Women are Tight Asses

Women are the fucking cheapest things on Earth and not a one of them has ever given a dime to any charity ever.

Don’t believe me? Well you should because I haven’t been wrong on one of these things yet and I never will be. That’s what happens when you pick a platform like men are better than women at everything. You can never be wrong because wherever you step there’s a solid foundation of logic and science to walk on. It’s like waltzing around town in golf cleats.

I just stepped in shit? No problem. See, I’m wearing these golf cleats. I don’t even know it happened.

I’m talking about man generosity today and how it eclipses the female version of itself about a million times over. I was going to find some stats before I wrote this article; something like on average men give 350% more than woman to recognized non-profit charities that do not include helping pretty girls through law, med, or business school even though that’s quite generous. But then I realized something. You have to have something to give it away.

Money is a something and no woman has a right to any monies she’s ever had. Thus, no woman has ever given a dime away to charity. She has only acted as a proxy for a generous man who was not even aware of his saintly-hood. Such is the way of men. Even if we think we’re fucking mantastic, we rarely know how great we are.

Women are like that with everything. They take things that aren’t theirs and act like it’s some huge fucking sacrifice to give them away. Sort of like a modern-day Robin Hood where the sword fighting and merriment is replaced with an earful of bitching and a lot of wishing you knew then what you know now. Take wives and sex for instance. A married woman’s body is as much hers as is her fancy car and cell phone or the house she traded a lifetime of fucking for. It’s not hers to give away — headache or no. And it can’t be bartered with just the same as you can’t tell her to sleep on the floor. If you don’t believe me you shouldn’t have gotten married because I’m confident the church would back me up on this.

Men are a charitable, giving sort of creature for the same reasons we don’t walk around raping and pillaging and setting fires to nicer houses than our own and shitting into people’s cars who, for a variety of reasons, would leave their windows cracked a little bit overnight — because we’re nice, we’re compassionate, and we have a little thing called empathy.

Men also have a frame of reference when it comes to having or buying things. Since we do all of both of those, we know how much things cost. We know that giving Amnesty International a hundred dollars isn’t going to do a damn thing. What the fuck is a hundred dollars going to buy an international organization? A box of fucking staplers? Please.

Men are charitable and we’re charitable in a big way — the only way that makes a difference. Any of that nickel and dime shit women wear like girl scout badges is clown shoes.

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