Savant said:

Anytime a woman wants to know something that a man won’t tell her, she instantly says “be a man”. Than, like magic, he tells her.

Anytime a woman wants some shit that a man won’t give her, she instantly says “be a man”. Than, like magic, he gives it to her.

Anytime a woman can’t fight her own battles and a man isn’t jumping in to save her ass, she instantly says “be a man”. Than, like magic, he starts swinging.

Anytime a man wants some sex, laundry done or some steak and a woman won’t do it, we instantly say “be a woman”. Than, like magic, Channel 6 News shows up to report on the “gender discrimination” case.

Classic shit right here! As always, served up on the best site on the web!

 
Comment by deepak kumar
2008-05-03 09:55:11

i am a handsome young man. wont to contact a women for fucking in delhi

 
Comment by jarbrain
2008-04-16 16:03:59

abaddon_fff said:

kristina said:

aw my fingers slipped on the keyboard Necro. I will not respect a man who does not deserve respect. And a feminist nazi? Please do you even know what a feminist nazi is, or do you just call every random girl that? Yes, sometimes I act 8. At least I can admit that.

Even Dick makes mistakes because he mixes up letters on the keyboard. But I forgot. In your fantasy worlds men are allowed to make mistakes, women aren’t.

I dont post often in the comments section anymore, I find a lot of the discussion here is for newer members however I am curious. Why exactly are you here Kristina? Are you seeking validation? Are you trying to fight the “good” fight against us evil “woman-haters”? Do the contents of this site “offend” you in some way? Perhaps you are seeking attention? I have no idea myself. Maybe you’re trying to “change” us into bright, happy, shiny people, and we’ll all live in world filled with unicorns, and we’ll have tea with the elves… or not.

Hey EVERYONE makes mistakes spelling or otherwise. Although it is somewhat hypocritical to make a grammarical mistake while calling another person for it, to say the least. To not make mistakes, to not have imperfections, flaws, ect ect is to forego the entire human experience entirely, I think we all know that.

Men come to this site, one way or another. I have had my own hellish experiences with the creature known as woman and I care not to repeat them. I come here for solace from a world that finds it entirely acceptable to ridicule, and enslave the very founders of the society they live within. Look at a house, you will find that Men are the ones that provided it and ALL of the materials necessary to build it. It is Men that discovered the forces of nature that you are utilizing right now. The computer that you write upon, Men created that. The very structure of society is based upon both the backs and the minds of Men. This is why we are better. Everywhere you look and almost everything you do, Men have either built it, or invented it.

If i think someone is being an ass/bitch I’ll say it. After all, I have already called some of the females on this site idiots. Just as I have you men.

What you think is of no import. You are not welcome here. There are a lot of idiots in this world. I would say that a great majority of humanity cannot think beyond themselves, or the first tier of thought as I call it.

Some points you bring up I agree with. I don’t make fun of the men who actually are saying something intelligently. Some of things Dick says I have a smartass remark. But on the whole at least I’m open-minded enough to see your side, whereas some of you men are so close-minded to the idea that some of the female race are cool, respectable, nonwhores.

I certainly agree that some of the female gender has the capability to be “cool” as you put it. I have had my fair share of them in my lifetime. However that doesn’t CHANGE anything. Look to the good things in life, and Men are better at them. Look to the dark side of life, and Men are better at that as well. Certainly there are respectable women out there, its a statistical improbability for there not to be, however were I live they simply don’t exist. j

If you think calling me a slut is hurting my feelings, it’s not. I know I have morals, even if you don’t think so. After all I’m not here to impress any of you. Not that you’d care anyways.

Quite true. Personally I could care less if you’re a slut or a prude. Your feelings aren’t on my list of things to worry about either. See thats what I am getting too, why are you here??

-Strength and Honor -

If you continue, you are going to cry. Nobody will care, because men listen w/ their eyes (what were you using, again?) so they can not observe you at the apex of your prettiness.
Your mom cares if you cry, unless she’s on the phone.

 
Comment by jarbrain
2008-04-16 16:00:21

kristina said:

Necroswordsman said:

HULK SMASH TEXT WALL!!!

kristina said:

You have proven, Necro(wow that sure is a manly name, not)

My brothers call me Necro. To you I’m Necroswordsman. RESPECT BITCH!

I’ve had tea with Death, you know. Nice guy. Well, thing, since it’s obvious Death is asexual.

You know kristina, you have proven

that when something doesn’t make sense to you (which if anything makes sense to you then that’s amazing in itself) you resort to name calling, swearing, and basic ad hominems, other than just arguing your case reasnably.

Do you know what an ad hominem is exactly or did you get that from dictionary.com?

And what’s sweraing? o.O

You a feminist nazi or something?

Also, one thing. ‘wow that sure is a manly name, not’

…what are you, 8??

aw my fingers slipped on the keyboard Necro. I will not respect a man who does not deserve respect. And a feminist nazi? Please do you even know what a feminist nazi is, or do you just call every random girl that? Yes, sometimes I act 8. At least I can admit that.

Even Dick makes mistakes because he mixes up letters on the keyboard. But I forgot. In your fantasy worlds men are allowed to make mistakes, women aren’t.

No I am not done yet evileddy. I have just began. :)

Mansman. Have you nothing intelligent to say other than insults?

If i think someone is being an ass/bitch I’ll say it. After all, I have already called some of the females on this site idiots. Just as I have you men. Some points you bring up I agree with. I don’t make fun of the men who actually are saying something intelligently. Some of things Dick says I have a smartass remark. But on the whole at least I’m open-minded enough to see your side, whereas some of you men are so close-minded to the idea that some of the female race are cool, respectable, nonwhores.

If you think calling me a slut is hurting my feelings, it’s not. I know I have morals, even if you don’t think so. After all I’m not here to impress any of you. Not that you’d care anyways.

Kristina….would you sleep w/ a married man, or try to force him into a divorce? What if that would take away all his cash? Are you worth all his cash? Also; please elaborate on this shit called ‘romance’

 
Comment by jarbrain
2008-04-16 15:55:51

Necroswordsman said:

And yes the rest of my clas is also pathetic at writing. But they’re still cool guys (And a gal who’s positively sweet).

If you’re nice to me, then whether your black, gay, lesbian, a feminist (Never happens) or anything else, welcome to my fold.

Dude! It’s coming through what’s left of the school systems that’s left the word ‘Sword’ permanently in you someplace.
This maybe the one place on earth where you can discuss what true entitlements are without jumping out the window, or diliberately zipping your dick in your fly.

 
Comment by jarbrain
2008-04-16 15:52:49

Youareonefuckedupindividual said:

Savant said:

Anytime a woman wants to know something that a man won’t tell her, she instantly says “be a man”. Than, like magic, he tells her.

Anytime a woman wants some shit that a man won’t give her, she instantly says “be a man”. Than, like magic, he gives it to her.

Anytime a woman can’t fight her own battles and a man isn’t jumping in to save her ass, she instantly says “be a man”. Than, like magic, he starts swinging.

Anytime a man wants some sex, laundry done or some steak and a woman won’t do it, we instantly say “be a woman”. Than, like magic, Channel 6 News shows up to report on the “gender discrimination” case.

It’s “Then like magic,” genius. Not “Than like magic.”

Oh by the way dick breath- what’s up with the bullshit emails? Fuck off. You deleted my post as I’m sure you’ll delete this one- so leave me the fuck alone and quit harassing me.

What? You’ve had a weird experience based on my documentation. This mine:
1.) snooping
2.) stealing
3.) calling 911 and run
4.) a dependent personality disorder
Women don’t have intuition! They’re just sneaky, little adders who browse through your shit while you partake in man-earned sleep. Remember, there is no rest for the wicked. This is what slowly incorporates a bunch of pesky, assine steps into your life…(like deleting all your cell phone numbers)…not ‘cus you give a shit what she thinks, but to avoid her goddamned mouth.

kristina said:

I know…his spelling and grammer….it disgusts even me

Maroon 5: Goodnight Goodnight

Like, Kelsey Grammar? Er, I don’t know what to say. Who do you think would recognize that being understood supercedes the pending symbolism for being understood? Hahahahaha! Watch out ladies, gotta make new tools. whatyoudonow?

 
Comment by jarbrain
2008-04-16 15:39:06

e v i l e d d y said:

Done?

Good.. now go away.

What? Twenty years to learn: there is no masacre bloody than indifference.
Women always try to lecture men, because to spout such hibile w/ each other (they learn) remains the same as their first hand-smacking:
Ms. Merry Mac, Mac, Mac…all dressed in black, black, black…
And she’s got silver buttons down her back ‘cus she’s a whore.
Now, whoever introduced that subliminal gem unto the playground was a fucking genius indeed.

 
Comment by Teegan
2008-04-03 09:06:52

“I have better spelling and grammar then more than half the bozos on this site” - You mean “better spelling and grammar *than* more *then*”, right?
“sweraing” - I think you mispelled something.
“reasnably” - I don’t think that’s spelled correctly.
“imbecilic” - I could be wrong, but I don’t think that’s even a real word.
“And any sensible female, reads what you have to read and laughs” - You mean “reads what you have to write”?
“Which is what I am starting to do the more and more you spout of nonesense yourself.” - You mean “the more and more you spout OFF nonsense”? And also “the more and more” is not correct grammar.

I thought you said you were smart?

Haha.

 
Comment by Clair
2007-11-02 05:50:45

RobC said:

Not to whores like you.

Aww…you know just what to say, at just the right time. How do you do it?

 
Comment by MansVoice
2007-11-02 03:10:39

Mansman said:
It’s called being a white guy in Asia.

One can be rather more polite than you suggest, but the bottom line is ultimately as you say, if that’s how YOU decide it shall be.

One doesn’t HAVE to endure the attitude problems of loud mouth feminist whores. You just live your life in locations where they are not present…permanently, or as much as possible. If you do have to suffer SOME exposure to the horror that is Western whoredom, MINIMISE the exposure…as you would to any disease.

Western women hate this because they know full well their Asian sisters outclass them in every area that matters to a Man…and YOU are yet one more enlightened Man they have NO Hope of exploiting or siphoning ca$h out of (”Western women” includes those who lost their traditional values to the sacrificial alter of feminism).

Western women hate it, and hate all who know about it. That’s why you’ll see them respond negatively to this post…they don’t like the truth being told, and they definitely don’t like their pussy power of exploitation being completely neutralised by enlightened Men. Women love to gloat about being “strong and independent”, but as soon as a MAN is strong and independent (of them), they get majorly pissed off about it.

Women want power over men. Fucking well said!

Mansman said:

That’s a double standard I can see from 35,000 feet!

Thats part of being a woman.

 
Comment by RobC
2007-11-02 02:59:14

Not to whores like you.

 
Comment by Clair
2007-11-02 02:54:05

You’re such a sweet talker.

 
Comment by RobC
2007-11-02 02:34:21

Somehow I don’t think you would really like to know what I think of women like you.

 
Comment by Clair
2007-11-02 02:26:15

Don’t worry. I know that’s your special way of saying I like you Clair. :)

 
Comment by RobC
2007-11-02 02:22:43

And you’re a cunt. I know which of the 2 I would rather be. Now kindly (or unkindly) fuck off.

 
Comment by Clair
2007-11-02 02:19:11

Aw, robby. You’re such a jokester. lol

 
Comment by RobC
2007-11-02 02:15:38

Good…..leave in pain then.

 
Comment by Clair
2007-11-02 01:50:46

see, things like that really hurt robby…lol

 
Comment by RobC
2007-11-02 01:44:53

@ Clair

You could do anything you like, fuck-face, but none of us really give a shit so why don’t you fuck off Dick’s website?

 
Comment by Clair
2007-11-02 00:33:06

*sigh* Why can’t you say ‘traditional’ Asian girl values or something like that. I really really REALLY hate racial stereo-typing. It never ever leads ANYWHERE positive.

The thing is though, you seem all for it. If we really wanted to go down that path, I could say, well your Asian. That means you’re smart, scrawny, weak, have a small penis and and are an extreme push over and I could drop you like that.

I won’t though, cause I can’t make an assumption without at leastmeeting you. But, it’s not nice is it?

 
Name (required)
E-mail (required - never shown publicly)
URI

Comment moderation is enabled. Your comment may take some time to appear.


Close
E-mail It
Powered by ShareThis