Pain in My Man Ass

Women only have one skill. The ability to have children. And it’s not so much a skill as much as it is a defense mechanism againt doing work. Like how an octopus shoots ink all over the place when a shark is trying to bite it or stab it with something. That’s how women use their natural defense of cranking out children whenever a job is about to bite ahold of them.

It’s also like how Yakov Smirnoff would say shit about Russia about everything, even when it didn’t apply at all. Women are exactly like Yakov Smirnoff except their broken crutch is their ovaries.

Take promiscuous sex for example. Women will explain away their debauchery with some kind of mythical “biological, reproductive clock” that apparently starts dinging up like a slot machine when they hit twenty-six and spits Spanish Fly into the air like a crop duster. Where I come from we have a term for that. Horseshit.

Women also use the act of bearing a child (even the poseurs who haven’t actually gone through with it yet) to prove that they can take more pain than men — and that women have a higher pain tolerance than we do. Where I come from we have a term for that too. Super horseshit. Here’s the horse to prove it.

Linda LeResche “Poppin Fresh” has just earned the coveted MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month award for August (congratulations Reschey Resche) by releasing some foxy facts and findings that really don’t mean shit if you’re either a man or you’re a women who lets a man do all the thinking, talking, and driving for her. If you’re either one of those then the findings and the rest of life in general are obvious.

Men can take more pain that women, says LeResche. Way the fuck more.

I didn’t read the rest of the study because, what the fuck. It’s obvious. Men can take more pain then women? I figured that out the first time I was kicked in the bean machine and fell to the ground for several minutes. I had seen a woman do the same thing when she was struck in the head by a football. The two are not the same.

So have women have been faking that they can take more pain than men? No. They could never do that sort of thing because a woman would never pass up the opportunity to bray like a pauper while being treated like a princess for stubbing her fucking toe or some silly fucking thing like that. Can you imagine? A woman choosing to keep her mouth shut when she’s just had a gold mine of attention fall on her pinkie toe? No. None of us can. Even with our mighty iMANginations.

The real dickle of this pickle is that women only appear to never be in pain because they never fucking do anything. It’s like an equal rights amendment. Sure, it sounds great (not really), but as soon as women start having to live by it everything falls the fuck apart.

Women never do anything — until its time to have a kid. And when that happens they scream like holy hell and say that no man knows what real pain is.

What I say is if the pain of childbirth is on par with the rest of feminanity’s bullshit, I doubt it even hurts very much at all. Bam Bam and you’re done. What the big fucking deal. I’ll tell you for sure that it can’t be as painful as having to listen to the embarrassing, awkwardly-insulting, half-baked opinions of a woman for the rest of your life, which all men have to do.

I would like to think that Linda LeResche agrees with me. That’s why she’s Miss August.

Poppin Fresh

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319 Comments in 319 threads.»

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Comment by biff
2006-06-09 04:41:06

Bitte ja, Sie stören alles Geschenk

 
Comment by billy
2006-06-09 00:33:44

Female said:

Actually Billy, a woman does need to learn the steps, she just doesn’t need to decide what step to do next, she just has to be aware of her partner’s prompts and respond automatically. By the same token, the man needs to give the right prompts at the right time. Giving the wrong prompts will result in a stiletto heel on his foot.

And that would result in a prompt-ness across her backside.

You see women just aren’t good at making men happy, they don’t like to please people, they don’t like to abide by rules. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here getting your attention whore on.

schließen Sie Ihre weibliche Öffnung

 
Comment by RAP
2006-05-30 22:50:01

Good point, Billy.

Good point, Fem.

 
Comment by Female
2006-05-30 21:36:55

Actually Billy, a woman does need to learn the steps, she just doesn’t need to decide what step to do next, she just has to be aware of her partner’s prompts and respond automatically. By the same token, the man needs to give the right prompts at the right time. Giving the wrong prompts will result in a stiletto heel on his foot.

 
Comment by Billy
2006-05-30 21:22:40

Fem you’re right. Women don’t have to remember anything.
They just need to submit to a man and try to learn how to make him happy.

 
Comment by RAP
2006-05-30 17:41:26

She contridicted herself so much that her post actually appeared to make complete logical sense.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2006-05-30 16:47:26

Female has absolutely no idea what she just admitted. She has been doing so since the moment she stumbled onto this site.

She’s really just an embarrassment.

-Dick

 
Comment by Dakota Smith
2006-05-30 16:21:00

Female said:
Therefore, even though, the man in this dance is supposed to lead, if he does not know how to lead correctly, the woman is in a bit of trouble. Same in life.

Wow. I’m amazed that you admitted this. Kudos.

 
Comment by Female
2006-05-30 05:52:38

Billy said:

[blockquote removed]

I can tell you this if men treated women like women treat us men, the world would be in big trouble

Depends on the man really. I had a salsa class tonight from which I will share some thoughts. In salsa, we are instructed that the woman is the senorita and the man is the senor and in salsa, the man leads. It is actually a fabulous dance and great fun because really, the woman doesn’t need to remember anything as she just gets moved around by her partner’s prompts.

However, in my class, there are many men who cannot dance to save their life and when they spin you around they, you are lucky to twirl away to your next partner without a broken wrist or a jard back. Therefore, even though, the man in this dance is supposed to lead, if he does not know how to lead correctly, the woman is in a bit of trouble. Same in life.

 
Comment by Enya
2006-05-30 03:40:19

Feministing.org is a parody site of feministing.com, the .org is created by members of the men’s movement who highlight how ridiculous radicial feminist views are by being ridiculous themselves.

 
Comment by Billy
2006-05-30 01:51:40

johno said:

now tell me this…………….how do you think women should be treated in this world?

I can tell you this if men treated women like women treat us men, the world would be in big trouble.

And this is another reason menarebetterthanwomen.com simply because we are.

 
Comment by mike
2006-05-23 05:36:11

Why can’t a bunch of guys have a simple discussion without everyone and her brother shitting all over the joint?

All these flame wars have started because women (and a few manginas) CHOOSE to be offended over whatever they don’t agree with (the truth they cannot handle, nor change).

Why are women perfectly entitiled to bitch, moan and lie about everything under the sun, even set up websites for this very purpose (e.g. feministing.org), but a man cannot voice his opinion without hell breaking loose? What kind of double standard is that? what happened to freedom of speech, or does that only apply to females in today’s society?

If all women are sugar and spice like they make out, what do they fear from this site? If it’s all lies, whats the problem? It’s not like all men are fickle and incapable of forming their own opinions.

As for generalising, Is it too much to ask for a women to think “that doesnt apply to me” and fuck off altogether? Apparantly so. Instead they CHOOSE to be offended as usual and resort to ad hominem attacks and slander.

 
Comment by johno
2006-05-16 09:56:31

you must be a real simpleton,dick.

you generalise all men and women.
it’s stupid.everyone,male or female,is totally their own individual.
gender dosn’t come into it much atall atall.

now tell me this…………….how do you think women should be treated in this world?

 
Comment by Big Al
2006-05-16 04:50:58

Effing pot said:

I think the idea of feminist anything pretty stupid.

That explains feminist intellectuals.

-Big Al

 
Comment by jamie
2006-05-05 13:59:14

haha i love u dick masterson, im a guy by the way with a womans name… i know… woman are good but only for food

 
Comment by Effing pot
2006-04-26 23:46:56

I think the idea of feminist anything pretty stupid. Why fight for rights of only one gender anyway?

 
Comment by dogfan55
2006-04-26 23:20:29

——————————————————————————–

Feminist men are stupid. They have as much character as an African-
American who endorses the K.K.K. unfortunately, they are everywhere,
those self-hating morons who don’t admit that only men, not women,
invented cities, cars, planes, to improve lives of people. I’d like to
take what is in the Klan handbook, and transfer the statements into a
feminist book about men, and see if anyone notices..I’m surprised they
don’t burn a cross in a man’s lawn. Also, chivalry is stupid crap, like
what happened on the titanic. What with all the male-bashing
of society,lets look after outselves first.

 
Comment by mike
2006-04-19 11:42:03

I’m actually starting to wonder if these muppets are being spat from some production line somewhere. The way they all sound the same is frankly pathetic. Why do these women have to play the “gay” card at every opportunity?

So Sad.

 
Comment by abaddon_fff
2006-04-19 10:45:24

The laws of women once again.

 
Comment by females are better
2006-04-19 10:10:24

if you like men so much better than why aren’t you gay? or are you…. ohhh i get it now. your gay!

 
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