It took a whole lot of words to make one point though.
I just don’t see a point in her being her or there.

Female said:

I thought my answer was fairly practical and realistic, but fine.

If you reported a scratched arm or face, or whatever, to a doctor and said that you received the injuries from your wife, then I’m sure the doctor would raise an eyebrow and treat the wound, advising you if it looked infected and how you should look after it, and possibly tell you if you needed stitches or recommend a plastic surgeon.

If the doctor isn’t in a rush or practices in a holistic, rather than purely pragmatic manner, then he or she may ask you if your wife accidently scratched you. If you decide to reveal that it was deliberate, then the doctor may ask more questions trying to ascertain whether this is a regular thing, whether you have any other injuries, whether your wife has any injuries that should be treated, whether you have children, whether they may be at risk of harm, etc. These questions are designed to ellicit information on what is happening so that people are protected. From themselves, if necessary. Not so people can be punished or blamed, but protected. There is a difference. But if men wont admit that they need help or assistance or even protection, then of course it wont be able to be forthcoming. Next the doctor may ask you if your wife has a mental illness or a history of MI in her family or is on a drug rehabilitation program, or whether you are on the latter. If your answer to all these questions was “no” then depending on your demeanour, the doctor might light-heartedly ask you, “so what did you do to deserve this?” while possibly suspecting that you receieved the injuries after your wife found out you were involved with another woman.

If the situation was reversed and your wife visited the doctor, then I’m fairly certain that a similiar scenerio would play out but with more information offered to the woman on women’s refuges, and perhaps without the question, “so what did you do to deserve this?”

The slightly different interactions do reflect cultural assumptions that as women are physically weaker than men, that women cannot seriously hurt men and, that if a woman does injure a man, then he must have provoked her, most likely by having an affair. However, the average professional is going to know that it is bullshit that women cannot inflict serious injuries AND that physial violence enacted by anyone, male or female, is not indicative of a normal relationship spat, but is indicative of either, 1. cultural context - those raised in more violent neighbourhoods are raised in a tougher manner and this is somewhat of a cultural norm or 2. drugs or alcohol is involved or 3. psychological illness is involved. The professional would take all the information from your story into account to ascertain which of these applied and act accordingly, informing you of relevant resource services and options in your area (maybe a men’s support group or the number of a social worker). The professional who does not do any of these things is not upholding their code of ethics and you should discontinue seeking treatment from that particular doctor.

Amazingly I think she has a point.

I thought my answer was fairly practical and realistic, but fine.

If you reported a scratched arm or face, or whatever, to a doctor and said that you received the injuries from your wife, then I’m sure the doctor would raise an eyebrow and treat the wound, advising you if it looked infected and how you should look after it, and possibly tell you if you needed stitches or recommend a plastic surgeon.

If the doctor isn’t in a rush or practices in a holistic, rather than purely pragmatic manner, then he or she may ask you if your wife accidently scratched you. If you decide to reveal that it was deliberate, then the doctor may ask more questions trying to ascertain whether this is a regular thing, whether you have any other injuries, whether your wife has any injuries that should be treated, whether you have children, whether they may be at risk of harm, etc. These questions are designed to ellicit information on what is happening so that people are protected. From themselves, if necessary. Not so people can be punished or blamed, but protected. There is a difference. But if men wont admit that they need help or assistance or even protection, then of course it wont be able to be forthcoming. Next the doctor may ask you if your wife has a mental illness or a history of MI in her family or is on a drug rehabilitation program, or whether you are on the latter. If your answer to all these questions was “no” then depending on your demeanour, the doctor might light-heartedly ask you, “so what did you do to deserve this?” while possibly suspecting that you receieved the injuries after your wife found out you were involved with another woman.

If the situation was reversed and your wife visited the doctor, then I’m fairly certain that a similiar scenerio would play out but with more information offered to the woman on women’s refuges, and perhaps without the question, “so what did you do to deserve this?”

The slightly different interactions do reflect cultural assumptions that as women are physically weaker than men, that women cannot seriously hurt men and, that if a woman does injure a man, then he must have provoked her, most likely by having an affair. However, the average professional is going to know that it is bullshit that women cannot inflict serious injuries AND that physial violence enacted by anyone, male or female, is not indicative of a normal relationship spat, but is indicative of either, 1. cultural context - those raised in more violent neighbourhoods are raised in a tougher manner and this is somewhat of a cultural norm or 2. drugs or alcohol is involved or 3. psychological illness is involved. The professional would take all the information from your story into account to ascertain which of these applied and act accordingly, informing you of relevant resource services and options in your area (maybe a men’s support group or the number of a social worker). The professional who does not do any of these things is not upholding their code of ethics and you should discontinue seeking treatment from that particular doctor.

Seriously, that WAS the worst load of crap. All you did was point out your own ideologies as to how the world SHOULD work. This has nothing to do with how everything should work in fucking Utopia.

And i know that we have a goddamn problem in this regard. Don’t try to avoid my question because you’re afraid I will shoot you down. I wont. In fact I was almost ready to applaud your answer.

That seemed quite a pointless bunch of rubbish to me. In regards to his question.

I agree. That was a load of crap. Try again Female.

Female said:

Deliberate scratching is feral behaviour and should be documented. I think the Drs attitude would and should foremost be professional and focussed on treating the wound for any infection or other, secondly they may suggest giving you a referral for a psychiatrist for your wife or yourself to deal with the issues influencing the violence.

I would think men should care more about their wife’s behaviour than what a Doctor may think of his situation. I would recommend men do decide to report such injuries, however superficial, to a Doctor and then to ask for a referral for a psychiatrist (if the doctor doesn’t offer one) while they are there.

Only where there is a mass pile of evidence of a social problem, will a professional community begin to discuss it, research it, bring it to the attention of their governing body who will then bring it to the attention of the authorities, public health officials and the media. So if this hasn’t happened yet, then either men are not reporting abuse by their partners, abuse by females is not as widespread or high as you think it is or doctors are seeing high rates of this but are not taking the issue seriously.

That seemed quite a pointless bunch of rubbish to me. In regards to his question.

dalsgaard said:

If i had a wife, and i payed the doctor a vist - showed him my scratchmarks - and told him that my wife abused me (Jesus christ), what do you think his reaction would be?
Reverse the situation, and say my WIFE visited the doctor.

Deliberate scratching is feral behaviour and should be documented. I think the Drs attitude would and should foremost be professional and focussed on treating the wound for any infection or other, secondly they may suggest giving you a referral for a psychiatrist for your wife or yourself to deal with the issues influencing the violence.

I would think men should care more about their wife’s behaviour than what a Doctor may think of his situation. I would recommend men do decide to report such injuries, however superficial, to a Doctor and then to ask for a referral for a psychiatrist (if the doctor doesn’t offer one) while they are there.

Only where there is a mass pile of evidence of a social problem, will a professional community begin to discuss it, research it, bring it to the attention of their governing body who will then bring it to the attention of the authorities, public health officials and the media. So if this hasn’t happened yet, then either men are not reporting abuse by their partners, abuse by females is not as widespread or high as you think it is or doctors are seeing high rates of this but are not taking the issue seriously.

Actually, I took Anatomy class; as for House, merely the theme song catches my interest. And both my parents are doctors with twelve years of medical schooling after college - I’m not about to make assumptions. *smiles*

Like I said, genders may be different, but overall they are human. This website generalizes so much that I expected you’d realize that and list your own faults alongside womens’. This is the kind of ignorance that kills innocent people - of any gender, by any gender. I’m very surprised. This is a failure because you’ve failed you mention that there are masses upon masses of exceptions. You’ve lost my respect, men of earth. I thought you were cool.

Truth is, sex does not interest me. Babies do not interest me. That’s who I am. It’s not hate - it’s discord. I’ve lost my ‘appetite.’. And I’ve never yet mentioned my real gender, so does that really matter? I go trap shooting with my father once a week. I also hug each of my parents every night I can. I scuba dive every summer - and when my gear is in the shop, I snorkel without the air tube because it gets in my way, then dive thirty feet to poke a starfish. Then again, I also love chocolate. Which of the following entities can accomplish all of these things?
A) Woman
B) Man
C) Human

Luka said:

With respect to male/female violence, I think at the end of the day violence is violence regardless of what gender is involved.

A woman hitting a man is not any more acceptable than the other way around, the only difference I guess would be the extent of injuries inflicted… a man hitting a woman is more likely to cause more damage since men are physically stronger than women. However that doesn’t mean that women don’t initiate violence, nor does it mean that their actions are any less damaging in a psychological and emotional sense.

Generally, there is no excuse for the use of violence especially within what is supposed to be a loving relationship. If you resort to using fists rather than having an adult conversation with your partner you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them.

Yep yep. Exactly.

With respect to male/female violence, I think at the end of the day violence is violence regardless of what gender is involved.

A woman hitting a man is not any more acceptable than the other way around, the only difference I guess would be the extent of injuries inflicted… a man hitting a woman is more likely to cause more damage since men are physically stronger than women. However that doesn’t mean that women don’t initiate violence, nor does it mean that their actions are any less damaging in a psychological and emotional sense.

Generally, there is no excuse for the use of violence especially within what is supposed to be a loving relationship. If you resort to using fists rather than having an adult conversation with your partner you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them.

Female said:

My example was based on a paragraph from the first link you provided, namely.

Your not that stupid, i think you’re beginning to get it. The allegations are just that - allegations. If i had a wife, and i payed the doctor a vist - showed him my scratchmarks - and told him that my wife abused me (Jesus christ), what do you think his reaction would be?
Reverse the situation, and say my WIFE visited the doctor.

Wich is excactly my point. The problem is that these things happen and go literaly unnoticed for several reasons, and it’s happening a hell lot more than the general public will even acknowledge.

Now i have another question for you. Do you honestly think that the men on this site beats their wifes and girlfriends regularly?

Enough with the assumptions for now. The fact of the matter is, that these things - and that includes literally every topic on this site - needs more awareness. As of now, we can’t even begin advocating a solution to a problem, because noone knows that there IS a problem.

I’ve seen plenty of sites out there get shot down, even though they made points subtle. A man published a resarch recently that showed, that men are more Intelligent than women, and because of this - he got so hammered down by the media that he got fired as a result. Mysandri is literally everywhere, it’s gotten so widespread that we men have to excuse ourself just because we’re MEN. We can’t be straight forward, we can’t be weak either, we have to show feelings - but we should’nt be gay either. But most of all: We can NOT show any agression, or the slightest note of fear or instinct.

What role does this website, or the other websites like this, play in this ridiculous act you think?

My example was based on a paragraph from the first link you provided, namely.

Male violence remains a more serious phenomenon: men proved more likely than women to injure their partners. Female aggression tends to involve pushing, slapping and hurling objects.

My point was that general female aggression is not as serious as male aggression in any of it’s forms. But yes, I do understand that there is little difference between a woman and a man when a weapon is used in an assault.

I also concede that unreporting of female spousal abuse would exist, as well as distortion of statistics by people with an agenda. However, the second link you provided above says that women initiate violence in 50% of cases, this means the sexes are equal, however the stats don’t tell us whether “initiation” of violence occurs after a verbal threat against one’s life has been made. My point is that self-defense is a major factor in violence, as you yourself suggest by saying it must be okay for men to return hit a woman.

Here are some actual statistics from a table out of a paper I have in front of me.

Percentage of Incidence of Partner to Partner Violence among Families at Melbourne and Canberra Registries.

Allegations Against: Melb males - 47, Melb Females - 9.3
DVO’s Against: Melb Males - 40, Canberra Males - 33, Melb Females - 7.3, Canberra Females - 7.

Do these numbers reflect reality accurately or are there more incidences of female violence going unreported than we know of?

Your solution to this is that men should fight back. All that is going to do is end up raising the numbers of allegations against men, which will then see more money given to women’s shelters etc and continue to hide any problem men experience. What you should be advocating for is for men to get over any sense of shame at being battered by a women and report such crimes. And male police etc involved in documenting such cases should also perhaps be educated not to engage in shaming tactics against men who come forward.

Reference
Brown, T, Frederico, M., Hewitt, L and Sheehan, R. (2000) Revealing the existence of child abuse in the context of marital breakdown and custody and access disputes, Child Abuse and Neglect, Vol 24, No. 6, pp 849 - 859,.

This paper also sheds much light on the Family Court and number of child abuse cases, false and real, involved in marital breakdown. It was groundbreaking research, but that is another discussion.

Female said:

Of course throwing a plate at the wall nowhere near where the man is standing is so much more violent than a man throwing his fist into a woman’s eye, disengaging the retina, breaking her nose and busting her lip, before jumping up and down on her and breaking her ribs and pelvis.

Silly me.
You are all so right.

What you are comparing is ridiculous. Yes, women get upset and release their frustration sometimes aggressively by throwing an object or lightly slapping a guy on the arm but that is a world apart from men battering women and to compare them as if they are the same thing is wrong and completely insensitive and inappropriate. And stupid. So you won’t get any respect or sympathy from me if you continue to engage in this kind of pathetic comparison.

If your girlfriend or wife is prone to temper tantrums and taking her frustration aggressively out on you (ie displacing her anger at her coworkers at you) then yes, you should establish boundaries to let her know that it isn’t appropriate and you won’t like it when she does so, nor put up with it. If however, you are suggesting that men should fight this sort of behaviour from a woman by responding to her with a fist to her mouth, then you have a serious problem.

Are you fucking retarded? Can you even read?

The studies show that in most cases, the woman is the agressor - wich means that the men are acting in self-defense. This should, by any means, JUSTIFY the blow to the nose - or the push. And these kind of things happen more often than not, i can guarantee you that.

This does’nt have shit to do with ‘a plate hitting the wall, nowhere near the husband’, which is a completely idiotic assumption if you even took the time to read reports on the topic, and use your common sense.

Read this:

http://www.dadsnow.org/essay/BROTT1.HTM

Pay special attention to this report, because everything stated in there is certainly more logical and reasonable than your flawed line of thought. The 40% statistic pretty much holds through the whole scenario, and the most obvious of these is that 40% of murder-victims in these relationships are male.

Now take into account that men are far less likely to report domestic violence than women, and you have a pretty even playfield all around. But the media and feminist sympathizers blow this shit so far out of proportion, that women are getting continualy victimized - even when they are not the victims.

You better start believing it. There’s something seriously wrong. Do you think men are pissed off by feminists just for the fun of it? Do you really think we have no right to be angry? My generation literally grew up to adulthood FALSELY believing men to be sick bastards all the way through. And through all this time, it’s beginning to show that these statistics have in fact been faked and twisted up since the beginning of the nineties.

But all we can really hold on to in this world, is our own experiences on this matter. And i can tell you that because I had the same ‘women-are-victims’ line of thought as everyone else in our population, I have been beat by women too. No, it was’nt serious, and no, i did’nt start crying like a baby. But I have certainly been hit a LOT more times, than I have hit back. And when i hit back, it’s only in self-defence.

People should come to their goddamn sences.

I’m tired of this site being infested with braindead cunts.

Someone needs to start a site even more hardcore than this.

Of course throwing a plate at the wall nowhere near where the man is standing is so much more violent than a man throwing his fist into a woman’s eye, disengaging the retina, breaking her nose and busting her lip, before jumping up and down on her and breaking her ribs and pelvis.

Silly me.
You are all so right.

What you are comparing is ridiculous. Yes, women get upset and release their frustration sometimes aggressively by throwing an object or lightly slapping a guy on the arm but that is a world apart from men battering women and to compare them as if they are the same thing is wrong and completely insensitive and inappropriate. And stupid. So you won’t get any respect or sympathy from me if you continue to engage in this kind of pathetic comparison.

If your girlfriend or wife is prone to temper tantrums and taking her frustration aggressively out on you (ie displacing her anger at her coworkers at you) then yes, you should establish boundaries to let her know that it isn’t appropriate and you won’t like it when she does so, nor put up with it. If however, you are suggesting that men should fight this sort of behaviour from a woman by responding to her with a fist to her mouth, then you have a serious problem.

If you fucking women really want some equal rights around here, you’d better stop whining. If you want the same rights - then start proving that you can really live up to it.

Because there’s a lot of men around, and they have been bitchslapped around for far too long. Either you start giving some respect - or eventually - they WILL take matters into their own fucking hands. And it won’t be pretty.

Oh, i see the debate is on here too. You want your fucking proof “Female”? Here you go:

[Copy/Paste]Excactly. Violence needs to come to a stop, and we need more focus on the whole subject. Women are in fact more violent than men.

http://www.fathers.ca/women_are_more_violent.htm

This is a fact from a scientific study. While men tend to do more damage than women, it’s not much. And in many cases, the women are the agressors.

The only solution to this problem, is for women to get out of their victim-roles in society.

sonyad said:

No House or Trance is too much.

So true. Have you got Faithless’s Renaissence 3 CD set? I can’t live without it.

Please also state your references to back up your claim that it is a known fact that women abuse twice as often as men for that is absolutely ridiculous and if I get a spare three hours I am going to hit you with an avalanche of citations to show the exact opposite.

Billy said:

Some man stabs a baby everyday in this country? What a crock of shit.
The facts show that Mothers abuse children twice as often as anyone else. It more like everyday some Mother harms her children.
Women are not human for they are like fleshbots with no reasoning skills.

Wake up Billy. According to the Children’s Defense Fund, 2001a, “every day in the US, 7,942 children are reported abused or neglected.” So if that many children are being affected by negligent or abusive people, how many women do you think are also being abused? None? Yeah, you probably do think zero and even if I or someone else was to provide you with evidence that 35,000 women in the US were reported battered or sought refuge in a women’s shelter, no doubt you would simply grin and feel all superior about it. How intelligent.