Sports Are a Woman’s Best Friends. She Hates Them.

If I could go back in time and invest in something that would make me millions of Pounds Sterling, it would be this:

If there’s ever any kind of man-sanctuary from women’s constant BS (bullshit), it will immediately be overrun and ruined by women.

That’s a rock fucking solid investment. And it’s been true since the first primitive man said to himself, ‘Fuck. Woman are annoying.’ Then made a crude caveman type sign that said, ‘No fucking women allowed in this cave today.’ Then found himself ass deep in women.

That’s how women operate. They’re like locusts. They have no respect for anything — especially themselves.

What I’m talking in this case is the hallowed halls of sport and sporting. So rich they are with man-ness that fully grown men are want to fall to their knees and weep. But they don’t, because there’s no fucking crying in sports. Even in victory there’s no crying, because that’s completely fucking embarrassing. Suck it up.

When a woman starts talking about the outcome of an event of sport — talking like she actually gives a shit about it or has the first clue as to why it’s monuMANtally important — I politely roll my eyes, make a sour face, and think to myself.

I sure hope you have a dick, lady. Because otherwise you’re completely full of shit.

Women who claim to be interested in sports are complete frauds and, like usual, are lying to get attention.

There has never been a woman interested in any sport. And when I say any sport I mean baseball and football and soccer and the sorts of things played by men. Girl-soccer and girl-hockey and softball played without a keg on second base are not sports. They’re charity.

Need proof? Probably not because whenever a woman talks about how much she loves sports she sounds about as genuine as a pedophile on Halloween.

Here’s some proof anyway.

1. Most women haven’t gotten off their ass in ever. At the age of twelve, women give up all physical activity and begin a long life of posturing and posing and sitting on comfy ottomans while slinging catty remarks at one another. When it comes to sports they have absolutely no frame of reference.

2. You can’t be an alcoholic unless you drink by yourself. The same is true for being a sports fan. It’s great to scream and cheer at the bar, but do you think any woman has ever had a San Jose Sharks logo on her underwear without anyone else knowing about it? No. Because if she did she’d take the next bus to San Jose and start trolling the sports bars half naked. I’ve seen it a hundred times.

Here comes the most important reason. This is the big money investment.

3. Listen to a woman after her “favorite” sports team (which is always coincidentally the exact same team as the mate or mates she’s trying to attract) has won the game. What will you hear? Only the following:

“They won!”

They? What the fuck they? As men, we all know what any legitimate sports fan would say.

“We won!”

Because we men know that they as a fan — and as a man — we had just as much to do with the victory as some Gatorade-swilling, hot-ass-model-wife-having, endorsement-jerking so-called “athlete” with their million dollar shoe and perfume deals.

And that’s why women hate sports.

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