Driving me nuts.

When it comes to the simple task of driving, be it a car, train or fortune 500 company; men are better than women — although to be certain in the final category there has yet to be a group of evidence which is sufficiently large. Am I right business men.

This is for several reasons.

When a man drives anything — even a relationship into the ground which he may choose to do for good reason, he is thinking of only three things: driving, not hitting things, and how to fix problems on a global scale. The third topic may seem overwhelming as such, but as men we have a unique ability to prioritize what we’re thinking about in order to get all jobs done and take care of all outstanding business at maximum efficiency and without cluster fucking everything that we touch. It is this paring that makes us men good at driving. Women, however, are completely different.

All women are aware of the fact that shortly after driving, she will find herself among other people — be it friends, family, or various cashiers; and as selfishly as possibly, a woman is only thinking about the way to best attract attention to herself when she gets to this future spot. What a woman is thinking about as she is driving, is nothing but the opposite. She is thinking about her makeup probably, or how to spin her latest near collision with a similarly out of control woman on the road into a panic-laced tale of woe guaranteed to win her all kinds of delicious sympathy.

Sympathy is a woman’s crack cocaine. She’ll do anything for it. Including driving down a perfectly straight road like a lopsided bowling ball.

Also, the argument that men are not better than women at driving because women are subconsciously doing it on purpose, is not a valid argument.