That’ll Still Look Hot When You’re 80.
When men get tattoos they are unique and meaningful. Men get tattoos like Waldo riding a comet across their backs, or two girls in bikinis lifting an anchor. That’s awesome. How about a Chinese character that means “bad ass”? Oh yea. Very manly. When women get tattoos it’s always the same shit: a rose on the boob that you’re not supposed to look at, or a target on the ass.
If men were as predictable and promiscuous as women when they got tattoos, every man would have a giant money sign tattooed on his bicep.
“Where’s my tattoo you ask? Let me show you. Hrrk.”
Fortunately for everyone men have a little thing called class.
Tattoos have always been a man thing. All the way back to a time when men were out hunting and gathering and women hadn’t yet learned to speak. What a paradise — the quiet, nag-less utopia of the prehistoric man. That’s when tattoos started. I imagine men invented them in order to proudly display how many wooly mammoths they’d slain in battle. That might not be true, but it’s enough to demonstrate why women have no place in the realm of the painted flesh.
Just like in finance and science, when women get involved in a man thing it’s painfully obvious that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. Here’s an example: Tinkerbelle on the hip. Now this is a real tattoo that I have seen on a real woman — and not a stripper mind you, an actual woman walking down the street. Trust me, it wasn’t a stripper walking down the street. Here’s my question: what in the fuck does Tinkerbelle have to do with anything? What is the statement here?
When a man gets a tattoo, he’s making a statement. In the case of Waldo, a man is saying, “Where’s Waldo? I’ll tell you where Waldo is. He’s right the fuck here riding a giant comet in your face.” And that is a perfectly fine thing to say. It’s lets the world know what the score is first step onto the pitch. Man: 1, World: 0.
Now what does some goofy pseudo-Indian design on a woman’s lower back say? I’m in touch with the spirit of nature? Maybe, but probably no. How about, look at my lower back please; I need tons of attention. Getting warmer, but still no. Give up? Here’s what it says:
I’m decoration.
Women have don’t have enough philosophy or personality on which to base a tattoo. That’s why they suck at getting them. That’s also why women love Hallmark so fucking much. Because it’s a bunch of prepackaged kitsch shit that defines every essence of their being in a two sentence limerick, a hunk of porcelain with oversized eyes, or a 2×4 reprint of Monet. Women are Hallmark. They’re way overpriced and none of them do a goddamn thing.
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The real and NAKED truth! yeah!
Kitsch and decorative is empty and every woman is.. They just judge things on the outside and on the appearence. Guess what? Appearence is a fachade, it is like an egg shell with nothing in it. It’s easy to break too.
dick you fucking rule and you should be elected king of the universe
She was a big, fat loser… only a bubba in a trailer-park would stoop to fucking an obese, ugly cunt like her. Hit the treadmill? She needs to hit a liposuction surgery every day for six months to lose those pounds.
Dick, I think this whole site is an homage to shock value. You can’t possibly be such a typical caricature of a sexist man. This whole site is nonsense and the bickering on your comments shows how stupid men and women can be. Why don’t you do something of value with your time instead of just showing off how big of a dick you can be and how big of a trash heap of angry comments you can accrue… Seriously, how does your dickhead hatred really help anything… You sound like a pouting little boy whose first girlfriend broke his heart and now he’s all about how whorish he things women are. Are you seriously that pathetic?
Tatoos?
My grandfather has a tatoo of his name, David, and now it looks like an anchor. I honeslty forget that it was his name
heres a funny one to go along with this….i had an uncle named modesto, but everyone knew him as “marty”. i asked him why this was so….he tells me he was married to a gal named “mary” had her name tattooed to his arm….well uncle mo gets divorced stuck with this babes name on his arm….what to do, well….he gets a “T” tattooded between the “R” an the “Y” and his nick name was born ! funny one huh ? LOL
Great post.
Lol eww…
No, he isnt. I’m getting tired with all these gay comments. Why dont one of you women(not a fat one though) strip infront of Dick and ask him to “take you”? We will then use it as an affirmation to Dick’s sexuality.
I do wonder though, with no malice intended, if dick is gay.
@ The Worlds Fukin Greatest: Use some fucking common sense. The woman didnt intend to use that question to probe about Dick’s life. It was an emotional attack to hook Dick in and to humiliate him on national tv. She got owned, bitchslapped and humiliated by Dick’s man-wit. It was an easy give-away that was an insecure harpy. Her eyes, her rage and her gestures – All gave her away. She wanted some form of “victory” against Dick. For what? Fat women rights, I suppose? Feminism, maybe? I dont know, what I do know is.. she went against Dick, a real man and she got herself kicked in the ass fucking hard.
yea i gota ask one question.. when u were on dr.phill, u never did answer that one ladies question. so im gonna ask it again; Have you even ever had a date, let alone had sex? cuz u say u have women lined up to get to u. that really did answer her question. well fuk u dumbass prove it. and for fuksakes have the balls to answer. that just shows ur not MAN enough to answer a simple question.
Clodagh,
you’re right, we’re just one big happy family of men drinking cool beer, eating cheez-its bouncing back and forth from this site to porn tgp’s and back again.
The best part is that we’re not nagged to death and have the freedom to do or not to do it.
We’re men and do as we please whenever, however and with whomever we please.
Kind of brings a tear of joy to your eyes don’t it?
I think I’ll pull out some cash from my ever expanding bank account and have a steak dinner then go to a strip club.
If your lucky, you might find a few “washingtons” in your “G” string.
You go girl!
-Banzai
“most of his time”? What the fuck? I come here as and when I want unlike you women who refresh the page every fucking second to make lame points. Also, talking about time… doesnt your gender need more of it… to actually match up to us? You spent the last 4000 years doing shit so shut the fuck up about “time”. Thats a manly word.
So says the man who spends most of his time bitching on this website about how women should be born male?
Men don’t bitch, bitch. Furthermore, it takes only fractions of our Mantime to charitably grace you and the rest of your impeded gender with more than adequate responses both here, and in real life.
The other 99.7% of our time is spent enthusiastically and efficiently improving the lot of MANkind with great ideas and new Manventions.
You could at least say “thanks”.
TOS violation, I know. Shouldn’t be here, other than to read and relish a vast collection of those rare things, common sense and logic.
However, I just couldn’t let this pile of ignorant crap go unchallenged.
FEM: even though you probably have some poor unfortunate cat as a pet, you don’t know anything about cat tattoos, you embarassing thing. Cats were tattooed in (not ON, honey) their ear as identification. Not any more, under CFA rules. Now, they can only be tattooed on their inner left thigh, but that is pretty much replaced by microchipping. Of course, the woman-dominated CFA was years behind the male-led AKC in advocating the use of microchips. I guess the cat show women either like to hear their beloved cats scream during the tattooing or are too cheap to pay a vet to insert the chip. Maybe they’re too stupid to understand RFID no matter how much some man or even woman tries to explain it to them. I’ve been there and done that and have the “Sarah, nobody likes a brainiac” to prove it.
Everyone else: (1) I’ve noticed a lot of postings about commenters’ girlfriend’s messed up cats. A cat is a cat. If the male commenters owned the same cat, it would be normal for a cat. It’s messed up by the girlfriend and it’s not kitty’s fault. The cat just ended up with a messed up owner who then messed up the cat. Men’s cats are generally pretty nice pets. The same applies to small dogs. Blame the woman; feel sorry for the little dog.
(2) A tattoo on a woman doesn’t mean she’s a whore. It means she’s a cheap stupid skanky slut.
(3) A shout-out to my brother who reads and contributes to this site! Next to Dad, you’re the coolest person I know.
Dick: thanks for a wonderful site and now I’ll just “STFU” and go back to read-only mode.
obviously she is bothered enough to respond? As long as what we write cranks up feminists as it does you, it is well worth the effort, you dumb bitch.
You are stupid because this website is FOR MEN. You have no business being here. You are not going to have any effect on anybody RUNNING OR NAGGY-ASS MOUTH OFF. Oh, by the way, do you even know what a TWAT is? Obviously not.
Correct you are, Female. Jacob Zuma is a major cause of the AIDS epidemic in Africa. After all, he made that silly statement roughly a year ago, and the AIDS epidemic started about two decades ago. So clearly, his statement 20 years after millions of people were infected with HIV is the cause of the current health crisis is sub-Saharan Africa.
The clarity and soundness of your arguments never ceases to amaze me, Female. I’m glad a woman like you can come on this site and make a completely sensible statement like that.
So says the man who spends most of his time bitching on this website about how women should be born male?
Ah, yes, and my answer to all your problems is simple:
you should have been born male.
If men and women are equal, why do you have all these issues to bitch about to begin with?