Dick Goes To The Colbert Report

Yesterday, I had the man pleasure of attending a taping of the Colbert Report staring Stephen Colbert. I have gone on record saying Stephen Colbert is among the top five manliest men alive, and just like anything I have said or ever will say, I stand by it.

Here’s something even manlier I didn’t know about the Colbert Report. It’s staffed almost entirely by men.

Most things in television are run by men because most things in life are run by men. Television shows are not volunteer dog pounds where girls who are already half-suicidal go to depress themselves into fucking oblivion. Television is run by men.

Here are some other things run by men:

The Hoover Dam
The Internet
Destruction Derby
This website

All of those things are massively successful and the fact that they’re packed with more Y-chromosomes than one of those Guess How Many Candies Are In This Fishbowl is no coincidence.

The Colbert Report is exactly the same.

The show has four or five camera operators, all of which are men. And not just any men; they’re big fat men. I assume you need the girth and stability of fatness to be a good camera man. It’s only logical. Women can’t use fatness to their advantage like that. The only thing a fat woman learns is how to complain while eating.

The writers of the Colbert Report are all men as well. At least all the ones I saw were. I imagine that if there are female writers on the show, at the time of the taping they were in an empty room talking about their vaginas obnoxiously or how fucking tremendous it is to be a lesbian in New York City. That’s the only thing women comedians seem to be able to fucking talk about. Women hate the gays. Apparently women from New York City hate them twice as much.

The bouncers, the guides, the warm up guy, the boom operator, the security personnel, all the way down to the fucking janitor; they’re all men on the Colbert Report. If you’re wanting to break into television, this is a perfect first step in doing so. Make sure you’re a man. Just like an awesome movie like The Wickerman or a discussion about an awesome movie like The Wickerman, if there’s a women involved, it will be ruined.

Obviously the man himself, Stephen Colbert, is a man. You could figure that out from the millions of women who want to fuck him. The same could be said for every man.


Colbert gleefully accepted a MenAreBetterThanWomen.com T-shirt while I was at the taping. If you’d like one of your own, I’ve linked to it below.