Pain in My Man Ass
Women only have one skill. The ability to have children. And it’s not so much a skill as much as it is a defense mechanism againt doing work. Like how an octopus shoots ink all over the place when a shark is trying to bite it or stab it with something. That’s how women use their natural defense of cranking out children whenever a job is about to bite ahold of them.
It’s also like how Yakov Smirnoff would say shit about Russia about everything, even when it didn’t apply at all. Women are exactly like Yakov Smirnoff except their broken crutch is their ovaries.
Take promiscuous sex for example. Women will explain away their debauchery with some kind of mythical “biological, reproductive clock” that apparently starts dinging up like a slot machine when they hit twenty-six and spits Spanish Fly into the air like a crop duster. Where I come from we have a term for that. Horseshit.
Women also use the act of bearing a child (even the poseurs who haven’t actually gone through with it yet) to prove that they can take more pain than men — and that women have a higher pain tolerance than we do. Where I come from we have a term for that too. Super horseshit. Here’s the horse to prove it.
Linda LeResche “Poppin Fresh” has just earned the coveted MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month award for August (congratulations Reschey Resche) by releasing some foxy facts and findings that really don’t mean shit if you’re either a man or you’re a women who lets a man do all the thinking, talking, and driving for her. If you’re either one of those then the findings and the rest of life in general are obvious.
Men can take more pain that women, says LeResche. Way the fuck more.
I didn’t read the rest of the study because, what the fuck. It’s obvious. Men can take more pain then women? I figured that out the first time I was kicked in the bean machine and fell to the ground for several minutes. I had seen a woman do the same thing when she was struck in the head by a football. The two are not the same.
So have women have been faking that they can take more pain than men? No. They could never do that sort of thing because a woman would never pass up the opportunity to bray like a pauper while being treated like a princess for stubbing her fucking toe or some silly fucking thing like that. Can you imagine? A woman choosing to keep her mouth shut when she’s just had a gold mine of attention fall on her pinkie toe? No. None of us can. Even with our mighty iMANginations.
The real dickle of this pickle is that women only appear to never be in pain because they never fucking do anything. It’s like an equal rights amendment. Sure, it sounds great (not really), but as soon as women start having to live by it everything falls the fuck apart.
Women never do anything — until its time to have a kid. And when that happens they scream like holy hell and say that no man knows what real pain is.
What I say is if the pain of childbirth is on par with the rest of feminanity’s bullshit, I doubt it even hurts very much at all. Bam Bam and you’re done. What the big fucking deal. I’ll tell you for sure that it can’t be as painful as having to listen to the embarrassing, awkwardly-insulting, half-baked opinions of a woman for the rest of your life, which all men have to do.
I would like to think that Linda LeResche agrees with me. That’s why she’s Miss August.
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god, what is with the word “fault”. no, its both the man’s AND the woman’s RESPONSIBILITY*. im not siding with the men or the women here. both made the baby, right? and as for the abortion - i would never get an abortion. i would never suggest anyone else too. i believe that if we let the government decide what we can or cannot do with our bodies, they will soon feel free to decide everything else for us. so yes, im pro-choice. but i would never get an abortion. not even if it was a result of rape. and most certainly not if it was something as stupid as not bothering to use protection. so please dont think that b/c im pro-choice i, myself, would get an abortion. because that is false. i guess thats all i have to say about that.
Poor little thing, must not have been able to afford an abhortion. Sob, sob, sob.
How very empathic of you, student / prostitute. I guess an abhortion, even 9 monthsi n, would have been perfectly morally acceptable though, nay?
Of course, it’s all a man’s fault. Either for having fucked her with no hat on, for having illegalised abhortion or not having paid for it. Or all of the above.
principal*
i read something about how some would simply throw the baby in a trashcan as if it were a used tissue or something. cant imagine how anyone could do that.
tragic. but must i mention that teenagers, female AND male, do stupid shit? so guys dont have to worry about taking care of this other life for those first 9 months, but imagine if [somehow...] guys were the ones carrying the baby in them. there would be those random stupid guys doing things like still drinking at the bar and getting into fist fights or what not. what those teenage girls are doing is wrong. dont think im saying its ok, because its wrong in every possible way. im just saying that you look at this and what these teenage girls are doing and think how women are these cold careless people, but think about all the stupid crap that teenage guys do like hmm i dunno, bringing guns to school and shooting the fucking innocent principle. teenagers… we do stupid stuff. im still a teen, but i look back to when i was a younger teen and think ‘why the HELL did i do THAT?’. some mistakes are small little things like getting into a stupid fight that could have easily been avoided, others… not so small- and involving another human being’s life. i guess the main point is not to only look at one side. yes, there are these girls, selfish naive girls, that are doing crap like that. but then what about those guys who knock a girl up and leave her and the kid [who by the way he's also responsible for] because he doesnt want that kind of pressure and would rather be out partying instead?
*Make that glass hut.
{Common sense} ∩ {Women} = ø. It’s common knowledge, Luka, I’m shocked at this knowledge lapse of yours.
BTW, it’s not the fact they don’t know. They surely do. They just don’t give a fuck in a glass fuck over this or about anyone other than themselves.
Sadly this is not the only example of the irresponsible nature of some pregnant women.
I watched a documentary the other night here in the UK about women who are still drinking alcohol (some were going out to nightclubs when heavily pregnant, getting drunk and not coming home until 4am) without any understanding of the unit size they are supposed to drink nor that they were drinking over this limit - it seemed to me they didn’t care enough to find out information about this so not to harm their baby. Yet this wasn’t the issue that pissed me off the most. No, what pissed me off was the reaction of these expectant mothers: they all fluttered their eyelashes and claimed ‘they didn’t know’ - apparently the fault was with the health authorities? Anyone else spot the stupidity of this? Whatever happened to common sense?? ….GRRRRrrr!
I would explain this in more detail but I will save it for my blog entry this week.
Teenagers ’smoke to ease labour’
“Pregnant teenagers smoke to try to reduce the size of their babies, and make delivery less painful, a government minister has claimed.”
Congratulations, girls. You were given one solitary responsibility in life - to be healthy vessels for bearing healthy children. You couldn’t even get that right without fucking up. (Not to mention what terrible role models you have now made yourselves.)
Many cigarette packets contain some kind of large, bold warning about the dangers of smoking when pregnant. Smoking is also banned in public, in many countries. The dangers have been made very clear in schools and in the media. Education is not to blame here.
Don’t look at us either, we don’t have wombs. If men start shooting blanks due to smoking, nobody else gets hurt.
Another wonderful demonstration of modern women’s cowardly, self-serving attitutes.
What a complete joke.
im adopting.
Ha, mean_jake, actually my comment implied the converse, since the feminist protestor had worded his/her/its protest so poorly. But yeah, we’re all shattered at the thought.
-wolfe
you mean this site isnt serious???
I’m shattered.
No matter. Surely, only just reading mabtw.com is enough to more than make up for those.
Ouch, a further loss of Man Points!
-Dick
Salsa classes? WTF? You’ve just lost some man-points there, Chris. Don’t ever admit that to anyone ever again.
Sorry. I have let you all down. I promise never to do this again.
I only did it for sex. It was a sacrifice, I admit. But a necessary one.
Please don’t judge me too harshly.
Salsa classes? WTF? You’ve just lost some man-points there, Chris. Don’t ever admit that to anyone ever again.
That’s a really stupid and rather catty thing to say.
I noticed the same thing in salsa classes and you are right: many guys could not lead. But that’s because there are very few “modern” dances (whatever those are) where man and woman dance as one. So if one does not have the experience, the outcome is predictable. It’s the same with tango, where the male lead is even more pronounced.
But you prove the point of this entire website: instead of a rational explanation you say something stupid and then apply “it” to something designed to make you look even more ridiculous than probably are already.
In any case, here’s a suggestion: dance with another chick! It will look good on you. And once the evening is over, you will go home alone to your cat and miserable apt and watch I Shot Andy Warhol for the nth time.
Idiot.
Depends on the man really. I had a salsa class tonight from which I will share some thoughts. In salsa, we are instructed that the woman is the senorita and the man is the senor and in salsa, the man leads. It is actually a fabulous dance and great fun because really, the woman doesn’t need to remember anything as she just gets moved around by her partner’s prompts.
However, in my class, there are many men who cannot dance to save their life and when they spin you around they, you are lucky to twirl away to your next partner without a broken wrist or a jard back. Therefore, even though, the man in this dance is supposed to lead, if he does not know how to lead correctly, the woman is in a bit of trouble. Same in life.
Indeed. He would only deserve a wife if he were to think this website is wholly, 100% serious.
-wolfe
Indeed. Dopes of a feather…
Idon’t care whether it’s a joke, you’re a selfish bastard Dick and you don’t deserve a wife if you think of this entire website as a joke.